Memories of a vintage housekeeper

 

My mother was a good homemaker. Some of my earliest memories were of her hanging out washing on her long line held up by props.  She used to boil up the copper and honestly, she had the whitest washing ever.  She used Rinso to wash the clothes and Lux Flakes for delicates.

When I was really young, we didn't have hot water on tap, so Mum would boil up the kettle, fill the sink- a single sink- and she used a metal cage thing- pictured here with slivers of Velvet soap in it to soap up the water. Steel wool was the go for saucepans and the plates were washed with a foam rubber sponge.

Whilst she was washing the dishes, she would have the kettle on again to rinse them. Then we children would dry them for her. We had metered gas by way of a machine with a coin slot in it in the laundry. When the gas got low, Mum would put sixpence or a shilling in it...

We all bathed daily and our hot water was heated by way of a chip heater over the bath. I can still remember fighting over who was the child who was to be seated under it. It was scary to a kid's mind. In fact, I sometimes still dream of it- making sure the water tap was on before lighting the pilot light.

Pride of place in our living room was the clothes horse aka clothes airer. Mum was very careful to air all our clothes and she spent quite a lot of time arranging clothes on it daily.

Mum had it tough too because we four children were bed wetters. She worked very hard to keep up with it all. 

With all her neighbours finishing their chores by 9am, poor Mum was still washing the sheets. In fact, when they called on her for a cuppa, she would be flustered because she was inundated with work.

Mondays Mum "did through".  She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bath and toilet and ironed. She also polished the linoleum in the kitchen with her Hoover polisher. It was quite a chore, with applying polish, buffing it with the machine then redoing it with the lambswool pads.  Her Monday routine was as regular as the sun coming up in the morning. 

Everyday, she would also make the beds, do her washing, think about what was for tea that night, clean her kitchen and sweep the carpets with a carpet sweeper. Routines were written in stone.

Mum didn't have a car, in fact Dad didn't even have one. She would catch the bus into town and shop for groceries which were delivered to our house. No plastic bags: the bags were brown paper...

I remembered how hard she worked the day I held her gnarled hand as she passed. She certainly loved her home and family... 

I am so glad that God honours the hardworking woman. In writing her eulogy, I included that well-known and loved verse from Proverbs 31 and when it was read, everyone of us nodded our heads in agreement and acknowledgement. She was blessed. 

Memories of a well kept house we were never ashamed to call home will always be dear, along with the memories of a tired but diligent homemaker and her wonderful serving of our family, and then her  second husband's. 

Yes, they're happy memories of a vintage housekeeper

It is what it is! indeed!

 

In my efforts to still be mistress of my home in spite of severe health issues, I have tried to pare down my necessary daily tasks.

I can forgo doing the washing for a day or two. I can not make my bed or do much cleaning. But every single day I find I must cook, which is a necessity that brings the second necessity of the day: doing the dishes.

Oh I have left them before during a fibromyalgia flare. But I have learned that they seem to multiply like rabbits- my kitchen sink and bench are testimony to this!

I have left the dishes until the morning or even until the evening, but the mess on the plates and cutlery makes the job not only labourious, but "yucky". So I have learned to keep abreast of them.

Now I know some people use paper plates to avoid doing the dishes, but I am old school. Besides, everything tastes better on a china plate or in a glass or cup. I detest polystyrene cups or picnic cups.

Occasionally during a bout of angina or fibromyalgia or even a day of back pain, I am happy to order take away meals... but it is such a nasty blow to the budget that this is rather rare.

So then I am now convinced that I must acquiesce to doing the dishes daily as we absolutely must eat- there's nothing else I can do about it except cook.

Finding two daily essential jobs wasn't easy because there are so many more things one could count as essential. 

More over, one thing chronic illness has taught me is that spoons dictate not only one's lifestyle but standards.

One can either accept less high standards or die trying to sustain them. And given the effort in just breathing and being some days, the standards become more achievable.

I have had to accept what the young ones say, "It is what it is!"  Indeed! It is! 

A common thread

 

I recently saw this beautiful painting that evoked happy memories of both my childhood and my mothering days.

With a large family of seven to wash for, I usually washed three loads of laundry daily and hung it out.

So many years ago,  and a time when the days were long but the years were short. Now mostly a distant memory. I now longer can hang my clothes out.

Fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica has put paid to hanging the washing on the line. Flexing my sore muscles is so painful these days. I am forced to use the dryer.

I really loved the smell of line dried clothes and delighted in this painting with the children in the yard. 

