While the lights were off

 Yesterday the power company interrupted our area's power supply to do some works. It was a beautiful day so we decided to just go for a drive.

We ended up in a lovely seaside town called Paynesville. It was a long drive, and I had fallen asleep on the long stretch of freeway as my fibromyalgia was flaring badly. 

The sun was warm on my sore muscles but still too warm to sit out under it, so we parked under the shade of a tree and ate some fish and chips.

The water was quite blue with frothy white capped waves and some black swans floated by, buoyed up repeatedly in them as they searched for their own lunch. It was easy to see how they caught their meal under the water, plunging their long necks under the sea.

The water was maybe only a few feet from our car and it was very soothing to hear the rhythmic pounding against the brick sea break...

The sun shone warmly, our tummies were full and there was a long drive home, so we cranked back our seats and soon were carried to the arms of Morpheus, which wasn't an unwelcome experience, especially as Chris was tired from the long drive and still not feeling the best- and me with my fibro pain and fatigue.

We woke after about a half hour as a dog barked excitedly on his seaside walk. We lingered a bit longer, enjoying the sea and watching a sail boat tacking and slipping into the marina.

Before going home, I walked to the toilet block to be greeted by three black swans and a grey cygnet  drinking from a fresh water spigot and bowl. They were unconcerned as I walked past them and just continued drinking. When I came back out, they were waddling back towards the sea, their barrelled bodies and long necks looking too heavy for their spindly webbed legs...

Continuing on home, taking it slowly, I received a text from our electricity service provider telling us the power had been restored to our homes. We knew it would be back on by the time we got home. That was the plan! 

The house was hot when we got back in the evening, so we opened it up, made a cup of tea,  and fell asleep together on the couch in front of the TV.

The day had been very pleasant, far more so than if we had just stayed home, trying to cope with fibro pain and Chris's shoulder pain. We were glad we had a diversion from our ills and decided to take our little trip to the seaside while the lights were off.

Smelling the roses!

 

The last few weeks have been full of drama and it has seen my body collapsing with the mother of all fibromyalgia flares and a (non Covid) viral infection. Most things have been resolved and I have my peace back again. 

I have taken back control of my house in which I had fallen down during my illness, and I have had help from a cleaner from my aged care package. 

A lot of our Corona limits have been lifted and I have been able to see my family. That has helped. More things will be lifted next Sunday and it looks hopeful that we will be able to see family at Christmas.

Chris is recovering well from his surgery and no longer needs special dressing of his wound. In fact, a bandaid suffices now. I am so cheered that he is well. I hate it when he is unwell. 

The days are getting hotter with tomorrow set to be 33deg C but I am not concerned since we aren't going outside and we have air conditioners now.

We saw the doctor today for routine blood results and my blood pressure check as it was high last week. With giving my situation to the LORD and regaining my peace, it was 134/80 and the doctor was very pleased.

We have found a couple of Christian networks to watch wholesome movies and they have been very uplifting. One is New Faith Network for which I pay about $8AUD a month and the other is free for 14 days then $8AUD a month-  ACCTV.net from Australia. 

Chris and I sit of an evening and watch TV together and it all helps to bring stress levels down as well as blood pressure.

We are enjoying our back garden with a return of the prolific bird life that is so colourful. They have returned from their migration north to beat the winter and they are a joy to watch as they come down for the seed and food we leave for them.

Life can be so difficult, but can also be so wonderful: a great deal of the wonder of it all is to take time in smelling the roses! 

The last one didn't make it home!

So this morning I am in my study checking my emails when I hear Chris talking in the nearby kitchen.

"So which of you is gonna be brave this morning?" he asks his upheld fingers as he searches for a digit that hasn't recently been jabbed for glucose testing..

They are all sore and he is running out of fingers... "Come on, Chaps! I want a volunteer!.... right then, You- step forward!"

I am giggling to myself because all my fingers are sore as well... but I stopped giggling when I heard him call out  "12.9!" -that's a high number for a fasting test.

Going to the kitchen to write it down in our diabetes diary, I asked Chris to retest it... sometimes the monitor needs recalibrating. 

I recalibrated it as Chris again studied his fingers. "I want another volunteer!.." I felt bad when the   result was still 12.9! All for nothing too with no need for the last volunteer  who didn't make it home. 

