Monday, 20 September 2021

Hear me roar

So I have a bad habit of leaving my dishes until I feel like doing them. This is a big mistake because we all know that they multiply overnight and in the morning you cannot find the spoons to do them. So you don't.

Eventually you run out of dishes and knives and forks and of course, pots and pans. You work harder by having to scrub really dried on food. It's a drag.

So the other day I woke up and decided that this would be the day I washed all those dishes and cleaned my kitchen. With both my knees with meniscus tears, I doubted I would be able to accomplish this.

Anyway, in stints of about 15 minutes each, I managed to knock over the dishes and clean the kitchen. It was a novelty to see the benchtops clear of dishes and I pinched myself to make sure I was seeing the empty draining board and not imagining it.

Life has been tough lately with torn knees, sciatica and fibromyalgia flaring. I haven't been able to stand much and my muscle pain has been horrible. But I did it! 

To 'normals' reading this, you probably will be thinking it's no big deal- it's doing the dishes. But to me it's like climbing a mountain or going on a 30 mile hike. That's how my body reacts.

To my Sacrificial Home Keeping Sisters, you will be rejoicing with me because you know how even a seemingly small task can feel like a marathon.

It was a marathon and I won! you can't believe how extremely proud of myself I am feeling right now. And relieved. It's nice to prepare a meal in a well organised and clean kitchen. 

I am savouring the moment and don't care if you are laughing at me! I can do anything! 

I am woman-hear me roar! 

Monday, 13 September 2021

Finding beauty in a horrid day

I had trouble waking up this morning. My fibromyalgia has made me feel like I have been run over by a truck. However the day has not been a total loss.

I did a load of washing and now have to put it all away. I am not sure if I have enough spoons left for that because I also washed a whole stack of dishes and I am not sure if I have enough energy left to cook. 

I am still in my PJ's. I just might need to take a nana nap or rest at "the beach" so I can recharge. We will see...

The weather has been nice today and I left the back door open and listened to the birds and the stream running. The sun was shining on the water and the birds were calling and coming down to eat the seed and watermelon I left on the back porch for them.

It's important to try to find something lovely in every day, no matter how bad our fibromyalgia is to bring a balance of goodness and beauty in an otherwise horrid day.

Wednesday, 8 September 2021

Of birds and sunshine


It's Wednesday morning here. I have gotten up early because I have to repack a smart TV that was delivered and it wasn't what we ordered. Chris will then take it to the Post Office and send it back. Then we will get a refund.

After that we have to go to the chemist and get some scripts made up. It's pretty ordinary stuff, but it's a half hour drive and with lockdown still enforced here, it's an outing. We are going stir crazy! Getting supplies and medication is legal, so we don't have to worry about being fined $5000 AUD. The fines have been increased because there are many people going about and ignoring lockdown. I guess they are over it too, but it is what it is.

I have last night's dinner dishes to do before we go anywhere. Due to having no spoons, (energy) I will take my shower before bed. The weather's supposed to be nice today and I am looking forward not only to the drive, but sitting in my walker on the back porch and watching the birds. The sun might help me with my fibromyalgia pain in the neck and shoulders. Along with the pain killers I will pick up from the chemist today.

There's nothing like sunshine and bird watching to chase the blues away.

Tuesday, 7 September 2021

It's like a fridge in here tonight.


We are just into the seventh day of Spring and I am so glad to see the back of our winter. This house is old and has no insulation and I feel the cold real bad with watered down blood. Chris laughs at me, saying that Australian winters are mild and don't last long. 

I have no desire to live in England or anywhere that has long dark winters and snow. We average out no lower than 1C or 33.8F though we did see -1C a few mornings. As nice as snow looks, you can be sure I won't be joining in making snowmen!

Although changing weather effects my fibromyalgia, I still enjoy the different seasons in each day of Spring and autumn. And I just adore the smell of early spring mornings and the abundant blossoms on our neighbour's tree overhanging the fence. It's such a pretty pink and when it loses its leaves, it leaves a pink carpet all over the lush green of our grass.

With some Spring  mornings and evenings still being cold, I am looking to buy a heater for my study. I am sitting here with a wheat pack on my chest to warm me up!  It's like a fridge in here tonight.

Sunday, 5 September 2021

We are very flexible!

I got up early and stripped our beds and emptied the waste baskets in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. I washed the dishes and Chris dried them and put them away. I got that load of sheets done and in the dryer. 

Our friendly cleaner opted to come today as tomorrow she's having her second Covid jab. Hence the early morning organising of the house for her to clean. 

With us at this stage of our life, every day is the same! We are very flexible- with plans that is: with joints and so on- not so much! 

Saturday, 4 September 2021

Sacrificial home keeping's sorted

Today I managed to finish washing the dishes- I have been doing them in short bursts as I can't stand long. 

I managed to take a shower this morning and I had to rest a bit after it. But it was good! The water relieved some of my muscle pain from my fibromyalgia.

I rang my friendly housecleaner and offered her some extra money if she would regularly change both our beds each fortnight. Even though due to illness, we have separate rooms now, the beds still need changing fortnightly. I can no longer do it. She's agreed to do that, so that's a load off my mind. 