Hanging the clothes out to me is synonymous with family life. It speaks of service to family, activity and life.

Globally, I think we can all concede that washing on the line is a common thread that unites the human family.

A little time to slumber

                                                

A little time to slumber all my days spent in the sun,

My idle hands were folded my daily chores not done.

I wasn’t at all rebellious as into the sky I’d gaze,

I just left my daily duties as in the sun I bathed.

I read my book for hours dishes soaking in the sink,

The meat still in the freezer for I didn’t stop to think

What I needed for dinner it lay frozen in a lump;

I’d serve meat of something be it chops or steak or rump.

Just a minute of my surfing turned to hours of my day,

As I sat online chatting to people far away.

Imagine then my panic as at last I looked around,

To see the clock now telling  my man was homeward bound.

What a rush of my adrenaline making me quickly scamper

To launder clothes still waiting in the dirty laundry hamper.

The bed was pulled up in a hurry the dishes washed and left to dry,

As I boiled up some veggies and set the meat to fry.

Which would likely take forever for it hadn’t completely thawed

And I so wanted dinner ready as soon as my man hit the door.

Feeling very guilty as I served our dinner late
I decided my many forums would henceforth have to wait.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep; so shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man” Proverbs 24:34

My Cleaning Schedule

           

As you know, I have now been approved for 2 hours of  home help a week. It has been a difficult time lately with a fibromyalgia flare that never seems to end. 

I have my sister here with us for the moment, so having some extra help especially in bedmaking, will help me immensely.

Just keeping the washing up to date, menu planning, cooking, dishes, food shopping, bill paying, and organising medicines for the week and ordering them from the doctor and chemist, is enough for me to cope with.

So this extra 2 hours will help me immensely. Maybe then my fibromyalgia flare will finally go away!

 

WEEK - MEL-6/9/2024

KITCHEN

MY BED AND CHRIS' BED

TOILETS/ ENSUITE

FLOORS

WEEK - TANYA -13/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED

TOILETS/ENSUITE

FLOORS

WEEK - MEL- 20/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED

TOILETS / SHOWER

FLOORS

WEEK - TANYA- 27/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED 

TOILETS / SHOWER

FLOORS

Easy meals for when you can't be bothered cooking

 

We all know that good nutrition is important for our health and the health of our family. But as sacrificial home keepers, cooking can prove to be a big challenge.  Our energy often precludes cooking elaborate meals. We need to find some recipes that our family likes and that won't take a lot of effort and time. Keep it simple.

I am not the worlds' best cook, and it isn't necessary to cook cordon bleu or gourmet food, but it *is* necessary to cook nutritious food..  

It is a good idea to plan a menu: this is something most of us can do even on bed rest. Here are some meals that Chris and I  like that are not difficult to cook and that are nourishing: I have a menu planned for dinner each week. This week it is:

Wednesdays' Dinner:  Corned beef, cabbage, carrot and mashed potato.

Dessert:  Cake or biscuits and tea

***

Thursdays' Dinner:  Roast chicken with peas, sweet potato, pumpkin, onions and potatoes.

Dessert: Instant blancmange pudding

***

Fridays' dinner:  chops, salad and mash.  Buy the salad already washed. You can also purchase frozen mashed potato that is cooked in the microwave and that tastes exactly as if you have done it at home. A little dash of salad dressing and you're done. We like 50/50 balsemic vinegar and olive oil which is just added together and tossed over the salad.

Dessert: a can of mandarins or any fruit with instant custard

      ***

Saturdays' Dinner: fettucine bolognaise with store bought garlic bread.

Dessert:  Icecream and banana

      ***

Sundays' Dinner:  Swiss steak (done in tomato puree), veggies and mashed potato.  The veggies are just frozen ones.

Dessert:  Pancakes from an instant mix: just add water and shake the bottle. I top them with sugar and lemon juice.

    ***

Mondays' Dinner:  Rump steak and veggies and mashed potato

Dessert: Ice cream and kiwi fruit.

   ***

Tuesdays' Dinner:   Chow mein and rice.  This is easy to cook in the slow cooker.  I cook the rice in the microwave.

Dessert:  Tinned fruit and custard

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 

“Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:” Genesis 27:9

Enjoy being at home.

The last few days have seen me taking a renewed interest in cooking and house management.. it's been a time of feeling incredibly blessed.

Our home nurtures us so much. It is so comforting to be here, away from the hustle and bustle of life and just snuggling in  here. 

I have just turned 71 and I can honestly say that contentment and joy have caught me by surprise! 

