In the end, we win!

I have been talking to some women who also suffer from fibromyalgia and they have agreed that we sometimes have to set ourselves up to hurt.

If there's somewhere we have to go to and we can't reschedule it, we all have sometimes gone knowing that tomorrow will be horrendous painwise.

The once in a blue moon chance to have beloved grandchildren stay over comes and we often willingly plan to have them, in spite of knowing the consequences for tomorrow. and the next day. and maybe even the next.

Life is unpredictable, and we ill women know that sometimes pushing ourselves to accomplish something vital to our mental happiness, is going to be worth the physical pain it will unleash.

We must live our life even if that means planning to accept the pain. 

In fact, we would do well to prepare for it by planning to cook easy meals for the next couple of days and by postponing as much of our daily housework as we cab for the time being. 

We should make sure we have heating pads, electric blankets, comforting drinks and heaps of paracetamol on hand as well. Maybe some comfort foods like chocolate on hand would be nice. 

When we face the fact that we are most likely going to hurt tomorrow anyway, we might as well bite the bullet and plunge into life head first. We will have happy memories and/or a sense of satisfaction to cuddle up with the next day or two!

We may be setting ourselves up to hurt, but in the end, we win! 

It's enough to drive me to drink!

So Friday I was talking to my new doctor about my back problems and asthma problems, my blood results and consequent treatment. My cholesterol and sugars were good as was my thyroid thanks to Thyroxin tablets. 

My uric acid levels were good, which they should be with me on medications to stop making kidney stones. And the conversation went like this: "Your uric acid level- have you always had high uric acid in your blood? No? well it probably is due to alcohol intake!" "Excuse me? I don't drink alcohol at all!" "Oh really? well- good: good! So it's just in your blood... OK!"

He was running through the blood tests which showed my liver GGT was unusually high. "Why do you think that is, Doctor?" I asked. "Probably too much fat or excessive alcohol intake!" "Ahem- I don't drink alcohol at all!" "Oh, yes. Of course!" 

I do not drink alcohol, but his reaction to my liver problem and high uric acid level annoyed me somewhat. I mean, if it was a problem, I would tell him so instead of worrying myself as to what it is caused by.

My blood pressure was slightly up which isn't surprising when I am meeting a new doctor. Especially one who suspects that his new patient is a drinker of the new wine! or casks thereof! 

So next we had a discussion on which diet program to follow as the fat lady with the drinker's pot belly needs to lose weight.

And right in the middle of a discussion of Keto and diabetes, I stopped mid sentence and lost my train of thought. Embarrassed beyond belief, I told him I was having a bad fibromyalgia day and it was just brain fog!

He just looked at me over his glasses and I could tell what he was thinking... it's too much imbibing of alcohol that does that!... 

Leaving the clinic with a handful of diet pamphlets and scripts, I asked Chris to drive me straight home. 

I headed for the kettle to make myself my favourite beverage- tea. But I swear I was so upset by the insinuations that I cried out to Chris's surprise, "It's enough to drive me to drink!" and it almost is! 

Quite a workout!

So last week we had our little granddaughter Taylah and she and I cooked and baked together. It was fun.

We made a beef stew, baked bread, an apple cake, apple turnovers, icecream and choc chip cookies. The sweets were sweetened with Monk Fruit and I used sugar free choc chips.

I have included the recipe I used for cookies because I will be baking them again. Chris loved them!

Basic Cookie Dough: 1 cup butter, room temperature 1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour. Blend butter, sugar, egg and vanilla thoroughly. Add flour and mix well. 

Slice the rolls into 1-1/8 inch slices, bake at 375*F til done, 5-7 minutes. Touch the cookies with your finger lightly and if there is no imprint left, they’re done. To Use Frozen Dough Without Additions: Defrost dough slightly or completely in the refrigerator. Slice dough into 1/8-inch slices. Bake on ungreased baking sheet 5 to 7 minutes. Test for doneness by lightly touching the cookie with your finger, if no imprint remains, they’re done.

We have been here since Christmas and this kitchen has never been so busy! It is a large kitchen and I thoroughly enjoy working in it!

I had to have a nana nap after a baking or cooking session, but Taylah understands that I need to do that. She even knows what fibromyalgia is which is a blessing.

