When the spoons are gone forever

 

The Australian government allocates $53,000 pa in a care plan to try to keep aging people in  their own home if possible. It works out cheaper than putting them into a nursing home. I am so grateful to live here where there's help because aging is no fun!

A lot of oldies here have to sell their home to get into a nursing home and/or have their aged pensions garnished. Chris and I have absolutely no assets to garnish and the Aged Care Package here is means tested.  

We rely on the Aged pension and that is all we have... so we qualified. 

We have worked hard in our lifetime, managed our homes, worked outside the home, brought up our children and possibly, even grandchildren. Now we find either that our spouse has passed away or is also suffering the effects of old age and cannot help us either.

There's no shame in asking for help. Even Sacrificial Home Keepers eventually run out of spoons which  are then gone forever.

Part of your tribe

Sadly, I walk the lonely path of mental illness and chronic illness and it can be a lonely path.

However, I have been blessed with a caring and gentle husband who stays beside me and who has my back. It is such a comfort to know that his love isn't conditional on how fast I spin my wheel.

If you have someone like that in your life, consider yourself blessed. In this cold and crazy old world, it's hard to find a good heart.

Thank God for people who support us in our illness or disability- they truly are God given. Cherish them. They are kindred spirits and part of your tribe...

Catching up and Staying put.

 

You may recall our rented home was up for sale. Well, it finally got settled last Thursday and we are allowed to stay on as tenants.

This was so good as we have now acquired another cat to join Xena and Milo. He started out as a skinny manky stray but his quiet ways and lovely face won our heart. And being a cat lover, I fed and befriended him.

Eventually he invited himself inside and captured Chris's heart as well. We didn't know what gender he was, so we named him Ginger. We thought he was a feral cat but I looked into our local FB groups and lo and behold, in the lost pets section, who should be staring at me on the page than our little Ginger.

So I messaged the owner and she confirmed it was him. He has blossomed and she loved the video we posted of him. She said he looked happy and told us he was an almost 3 years old neutered male, was called Joey and had run away when moving house last January. 

She also told us that as circumstances had changed she could no longer keep him, so we could keep him! We did! He has the sweetest nature ever! 

I have finally weaned off the Prednisolone. I have gained weight while I have been on it, but the pain relief it gave almost made it worth it. I still have polymyalgia rheumatica and also fibromyalgia, which isn't helped by Prednisolone. It seems that pain will always find me.

My lymphodema is still bad with my right arm swelling a lot. My sugars are coming down too since I started on insulin injections.

On the bright side, we have a great-grandson due any minute, a great-granddaughter due in July and another great-granddaughter due in October. I have already given each mother a crocheted shawl and a knitted jacket and am glad that I managed to finish them all before the latest health challenge.

We had a small baby shower for the girls and I am so glad it was done before these last few challenging months. I made a gender neutral hamper for the baby due in October as it was too early to know the gender. It was a happy day.. 

Apart from crocheting these bibs for each baby, the girls's gifts are done... and so we are caught up and staying put! 

 

A personal battle

Those of us who suffer from chronic pain and illness probably will find that taking a shower is not only an exhausting experience, but a scary one as well.

With spoons scarce and a fear of injuring oneself in a fall or having a heart attack or breathing difficulties whilst under it, we can put taking a shower off for quite some time. Especially as well, during a flare up of fibromyalgia..

With this in mind, I did some reading up about this personal battle and I came across a really informative blog by a hospice nurse. She has some really helpful information which I intend to try...

I have been doing washes at the vanity sink and I have been helping Chris with his bathing as well. We also brush our hair and teeth and change our clothes each day. So we never get to the point where we smell. But it is still important to wash our bodies and hair.

In the past I have bought these bath sponges that require no soap and just a little water. Or none. I have tried these ones called Scrubzz  I found that they fluffed up after adding water so I am trying the foam by Scrubzz

I do have trouble washing my hair due to mobility issues with fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica. It is simply too painful for me to raise my arms. 

Today I learned of a new Scrubzz Shampoo Caps. Shampoo with water in a cap that does not need a rinse or leak and can be used even in bed.

I am sharing this with you so that you don't feel alone if you also suffer fear of showering. If it helps you it will be worth the embarrassment of sharing this very personal battle.

We aren't lucky but blessed!

 

So you may recall our rented house was up for sale. Well I am pleased to report that it has been sold to an investor who is willing for us to stay here longterm. We are overjoyed! The settlement is today.

Also a longing of mine was to be a cat lady in my old age, and now we have 3 cats! A gorgeous little ginger cat has won our hearts and home. We are not entirely sure of its gender but it doesnt really matter.

It was very hungry and manky looking when it came around eating the scraps we put out for the birds. So we fed it proper cat food and it hungrily woofed it down.

Gradually it lingered and wanted petting so eventually it ended up inside. At the moment both Xena and Milo aren't too thrilled, but they will get used to it.

Ginger is the name we have given it and it is a very affectionate young cat. It has literally bloomed with the cat grooming itself now that it is now longer hungry and in survival mode. It purrs continuously.

When we are better acquainted, I will check a bit harder to determine its gender, but I don't want to frighten it off at the moment.

We finally have repaired our letter box. You may recall it was damaged by the Woolworths delivery driver and we heard nothing back from them or the transport company who employ their drivers.

With the settlement of this house pending, we decided to purchase and install a  new letter box. And just in time for the final inspection before settlement, it was replaced... 