The longings for adventure and new experiences has waned and I am truly content just following my basic routines.

Fibromyalgia and heart problems dictate my life somewhat and even though spoons are scarce, I still try to keep my home well and I even try to bake bread... this is where spoons and pacing comes to the fore.

In an effort to keep feeling peace in our home, I have stopped viewing news videos regarding the end days and I can say it has worked.

As I work on my computer, I have scriptures or some form of worship music playing. 

I am waiting on the LORD to come for us and while I wait, I keep guard on what exactly comes into our home.

I pray a lot that God will keep me in perfect peace because as the wife in our home, my moods and attitudes shape not only my day, but Chris's

Peace is the first thing to go and it's not necessarily from the words we speak. Attitudes speak volumes.

Our home can be a haven from the world for us and we should try to make it a clean and comfortable place that shields us from the world...  Our home is indeed our haven. Enjoy being at home.

Play it in your own time!

 

As   we shared before, I  am supposed to  be getting help in cleaning our home. But it has turned into a mess  and I  have fallen in  the  cracks.  There was  a woman  who  came for three weeks, but  she was woefully indolent and a liar.

We are paying a co-payment to have her clean for two hours a week and sadly she wasn't worth the money.

For the first half hour she chatted and I had to bring her gently back to why she was here. Then she bustled around and "cleaned" stuff. 

When I say "cleaned" I am being generous. We could see no difference in our home cleanliness even after she was gone.

Chris was ill and in our bed, so I said to her that she needn't worry about changing it this visit. I asked her to pay particular care in the bathroom as it was looking like it needed a good clean. Particularly the bath. And I wanted the vinyl floors washed.

With half an hour to go, she came out and sat on the living room carpet in front of our beautiful backyard and watched the birds and played Candy Crush on her phone.

Knowing that she hadn't done much I asked her if she had cleaned the bathroom and toilet. She nearly shook her head off in affirmation. I had my doubts though.

I asked her if she had mopped the floors and she said "You don't really want them washed today, do you? They still look clean!" 

When her knock off time came, I begrudgingly signed the paperwork, confirming she had been.

Suspicious, I went into the bathroom. There was my hair still in the bath, the cap of the shampoo on the floor of the shower and Chris's whiskers in the hand basin. There was a cotton bud on the floor.

I took a quick look at the toilet too. How can I put this delicately? I can't. There was grunge still at the back of it. So without changing our bed or mopping the floors or doing the bathroom and toilet, she spent a total of one hour vacuuming our very small home. I was angry. I hate being lied to.

That afternoon, I rang my aged home care co-ordinator and told her what had happened. If they couldn't replace her, I would prefer none. I didn't want her back in my house.

So five weeks passed and I heard nothing. Turns out the home care case manager for me has been off for the last three weeks and I have fallen between the cracks.

So when I get someone to help me is anyone's guess. And for me, it can't come sooner. Not that our home looks like a burgler has ransacked it. I keep it tidy and it is always decluttered.

But my home is dirty. As any homemaker will tell you- it effects how you feel. And physically with the fibromyalgia flare brought on by driving a lot last week, it sucks even more.

There's not much I can do but wait again and hope they send me someone who has a decent work ethic.

Though from what I have heard, none of them does a really good job.

But as Sacrificial HomeKeepers know, we have to ditch perfectionism and accept that anything is better than nothing. Except the home carer who used our money to play Candy Crush in my living room. 

She should play it in  her own time!

He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great destroyer. Proverbs 31:9

A permanent thing

 

So I haven't been feeling the love for weeks now. In fact I seem to be enduring the mother of all flares with slight variations on the depth of the flare.

My polymyalgia rheumatica seems to be going but the fibromyalgia pains and fatigue and brain fog are still draining me with their presence.

I wonder when the fibromyalgia pains will abate like my PMR. But they don't. Ever.

So I was reading over the blog trying to recall how long this current flare has been going on, and it was no surprise that it has come hot on the heels of the one before that. In fact, I don't think it ever went.

I got to thinking that maybe they aren't true flares. Maybe it's one continual run of severe pain with only a slightly better day thrown in here and there. But no real breakthrough. It makes sense.

It makes sense that's why I constantly start each day in severe pain and enjoy no spoons to think of because I am in a major flare. One that never goes away.

The only difference between "flares" is that I may have managed to chuck some washing in the machine or put a couple of appliances back where they belong. So I consider myself not flaring.