Sometimes old school is better

So when we lived in the fifth wheeler, we needed to find a vacuum that actually picked up cat fur, wasn't heavy and didn't take up a lot of room in storage.  We bought a Dyson V6 Animal with disappointing results. 

It became clogged with Xena's fur mainly and it was difficult to unlatch it to empty. At $700AUD, it wasn't cheap.

While it was kind to my sore back, it was not at all kind to my arthritic fingers. In fact, as soon as there was the slightest relaxation of pressure on the red button to run the motor, the thing died.

Last night Chris was able to resolve a problem of it stopping and starting erratically. He dismantled it and cleaned the filter and removed dirt from around the collection area. It improved and pulsed properly, but it still is a big disappointment. It simply blocks up too easily and quickly. 

For those Sacrificial Home Keepers with arthritic hands and fingers, or fibro hands, I would not recommend a Dyson. Something old school that runs with a power cord would work better.

Fortunately, we have a Volta Red Devil that has a long cord and we find this better in the long run. Unkind on my back, it doesn't hurt my hands or fingers. Sometimes old school is better.

Today we had our blood tests for diabetes: HBA1C. We went to the chemist to pick up some prescriptions and headed home. Chris needed his insulin injection and breakfast.

I am under the weather with fibromyalgia- same old story: weather changes = pain. So I followed the Wednesday List on Sylvia's Lists and had a much needed nana nap.

We are having a late dinner tonight as we have to wait 8 hours between Chris's injections as we were late with it due to the fasting this morning. Not feeling overly hungry, we are going to just have a frozen dinner.  We eat really well most nights, so a frozen meal occasionally won't harm us.

I am a firm believer in eating nutritious foods and we live on three veg and meat dinners cooked from scratch.  I know take away and fast foods are convenient, but once again, old school is better...

We are so over it!

Here in Victoria there has been an increase in people getting Corona. Apparently, people who have tested positive have been told to isolate at home, and they have ignored the orders and visited their families. 

We have had clusters of positive results because of this and therefore many of the lessening restrictions that were coming in have been delayed.

Now I love being home and except for rare occasions such as doctor visits and chemist trips, we have been doing what we have been told to do. But for the majority of us Victorians who are doing the right thing, the minority that have not have sent our positive tests up.

Businesses that were tentatively putting their "we are open" signs up have now had to quickly turn them around to read "Closed".

People here are losing their livelihood because of the idiots who think they can win the battle with Rona by doing what they please! These idiots who disobey quarantine rules should be imprisoned for a time. Or fined- or both.

I mean, what sane person who is tested positive would go to their family and give it to them? It just goes to show their selfish mentality.

Don't get me wrong: I am not against us staying home or visiting family- if one is well. But to visit them when positive for Rona is wicked. Nor am I against the government trying to stop the spread.

I am a home body- Chris is as well, but it was all starting to close in on us and we were looking forward to a relaxation of the rules. Now we will be ordering our food online and staying home.

With my fibromyalgia reacting to the stress of a couple of family members having tests for cancer, home is quite a good place to be.

It's just that I was looking forward to a trip to see those family members but it's all been curtailed. So all in all, we aren't very happy.

I never thought I would say this, but I am even sick of my computer... I have cooked a few dishes I wanted to try and done some de-cluttering too. There's nothing much to be done and the boredom is real.

Keep in mind, I love my home and can see the need for isolation once more- It's just a bit overwhelming at the moment- and we are so over this! 

Again: it's just the nature of the beast!

Chris is going to help his son with car stuff so I will be home alone today. 

If I have enough spoons, I plan to make no sugar icecream that Karen posted in her vlog, bake a no sugar cake for Chris to enjoy and cook a beef stew for dinner. 

Last night I facetimed my grandaughter, Taylah. I miss her terribly!  Although the children have just returned to school, it will be school holidays again this Friday for two weeks. I plan to have her stay with us for a few days. She's excited too! 

My fibromyalgia is still flaring and my sugars were high today. I think maybe I need a nana nap before cooking... one can never plan anything with certainty. 

That's the emotional downside of fibro... it tries to run our life. I mean, really, is cooking a few things too much to ask in a whole day?

Somehow, with twenty-two years of fibromyalgia, my answer is: sometimes! Yes, it's all about spoons!  

No good whining about it: I've said it before and it's true- it's just the nature of the beast! 