She stood on the stool, donned in my smaller pair of rubber gloves and washed some dishes while I had forty winks. Smart little lassie knows that not only did my kitchen get a workout; so did her nana!

Spitting chips!

     spit chips: 

slang To be loudly or vehemently angry. Primarily heard in Australia.Everyone's spitting chips over the recent tax law now, but in a month's time, no one will even remember that it happened.

Although I did get out of bed today, I haven't achieved much. I have managed to sort my dishes out from last night and they are soaking in hot soapy water in the sink.

The washing is still in the hampers, glaring at me when I pass them by, ignoring them as I go to the loo. They will keep! 

I have some minced steak thawing on the kitchen bench and I have no idea what I am going to do with it tonight for dinner. Pot luck! 

How I feel is pretty much the same in the graphic here. I am whacked and in pain that makes it hard to sit and talk to you. My neck and shoulders are killing me.

The rain is really heavy and the temperature is cold. Totally to be expected as it's winter here in Australia. And where we are, it even snows! 

My sister and daughter are Fibromites and are suffering as well, so maybe it's the weather changes..

My plans for baking and icecream making went out the window yesterday and certainly aren't in today's plans. Instead, I am here mentally shaking my fist at fibromyalgia and, sad that I can't do the few things I planned for today, I am sitting here, spitting chips! 

Again: it's just the nature of the beast!

Chris is going to help his son with car stuff so I will be home alone today. 

If I have enough spoons, I plan to make no sugar icecream that Karen posted in her vlog, bake a no sugar cake for Chris to enjoy and cook a beef stew for dinner. 

Last night I facetimed my grandaughter, Taylah. I miss her terribly!  Although the children have just returned to school, it will be school holidays again this Friday for two weeks. I plan to have her stay with us for a few days. She's excited too! 

My fibromyalgia is still flaring and my sugars were high today. I think maybe I need a nana nap before cooking... one can never plan anything with certainty. 

That's the emotional downside of fibro... it tries to run our life. I mean, really, is cooking a few things too much to ask in a whole day?

Somehow, with twenty-two years of fibromyalgia, my answer is: sometimes! Yes, it's all about spoons!  

No good whining about it: I've said it before and it's true- it's just the nature of the beast! 

Sparrows kneecaps

The lady the hospital pays for to do housecleaning (for another two weeks) came this morning. I feel so happy with a hand and the house looks lovely. 

I was depressed that I had to resort to getting help, but I still do a lot of chores related to running our home to make me mistress of my house still. So I decided to just be happy and not overthink it.

She made our bed up with a coverlet that was my mother's. I think it looks nice. Finishes our room off nicely.

We bought another fridge and put the older one in the laundry. There's heaps of room there and talking of room, I love that I have a large freezer again. I plan to cook and freeze some meals in advance.

Of course, I will have to pick a day where I have enough spoons. With the fibromyalgia flaring again, it won't be any time soon. I made lamb souvlaki for dinner tonight. 

Helping unpack then move two fridges then repack them has left me bereft of spoons. I am going to bed soon.

Well, I said "helping"- but in reality I just guided Chris around with it. There's no way I could truly help him push a fridge: fibromyalgia has given me muscles the size of sparrows kneecaps! 

Better days ahead!

We are still self isolating. Chris's sugars are slowly improving, as are his ears. I am planning on decluttering our home today as the home help lady is coming Wednesday to do our floors. I am looking forward to that. 

I ordered groceries online last night and they are going to be delivered this afternoon. Chris is the type of guy who could live on meat and two veg- as long as one of them is mashed potato! So that diet is great for his diabetes control. It is easy to do and I have a happy man! 

I ordered lots of frozen veg in packets that you steam in the microwave... and they do potato mash in white and sweet potato.  I usually make a gravy to pour over the vegetables.

With still feeling exhausted with my fibromyalgia flare, I am very appreciative of convenience foods that are still healthy. 

Anyway, with the sugars improving and Chris not so dizzy, I can not only see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I can see better days ahead!

Still the mistress of our home!

Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus. 

My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.

My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.

My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.

Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...

I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70 in a few weeks and is unable to do housework with me.

I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.

As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore. 

So, I am throwing in the towel.... well, mostly. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online),  cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.

In saying I am throwing in the towel, I forgot how much I still will be doing. I guess I will still be the mistress of our home!