The only time I get any relief is when Chris rubs my sore feet- and fibromyalgia also is to blame for that, vying with peripheral neuropathy from my diabetes.  I usually fall asleep for a little while.

Sleeping brings no real relief as I wake myself in pain trying to move in my bed. It's a viscious cycle.

I hear so much about having a rest or nana nap when it gets really bad, but any Fibromite will tell you that you often wake up worse than before and your muscles feel like it's early morning again.

If I did manage to get comfortable I think bed could easily become a permanent thing- along with my so called fibromyalgia flares. Because they definitely are for me, a permanent thing...

It's gonna be a PJ's day.

 

The rain is pouring down but it's not cold just pleasantly warm after the last few days of summer heat. Xena is still asleep on my bed.

Chris is watching TV and I have got the breakfast dishes soaking in hot soapy water. The house is tidy and cosy. Life is good.

I woke up early and left Chris to sleep. I heard the birds calling each other and watched as my beloved magpies came down searching for some left over sausage among the rice dish I put out for them last night.

Carefully opening the sliding door that opens to the garden where they congregate waiting for me to feed them, they sat only inches away from me. Gradually they are coming closer to feeding from my hand. 

The washing machine is churning away at the load of clothes I am washing. I try to do a load a day so as not to use up all my spoons in one hit, folding them and putting them away. 

People with fibromyalgia would understand the need to pace oneself in order to achieve some completion of household tasks. There's so much job satisfaction in even doing one load of washing and putting it away. 

I have some steak thawing for dinner tonight. I am planning on cooking a vegetable intensive beef stew.

With the cooler weather and rain, the menu begs for a stew...

I still haven't changed out of my pajamas and it's 1pm but I don't really care. We aren't going anywhere and I am feeling pretty laid back and a tad achy. It's the change in weather.

It was a pretty slow but pleasant morning with Chris making me some breakfast and a cup of tea. The panadol is kicking in helping me with the aches and pains of fibromyalgia that's reacting to the weather change, but I am glad to report that it's not a fibro flare per se.

So in spite of aches and pains, I am feeling pretty good today, but even so, it's gonna be a PJ's day. 

Cooking with fibro plus fibro bloggers' tips!

In trying to come to terms with my sore hands and lack of energy with my fibromyalgia, I have come up with some new tricks to help in cooking meals.

I have gleaned all the catalogued convenience foods available online and I have found some things that I don't have to peel or chop.

Getting my meat already diced and my vegetables pre-cut and peeled is more expensive, but if it means that we can still enjoy nutritious meals, then so be it.

My freezer has diced onions, pumpkin pieces, diced carrots, broccoli and florets of cauliflower as well as pre-cut chicken, stewing steak that has been diced and diced bell peppers. I no longer peel and chop and mash potatoes, but I use the frozen potato with butter added. It is worth the expense.

I have a jar of minced garlic so that I don't have to peel the cloves. Our pantry has spaghetti, penne and rice that cooks in the microwave in 90 seconds. I use that because I no longer can hold the colander to drain it. Our fruit is canned as I can't peel apples or oranges.

I keep our butter in a dish in the pantry because I cannot hold the knife to cut through hard butter or to scrape it. My diet lemonades now come in bottles because I cannot manage the pull rings and my tomato sauce is in an easy pour container for the same reason.

I am grateful for anything which will save my hands, like my electric can opener and my dryer as I no longer can hang washing out to dry. You don't realise how hard pegging something on is until your hands are too weak to push on the pegs.

But one simply has to go on and like all good Sacrificial Home Keepers, I do. It just takes a bit more planning and a lot of research to keep at it when you are an old hand in need of new ones.

Here’s what works for my fibromyalgia blogger friends

• Cynthia from The Disabled Diva shares her top tips
• Shelly from ChronicMom blog shares her #1 recommendation
• Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper on tricks to help cooking  
• Mandy and Michele on their preferred medication
• Lee Good, who is discovering what works to help Fibromyalgia at Fibro Files 
• Katie from Painfully Living shares what’s worked for her
• Sue at Rebuilding Wellness blog shares her top tips
• Carrie shares her top tips at My Several Worlds blog
• Bettina shares what works for her in the hope that it will work for you
• Nikki from the Brainless Blogger shares her top tips
• Bethan from Hello Fibro Blog shares what she’s learnt since diagnosis
• Cynthia from My Inspired Fibro Life shares her tips
• Donna over at Fed up with Fatigue writes about the beneficial fibromyalgia treatments she’s used since diagnosis

It was good while it lasted!

