I am looking up!

So the trip last Wednesday to pick out a bed and walker and then to finish some errands that were necessary saw me with a major fibromyalgia flare.

I had to go in person to chose the adjustable bed that will hopefully help me sleep better and bring down the swelling in my legs and feet. It was necessary to try out the various mattresses and models to make a good choice.

In the end, I chose a non divided queen size medium mattress with a padded bamboo topper. This should help with the fibro muscle pain and still support my sore back. 

After that I had to try out various walkers and walk around with it. It was exhausting.

This pulmonary hypertension is literally sucking the life out of me.  It is harder than ever to walk as my breathing is effected. That, plus the hole in my heart is leaching the oxygen out of my blood cells..It makes me suffer from dizzy spells and I have to grab onto something to stop falling over ..

So today and yesterday I have been sitting down a lot. Normally I sit in front of our kitchen window which is very sunny and has a good outlook. I love watching the white cabbage moths and the birds in our back yard. It sooths me as it's very relaxing. 

It's easy to be depressed. But I don't want to stay there. While there's life, there's hope. And speaking of hope, I have been praying and thanking God that I am His child. The hope of Jesus coming for His Church, His Bride in the Rapture is a real hope to cling to.  

His love and His promise to keep me and bring me to Himself keeps me going. And as I sit here in the window sunlight, you can be sure I am looking up.

The spirit is willing

 

So I decided to take a bath today. No mean feat when one is chronically ill or disabled. It turned out to be a big mistake.

Chris helped me get into the bath as it's pretty high. I no longer have my bath lift  so that made things a bit harder again.

It was so difficult to make my knees bend enough to sit down in the water, but when I finally was in, the water was so soothing. I lay there for about 40 minutes, just luxuriating in it.

The loofah did a marvellous job of exfoliating my body and once again, I was so glad to actually be able to bathe.  Then came the hardest part: getting out.

I tried every way to get out without kneeling on my sore knees, but in the end, I had to. There was no other way. It hurt like crazy!

Today my knees are aching and it is with sadness that I realised-(not for the first time) that it will have to be showers from now on for me.

I have no painkillers here so I am just taking paracetamol... which is pretty much useless for strong pain.

So I have made a short list today for chores I want to do.

I have put away the online groceries that came this morning.

I have done a load of washing that is in the dryer.

I have a slow crocker full of pork sweet and sour rice for dinner tonight.

After all these years of chronic illness, mainly fibromyalgia and shuermanns disease, I think I have worked out how many spoons I can save during a bad day.

As it is written," The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak!" Matthew 26:41  Indeed it is! 

It still is what it is!

You may remember me telling you that I bought a bath chair lift so that I can have a bath. I was so overjoyed when it came.

Unfortunately it didn't work out for me and I only used it twice before I sold it. It came down to awkward plumbing and knees that don't work anymore. 

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, not only disappointment that I couldn't bathe but also for the fact that it cost me $870AUD.

It was still immaculate and under warranty so I decided to sell it. I did after a couple of weeks, but I sold it for only $400AUD with ebay fees of $53.90 so I didn't make much back on it. 

On the bright side though, I did find that the shower in the main bathroom has an easier accessible shower stall and better water pressure than the ensuite one. 

And speaking of showering, I have purposed to have it at night now due to my spoons being scarce with my latest fibromyalgia flare. It doesn't matter so much if I run out of spoons if I am on my way to bed anyway.

Victoria has been experiencing very wild weather with lots of rain and thunderstorms. The pain in my joints and muscles gets too much to bear at times and I find I am needing to take a Tramadol some days.

 I haven't been spending much time on the computer for this reason as Tramadol makes me feel spaced out and I can't focus to write properly. Like everything to do with fibromyalgia, it's a tough task master and a tyrant, but it is what it is! 

I can hardly wait!

 

As most of you know, I have both knees injured with torn menisci and ligaments. Showers are difficult as it's hard to stand. 

I find myself grieving the loss of independence and the ability to take a bath. So it was with great joy that I found this The Aquatec orca bath lift a bath lift for getting in and out of the bath. 