From the comfort of my couch

Today when I woke up, the outside was like a winter wonderland. Everything had a cloak of white from the frost. I quickly put the heaters on and warmed the place up.

After my lunch, I was still in my Oodie and I just didn't really have any spoons to do much. The birds were eating in our bird feeder and the sun had come across the back garden and was so warm that I was able to turn the heater off.

My stress levels when Chris became ill were pretty high, and I had done a lot of driving over the last two weeks. It played major havoc with my fibromyalgia, back and hips. I don't usually drive so of course I was using muscles that don't get used much. And they were complaining!

We opened the back door to air the house. The birds were chirping, the cattle were lowing and the stream at the end of our garden was flowing fast and bubbling. The sun shone on the water and not for the first time, I thanked God for giving us this home to rent.

Chris was sitting at the end of the couch and invited me to lay down and he would give me a foot rub. Now with all the driving, my right foot was extremely sore from using the pedals, and my peripheral neuropathy from diabetes was causing my feet to burn. He knows I suffer with sore feet and oedema in my legs, thanks to heart failure, and he rubs my feet and massages the water from them up towards my heart. It is supposed to help with heart failure.

The sun was shining right in my eyes, so I pulled my Oodie hood over them and lay listening to the birds, cows and stream. With closed eyes and the sun shining on my bare legs, the birds continued to chorus and with the water running, it felt exactly like I was at the beach. I fell asleep.

When I woke from my resultant slumber, Chris had closed the door as it was getting cold again. My muscles felt more relaxed and I had a few spoons to cook some fish and mashed potato with peas for dinner. I even did an apple pie sweetened with Hermasetas and cinnamon.

I was so comforted by just getting to rest and sleep and I intend to go to the "beach" again tomorrow- all from the comfort of my couch!

I am wearing my blanket!

We are in our winter here in Australia and where we live in a small country town, it gets very cold. Sometimes it even snows. 

With my thermostat being broken due to fibromyalgia and then being on blood thinners for my stents and antiphospholipid syndrome, my blood is like water and I really feel the cold.

You kinda know your blood is thin when you get a blood test with your husband and when it's standing in vials next to mine, his is dark red and mine is watery pink! So yes, I feel the cold keenly.

Our home is all electric and of course our only heating is electric too. So when the bill came, I gasped when I saw how much it cost! 

When I saw the Oodie on Face Book, I asked Chris if I could have one for my birthday! I ordered it in April but didn't get it until the beginning of June. Just in time for the coldest months in Australia. I figured that if it was as warm as they say, that it would recoup the cost in just one billing cycle!

Now Chris is from England, and he is quite used to the cold and doesn't feel it like I do. When he saw how warm I was without using the little fan heater in my study, he mentioned that he might like one for his birthday!  Since getting older and feeling ill with high sugars and vertigo, he declared that he was now feeling cold too.

So he tried it on and apart from mine being the pink you see in the picture, it was perfect! So I ordered a navy one for him. Size is not a factor as they are made oversize and one size fits all! 

The only problem is that he won't get it until July as they are pre-ordered and very popular here!

They are expensive and I got mine on Afterpay which helps a good deal. We love Afterpay!

Today is Monday and I am doing Sylvia's Lists today as I am feeling under the weather with fibromyalgia flaring. The last few weeks have been stressful, especially the day Chris was taken ill and I thought he had suffered a stroke.

We then had to sort out his new insulin regime which I did, and although he is now improving, I still am suffering rebound fibro flares from the stress.

I am planning to cook lamb strips in a marinade of mongolian beef with green veg and mashed potato for dinner. Depending on Chris's sugars, I will serve some artifically sweetened jelly and sugar free icecream for dessert.

By the way, I am not getting paid to advertise my Oodie. I just wanted to pass on my great comfortable friend for your consideration to anyone here who feels the cold. I really love mine: I can find anywhere is a great place to sit and be cosy as I am wearing my blanket! 

Better days ahead!

We are still self isolating. Chris's sugars are slowly improving, as are his ears. I am planning on decluttering our home today as the home help lady is coming Wednesday to do our floors. I am looking forward to that. 

I ordered groceries online last night and they are going to be delivered this afternoon. Chris is the type of guy who could live on meat and two veg- as long as one of them is mashed potato! So that diet is great for his diabetes control. It is easy to do and I have a happy man! 