We both realise how much the LORD has blessed us, and we are grateful. We aren't lucky, but blessed! 

Back to basics

As you probably know, life has been really hard for me both physically and emotionally. Chronic illness is never fun.

But life must go on and that life for me is as a wife, and home maker. So it is normal that I would sit and ponder on how I can best use my few spoons or energy and continue to care for us both as well as our pets and home.

I have had to prioritise our basic needs in order to keep our home clean and our bodies clean and fed.

For me I need to daily organise our meals and medications and feed our cats and birds. 

In order to do that, I need to menu plan and then shop online for supplies.

I also need to do a load of washing each day. With polymyalgia rheumatica and fibromyalgia still hurting, I use the dryer.

To keep a roof over our head and utilities and food coming, I have to organise our budget and pay the bills.

I need to organise our medications into pill organisers and get any repeat prescriptions dispensed.

If this necessitates a doctors appointment, I have to make a booking for a phone consult. Every second day we shower and help each other..

With my Aged Care Home Package, I have a cleaner come for 2 hours a week and she does what I simply cannot manage anymore. She changes our beds, cleans the kitchen benches and stovetop, dusts and cleans our showers, toilets and floors.

The day before she cleans, I change the tablecloth, clean out the kitty tray and wheel the bins out for collection. The cleaner brings them in for us.

Every morning I run the Roomba to pick up crumbs and cat's fur. Then with my spoons almost gone, I lay on the couch and Chris rubs my feet to get the lymph fluid off my ankles. And I sleep.

I refuse to feel guilty for needing to sleep or for keeping my swollen legs and feet elevated. I am doing the best that I can.  I am not lazy, just a worn out old Sacrificial Home Keeper trying to get back to basics.

All things considered

 

These last few weeks have been horrid. My fatigue and pain levels were so high that I had to have Prednisolone to bring down the inflammation from my Polymyalgia Rheumatica and fibromyalgia.

I have been so fatigued that I  have to have a nana nap after breakfast. Without it I can't even function. So I have had to just do the basics to keep our home clean and keep us watered and fed.

My doctor retested me for Lupus and glandular fever even though it came back negative she discovered that I now have stage 3 kidney failure.

She is going to send me to a nephrologist after I have a KUB scan.

I am able to sit here on the computer for the first time in weeks but I have very little spoons still. With my kidneys failing it is not likely to improve much in the near future.

We have to keep a lookout on my kidneys, blood pressure and diabetes. To that end, I have started a new diabetic medication, Jardiance which is more kidney/heart friendly.

Today I have started to slowly wean off the Prednisolone which not only will help my sugars but my weight. It has been a struggle to keep from adding more pounds due to hunger from the steroids.

My pain tonight is not too severe considering I am decreasing the steroids and this is a good start, all things considered...

PS the Jardiance had to be discontinued. It caused me to develop a severe Urinary Tract Infection.

                                   

Pass the onions

So as you know, I am currently on Prednisolone for my polymyalgia rheumatica. Predictably, my blood sugars have skyrocketed because of the steroids.

As I was reading my FB, a reel came up about bringing blood sugar down by eating onions. So I prepared this drink and it was too vile for me to take.

As I had boiled a lot of onions, I added some seasonings and drained them and ate them

Fastforward to evening when I take my sugars and inject my insulin, I firstly noticed that my finger sprayed blood in a fine spotted spray. I thought how thin my blood must be.

Secondly, when I took my sugars, to my surprise they were in single figures after double all day...

So I have made a decision to eat more onions to reduce my sugar readings and keep my blood thin...

I will be using insulin of course, but if my sugars spike especially after taking Prednisolone, I will be asking Chris to pass the onions...

Thank You Lord, for the blessings.

 

So we found out today that  the house has been sold  to an investor.

Apparently we will be able to stay as tenants. To say we are relieved is an understatement.

We are so grateful to the LORD for allowing us to stay. He has answered our prayers.

We are both not in good shape to cope with a move. Chris with his stroke and me with fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica flaring together..

At the moment, I am still not quite believing this good news... after weeks of uncertainty, it is such a change to relax.

I am so attached to this house.. I have finally unpacked my emotional suitcase so to speak. That rarely happens when you are constantly renting.

Just savouring a cup of tea with my cat by my side, I realise how very very blessed we are.

We would have somehow managed a move- you do what you have to do- but to be able to stay and not have to do anything except pay the rent to a different landlord is a blessing that will go on giving.

Thank You LORD, for the blessings.

Spring cleaning: one spoon at a time!

 

My blogging friend, Paula Short has written a wonderful post that may help other Sacrificial Home Keepers...

Spring Cleaning Small Spaces: A Gentle Guide for Those Navigating Chronic Illness or Aging

The warmth of spring is in the air, bringing with it a sense of renewal and often, the deep-seated desire to “spring clean.” But for those of us living in smaller spaces, especially when managing a chronic illness or navigating the realities of aging, this annual tradition can feel like an impossible mountain to climb. 

The good news is that with a bit of strategy, a change in perspective, and a whole lot of self-compassion, you can achieve a refreshing, revitalized home – one baby step at a time.

This post is for you – the warrior managing fatigue, the grandparent wanting to clear clutter for safety, and anyone who feels the “itch” to renew their space but needs a realistic approach. Let’s find a way to breathe fresh air into your home, together.   Read her article here...

Spoons and grace and a lighter load.