We had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, but Chris didn't feel well enough to drive and I can't, so we changed to a phone consult. I got some scripts for pain relief and discussed Chris' diabetes woes. I will be giving him 34 units twice a day from today instead of the 32. Plus there's a new injection for once a week we must start tomorrow.  

I will be sitting outside for a bit today as the weather is supposed to be nice. It will seem better now that the  sacrificial home keeping has been sorted! 

Wednesday, 1 September 2021

Life is good in spite of setbacks

I am trying to keep up with my home making duties. I have to do some dishes and clean my kitchen.. My knees are paining me so much today, that I won't be able to do much more. 

Fibromyalgia is back again and spoons are scarce. I am also psyching myself up to take a shower. Lucky we have a shower chair now. Funny how you don't think twice about it until chronic illness comes a'callin! 

With the brain fog, I get side tracked often too. Now I ask Siri to remind me to change the loads of washing over from washer to dryer. I need to find an app to tell me I have left stuff out that should go in the fridge or that I have nuked a night time snack and find it in the microwave in the morning hahaha

I am planning  on using  my slow cookers  a lot today.  I will be slow cooking the pork chops in a sweet curry sauce with  the rice.  I will be making some Jewish Penicillin in another slow cooker  and I will make  a chow mein in the other slow cooker for tomorrow.

After that, I plan to feed the birds and watch them eat...  sitting out on the porch under the apple blossoms on the neighbour's tree... it's the first day of Spring here in  Australia. Life is good in spite of setbacks..

Tuesday, 31 August 2021

Not as I appear

We chronically ill women try so hard to do "normal" things. Like look well. Be cheerful. Be patient. Kind. Hospitable.

Our family and marriage are our first priority after God. We try so hard to spin our wheel not fast- but at a "normal" pace. By "normal", we compare ourselves to those who do not suffer from chronic illness and pain. Or are disabled.

We are very careful to keep serving our family but sometimes with the illness that afflicts us: we fail. This often gets to us and causes us to sink into depression.

Being unable to process that we simply can't act as "normals", we often berate ourselves and sink into the Pit of Despair. 

We are often judged by "normal" standards, as we simply cannot attend certain social functions like before. If we do, the pain and effort can make us tense and we can make us appear moody unsociable grumps aka the death head at the feast. 

If only "normals" would realise that we are pushing ourselves every day to live a life that not even closely is "normal" like in the days before our health failed. We get so adept at doing this, that we have become quite good at wearing masks to cover the Mask Of Pain. Hence the appearance of being in a mood. 

My fibromyalgia and other health issues have now made it impossible for me to disguise, and I have learned to acknowledge this to people and tell them in advance that my attendance or action or whatever is totally subject to how I am on any given day.

Basically, I have had to pander to injured knees, angina, spinal problems, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, and submit to tyrannical spoons by being totally flexible about my appointments and so on.

People may still misjudge me but that is not my problem. I just pray that the LORD will allow them to see that I am not lazy or unsociable, but am just a chronically ill woman who finds just breathing some days enough effort.

The LORD knows I am not well, but people take a lot more convincing. I an not as I appear: I am not "normal".

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks    

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  Colossians 3:12

Tuesday, 24 August 2021

If I get those few things done

I didn't get some things done yesterday.  My spoons disappeared and I ended up taking a nana nap to ward off another fibromyalgia flare.

Waking up after a disturbed night's sleep, I realised that fibro has found me again. I have severe pain in my arms and neck as well as a newly diagnosed urinary tract infection. Hence the disturbed night's sleep.

In  spite  of  that,  I have a  few things I would like to do today.  I need to fold washing  which is easy as I can sit and do it. 

As I promised,  I will make some sultana muffins for Chris as I can reach it if I sit at our breakfast bar on the high stools. Same thing for dinner prep. Just a mixed grill for tonight.

Chris is  going to  change  my  bed and I  will wash  the  sheets  and anything  else in the hamper. With  my pain relief making me tired, that will be enough for today and if I get those few things done, I will be very happy.

Monday, 23 August 2021

Living on a wing and a prayer

Before I injured my knee, I bought a food processor and I promised to make Chris some sultana muffins. It arrived Friday and I just unpacked it this morning.

I can't stand on my leg for long, but I think I can manage to reach the processor if I sit on my high barstool which graces our breakfast bar.

Whilst hoping to make muffins for afternoon tea today, I am hoping to make a sweet beef curry in the slow cooker for dinner. It feels good to actually have enough spoons to cook. My fibromyalgia flare seems to have gone.

Later on after dinner, I am going to take a shower as my new shower chair has arrived as well. I should be able to manage if I can sit down. I will time it so that Chris can be nearby in case I run into difficulties.

It was bad enough with a meniscus tear in the left leg without another one in the right now, however life goes on and it is possible to run the house seated. You learn to adapt.

My cleaning lady came today and the house looks nice. I had it tidy before she came so that all she has to do is clean and not tidy everything just so she can start.

I am hoping my knee doesn't require the Tramadol today as it makes me so tired that I won't achieve my goals in the kitchen.

I am mindful of every step I need to take so if I am careful, I should get away with just Panadol or Tylenol.  One thing I can't get away with is a quick prayer as I am literally living on a wing and a prayer.