I ordered lots of frozen veg in packets that you steam in the microwave... and they do potato mash in white and sweet potato.  I usually make a gravy to pour over the vegetables.

With still feeling exhausted with my fibromyalgia flare, I am very appreciative of convenience foods that are still healthy. 

Anyway, with the sugars improving and Chris not so dizzy, I can not only see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I can see better days ahead!

Still the mistress of our home!

Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus. 

My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.

My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.

My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.

Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...

I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70 in a few weeks and is unable to do housework with me.

I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.

As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore. 

So, I am throwing in the towel.... well, mostly. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online),  cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.

In saying I am throwing in the towel, I forgot how much I still will be doing. I guess I will still be the mistress of our home! 

Help in a hurry

So we needed an ambulance Monday morning. Within 20 minutes not one, but two ambulances were at our house, tending to Chris. They were wonderful and stabilised him and got us to our local hospital in about 20 minutes..

This is something that was important to us as older people with many health issues. Living in the country, we weren't quite sure how long help would be if we needed it. We were very impressed and comforted.

The last few days have been difficult with looking after Chris as he becomes accustomed to injecting Insulin, and trying to overcome my resulting flare of fibromyalgia.

It was inevitable with having to drive to the hospital for a couple of days and not being able to sleep well... 

As a result I was so overcome with fatigue and muscle pain that my dear daughter-in-law pulled on some gloves and washed my dishes for me while her husband visited Chris. I am most grateful to her.

I have ordered my groceries online and am expecting them in a few hours. I think I have just enough spoons left to drag them in and put them away. So most likely I will serve a frozen dinner for tea tonight. I am so tired today that even breathing is too hard.

Anyway, I am pleased with country living in emergencies, even if the hospital care leaves a lot to be desired.... as I posted about here.  But at least we now know that it's only 20 minutes away if we need help in a hurry.

I aint no cry baby!

So a few days ago it was my birthday. The day started well with Chris giving me breakfast in bed. During the day I facetimed with my family. 

We usually go out for a meal on each other's birthday, but of course with Rona, we had a change of plans. So Chris took me to KFC drivethrough for dinner. We ordered our meal and then ate it in the carpark of Safeway, under the romantic light of the trolley bay!

The rain was belting down and we sat there reminiscing about earlier days and how different things are now.

But we never let Rona spoil our moment. At nearly 70, life teaches you many things. One thing appropriate for now is that you gotta bend or you will break..... 

Seems like at my stage of life and health, bending to difficult circumstances is the only bending I can do.... and laugh. Yes, you gotta laugh. Or else you cry. And I aint no cry baby!

Things on my to do list:

1. Fold and put away washing
2. Do a roast lamb in the air fryer for dinner
3. Clean my kitchen

Flat out like a lizard drinking

Our little white cat, Xena has found the perfect spot for a daytime sleep. We have her little bed in front of the back sliding door and she loves sleeping in it. The sun comes round after 11am and shines right in on her. Until it gets too hot, she sleeps happily in it.

We have been enjoying the autumn or fall afternoon sunshine as well as the days are cold but the sun coming through our door is delightful. Plus, it gives me Vitamin D which I am low on.

I am taking my afternoon nana naps on the couch now. With the door open a crack, we can hear the stream running behind the property, and of course the birds are chirping. It's hard to keep awake with the heat and birdsong. So I give into it.

Later on today I am going to purchase some magnesium tablets in an attempt to relieve myself of the muscle pains and calf cramps. I think maybe it's not just my fibromyalgia so I think it won't hurt to give the magnesium tablets a go.  My last blood test did say I was low in it. I am just so over being in pain.

I think more than being in pain all the time,  my sometimes being snappy with Chris hurts me more. I am so very glad he says he understands and doesn't hold it against me.

On my to list today is to do the tea dishes- (yes I left them last night) and to do some rissoles with mashed potato and veggies for tea.

Apart from that you will find me on the couch taking in the sunshine, flat out like a lizard drinking!

Feeling nurtured

So as you know, I have been under the weather with my fibromyalgia and angina. No amount of determination and desire can call my spoons into action. I cannot function well at the moment. No matter what.

I have succumbed to false guilt, but after a heart to heart with Chris and some Quiet Time with the LORD, I feel a little better.