So yesterday I woke up without the usual muscle pain and fatigue that characterises fibromyalgia.

I sensed that I had some spoons in abundance and I was in a quandary as to how I could best utilise them without giving myself a flare the next day.

I decided it would be sensible to pace myself which is what I did at first... I say at first because like all good intentions, they can fall by the wayside. And they did.

There was so much I had put on the back burner and left undone. But then it was a long time since I had any energy and to be honest, I was so used to living with chronic illness and fatigue that feeling energised seemed "abnormal"

So I started a load of washing and cleaned out Xena our cat's litter tray. Then I hung out the finished  load of whites... also something I have had to forgo due to no spoons and pain.

I rummaged through the fridge and cleaned out the out of date food. Then, remembering to pace myself, I made a cup of tea for us both and decided we needed some cookies to have for afternoon tea.

After I made a batch of cookies for the afternoon, I brought in my washing. It dried quickly because the weather has been rather warm.  Too warm in fact.

By the time I came back inside, I was wilting. My spoons were dissipating! Quickly! 

My muscles and back started paining me and it hurt to turn my neck thanks to polymyalgia rheumatica.

I left the clothes in the laundry trolley and kissed thoughts of ironing my pillow cases goodbye. I had so wanted to do that too... just one of the jobs that I had to put on the back burner, put back again..

Chris made me a cup of tea and I took some Tramadol. I only use them for top of the range fibro flares and knee pain.

As I sat sipping my tea and waiting for the Tramadol to work, I realised that I hadn't got much done in spite of some spoons. 

Xena had a clean litter tray. We had some cookies to wash the tablets down. The fridge had no science experiments but didn't get a thorough clean. And I hurt so badly for so little! 

If I ever get another day with some spoons, I will not bother to hang the washing out... I nearly always use the dryer since fibromyalgia found me. And I know my poor old broken knees will thank me for not walking so far up the back garden to the line.

I guess I can sleep on unironed pillowcases.. it has been known  to happen! And as the pain relief finally kicked in, I decided that you can't really win with spoons. They are devious little dictators!

Chronic illness is not for wimps and I refuse to give in to depression. I think all things considered, I do a reasonable job of keeping our home nice. 

Still it was great to wake feeling refreshed and alive! It was good while it lasted! 

I am not lazy!

 

So I am often low on spoons and it necessitates a hands on approach. I must pace myself and rest up in the hope that I can find some spoons from somewhere in order to do the needful.

Usually by the end of the day, you will find me resting in my recliner rocker or in bed. Especially when I have a fibromyalgia flare or a bad day with breathing difficulties.

Apart from the usual taunts such as "but you don't look sick" and the need to validate my need for rest, I find that the latest taunt is "you are so lazy!"

But appearances can be deceiving. If I were truly lazy I wouldn't even be resting or pacing myself in order to do a household task or cook a meal. I wouldn't even be entertaining the thought of cleaning or cooking.

People presuming to know my situation are often getting it all wrong.  And it used to hurt. But these days, I have decided to let it run off my back like water off a duck. 

I no longer let those unkind remarks get to me... Chris and I know the truth and that's all that matters.

Like looking well when I feel like death warmed over, resting to enable a task to be done does not mean I am indolent or don't care about my husband or my home.

Taking care of myself in order to take care of others may appear selfish. But nothing can be further from the truth: I am not lazy! 

I'm in love with my new maidservant

As you probably know, I cannot bend anymore. Thanks to back issues and torn knee ligaments, bending is a thing of the past.

I had a front loader and it was so difficult bending to load and unload it that I opted to sell it and buy a top loader.

As I am 4' 10", I have problems getting garments out of large machines, but I need one large enough to wash my doona and pillow in.

I ordered a 8kgs Haier machine and I am so pleased with it. It is large enough to wash bedding and yet small enough that I don't need a step ladder to reach inside it.

Muscle pain from fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica is lessened with washing with this new machine as I am not bending as with the older one or stretching to fetch a left over sock in the tub...

It probably is silly to some people that I post about my new maidservant, but it has saved me quite a lot of pain and expense. To wash bedding, I used to have to go to the laundrymat, which is very pricey these days.

It actually is a thrill to be able to add the leftover facewasher or something into the already started load and I love watching the clothes move smoothly around the tub. Unlike the front loader which just made me ill if I watched it too long...

I didn't realise how much I missed the simple pleasures of watching the clothes come clean. I guess you can say I'm in love with my new maidservant!

More than a place to sleep

 

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in. 

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting. 

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made. 

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.