We went to the Mobility Aids shop and I bought one. It was $875AUD including delivery of $70. It will be delivered this Friday. I am overjoyed.

I know it is expensive, but I figure it will be worth every cent. Plus you can pay it on Afterpay. And Chris will also be able to use it so that's good for him as well.

At the end of a fibromyalgia filled day or a day of back pain, a bath can be so comforting. I can hardly wait! 

Life is good in spite of setbacks

I am trying to keep up with my home making duties. I have to do some dishes and clean my kitchen.. My knees are paining me so much today, that I won't be able to do much more. 

Fibromyalgia is back again and spoons are scarce. I am also psyching myself up to take a shower. Lucky we have a shower chair now. Funny how you don't think twice about it until chronic illness comes a'callin! 

With the brain fog, I get side tracked often too. Now I ask Siri to remind me to change the loads of washing over from washer to dryer. I need to find an app to tell me I have left stuff out that should go in the fridge or that I have nuked a night time snack and find it in the microwave in the morning hahaha

I am planning  on using  my slow cookers  a lot today.  I will be slow cooking the pork chops in a sweet curry sauce with  the rice.  I will be making some Jewish Penicillin in another slow cooker  and I will make  a chow mein in the other slow cooker for tomorrow.

After that, I plan to feed the birds and watch them eat...  sitting out on the porch under the apple blossoms on the neighbour's tree... it's the first day of Spring here in  Australia. Life is good in spite of setbacks..

Wheelchair bound

So, the MRI results are in. I have a meniscus tear, fabella, torn posterior crucius ligament, bursitis and osteo arthritis behind the patella. It needs surgery as it does not repair itself.

I am to see an orthopaedic surgeon and meanwhile I must rest the knee and use pain killers. 

We have bought a shower chair and a wheelchair. I have had Chris push me on the seat of my walker, but it is a big strain on his heart and I worry about him. 

It is difficult to focus enough to write at the moment and I spend a lot of time on the couch aka the beach, or in bed with my electric blanket.

I am just able to stand enough to wash some dishes, cook a meal and stack the washer and dryer. Chris helps sometimes and has been my legs.

I am making use of the slow cooker a lot, cooking the meals as I am able to stand.

As with all new health issues, I am trying to come to terms with this "new normal" and the constant struggles with fibromyalgia are now "normal" and this new challenge is calling for all my ability to accept my new lot in chronic illness.

I am disheartened that both my knees have now given way (I have a torn meniscus in my other knee), and am trying to feel grateful that I could afford a wheelchair. Thank goodness for afterpay.

However romantic a picture I can find really doesn't cut it for me as I struggle to accept that I am now wheelchair bound.

Walking like Tin Man!

So my right knee has been hurting for six weeks since I drove for five hours a day when Chris wasn't feeling well enough to do it. I was hopeful that it would come better, but unfortunately it hasn't and it came to a crescendo two days ago.

Making a pivoting step to turn round and grab something out of my fridge, I felt a searing pain that nearly made me pass out and I thought I had torn the meniscus in the right knee as well as the left one injured three years ago.

With pain still from my jaw following a dental extraction that saw my jaw planed which then brought on a bad fibromyalgia flare, the pain in my knee saw me getting wheeled into my doctor's office 2 days. I cannot put any weight on it at all and it feels unstable.

Two days later and Xrays under arm, we returned to the doctor who told me my ACL ligament had snapped and sheared off some of the tibia with it. He rang an orthopaedic specialist for a look at the films and a second opinion.

Turns out the tibia is intact, but I have a bony stone behind the knee called a fabella. I am having a MRI tomorrow which will tell us more and indicate what treatment is available for the ligament damage as well as the fabella.

I am unable to put any weight on it and have been told to rest the leg. I have been given Tramadol to cope with the pain.

So I am looking at getting a shower chair and possibly hiring a wheelchair. We find that easier for Chris to use as I am concerned about him pushing me especially with his heart problems.

For the next few days at least, it's rest, pain relief and trying to remain positive as I walk like Tin man in the Wizard of Oz!