Having Chris bring me in some tea this morning and his offer to vacuum today has brought a smile to my face. I feel nurtured when he pitches in to help me.

I will be taking some Paracetamol soon and he has promised to give my feet and legs a massage. He gently massages my swollen ankles upwards towards my heart. It helps my weakened heart, and after I find that I can bend my toes and move my feet again. But usually it just makes me sleep. I am always glad to have a nana nap.

The only thing I am going to do today is make fish and chips in the air fryer. I will serve them with salad for dinner. 

Being a chronically ill wife, I sometimes worry about how Chris feels. It must be tedious for him, but when I mention it, he waves his hand and says it's all part of the job of being a husband... and he sure has me feeling nurtured.

Surprise!

Recently our landlord came to cut the grass and when he was mowing down near the shed at the bottom of the garden, he found a large bush of cherry tomatoes growing there.

Chris went down later on and picked them for me. I gave them a good wash and put them in the fruit basket. There were heaps more than this, but we have been picking at them as we go to put the nearby kettle on. Which is pretty often in our house! 

I have been down and out for the count the last few days with a really tough bout of fibromyalgia. As I age, I find my fibro flares are more often and more painful.

So I have been doing the absolute minimum in the house (mainly meals) and sleeping. Although I am a little better today, I will be doing more of the same later on.

All I plan for today is:

1. Sweep my kitchen floor.
2. Cook chicken chow mein for dinner. I will use the slow cooker for this.
3. Nap as often as I can

I will ask Chris to get the last of the tomatoes in today before the birds eat them all. To us, they were a surprise, but the birds knew they were there all along! 

June Cleaver's dragging her heels

These last few days my fibromyalgia pain has increased to the point I cannot function without assistance in the home. In fact, just talking to you now has been an effort and typing has seen my muscle and tendons cramp and spasm.

So I will be doing some minimal housework today, just to keep the wheels moving, but I have enlisted some help from my husband.

My focus will be on clearing clothes from my clean laundry tub and cooking something for tonight. Chris will vacuum a bit for me later on.

We both will be doing dishes from last night and whatever accumulates as we eat breakfast and lunch and I cook dinner.

This is the time when I find myself weepy and inclined to lapse into false guilt. For some reason my perfectionism increases as my spoons decrease, and I have to put into practice what I have spoken about and believe: it is not my fault that I am chronically ill and God loves me just the way I am. Thank goodness, it's not about how fast I spin my wheel! 

Today, fibromyalgia has won: I am on a go slow, pacing and napping mode. It is all I can manage to keep awake. Today is going to be a wash out. The wanna be June Cleaver is dragging her heels.

The Queen of List Making

So I did it again! Instead of cleaning up after dinner, I went to bed with dishes in the sink. I hate when I do that!

I mean, with fibromyalgia robbing me of a good restful sleep, the mornings are hard enough to face. Having a dirty kitchen to wake up to is the pits!

Most would think that it's just laziness, but by the time I have cooked dinner my spoons are almost gone. Yes gone! I am so done in by the end of the day that even lifting my arms up to put my nightie over them creates pain.

Oh, yes, I make lists and read motivational blogs and You tubes, but to no avail. I am the Queen of List Making. Yet my limited spoons dictate that I do very little and I am left with ashes in my mouth.

I know I said before that I have been keeping busy and that's true, but I now have a rebound fibro flare and coupled with our autumn cold snap with rain, I am in a lot of pain.

You would think that I would have worked out this fibromyalgia lurk after twenty years. And for the most part although I hate it, I have learned to exist with fibro without feeling false guilt that leads to depression.

Most days I accept my disability, but deep inside is a perfectionist screaming to get out! On days like our current lockdown days, due to Rona, I try to nest and I overextend my limits. Hello, Fibro Flare!

I am grateful to my husband Chris. He is an mild mannered man who is happy with how I do manage to keep our nest. He and most people who come to visit- well in better days obviously- are happy with the state of our home.

It must be that I am my own worst enemy: trying to do the work of a much younger healthier self: everything in its place and a place for everything. But always straining, never achieving thanks to Fibromyalgia.  I need to accept what is and hang up my crown as the Queen of List Making.

Today I am doing just a few things:

1. Cooking a chow mein in the slow cooker
2. Doing those dishes from last night
3. Giving in to the latest flare and taking a nana nap