Play it in your own time!

 

As we shared before, I am supposed to be getting help in cleaning our home. But it has turned into a mess and I have fallen in the cracks. There was a woman who came for three weeks, but she was woefully indolent and a liar.

We are paying a co-payment to have her clean for two hours a week and sadly she wasn't worth the money.

For the first half hour she chatted and I had to bring her gently back to why she was here. Then she bustled around and "cleaned" stuff. 

When I say "cleaned" I am being generous. We could see no difference in our home cleanliness even after she was gone.

Chris was ill and in our bed, so I said to her that she needn't worry about changing it this visit. I asked her to pay particular care in the bathroom as it was looking like it needed a good clean. Particularly the bath. And I wanted the vinyl floors washed.

With half an hour to go, she came out and sat on the living room carpet in front of our beautiful backyard and watched the birds and played Candy Crush on her phone.

Knowing that she hadn't done much I asked her if she had cleaned the bathroom and toilet. She nearly shook her head off in affirmation. I had my doubts though.

I asked her if she had mopped the floors and she said "You don't really want them washed today, do you? They still look clean!" 

When her knock off time came, I begrudgingly signed the paperwork, confirming she had been.

Suspicious, I went into the bathroom. There was my hair still in the bath, the cap of the shampoo on the floor of the shower and Chris's whiskers in the hand basin. There was a cotton bud on the floor.

I took a quick look at the toilet too. How can I put this delicately? I can't. There was grunge still at the back of it. So without changing our bed or mopping the floors or doing the bathroom and toilet, she spent a total of one hour vacuuming our very small home. I was angry. I hate being lied to.

That afternoon, I rang my aged home care co-ordinator and told her what had happened. If they couldn't replace her, I would prefer none. I didn't want her back in my house.

So five weeks passed and I heard nothing. Turns out the home care case manager for me has been off for the last three weeks and I have fallen between the cracks.

So when I get someone to help me is anyone's guess. And for me, it can't come sooner. Not that our home looks like a burgler has ransacked it. I keep it tidy and it is always decluttered.

But my home is dirty. As any homemaker will tell you- it effects how you feel. And physically with the fibromyalgia flare brought on by driving a lot last week, it sucks even more.

There's not much I can do but wait again and hope they send me someone who has a decent work ethic.

Though from what I have heard, none of them does a really good job.

But as Sacrificial HomeKeepers know, we have to ditch perfectionism and accept that anything is better than nothing. Except the home carer who used our money to play Candy Crush in my living room. 

She should play it in  her own time!

He who is slothful in his work is a brother to him who is a great destroyer. Proverbs 31:9

A permanent thing

 

So I haven't been feeling the love for weeks now. In fact I seem to be enduring the mother of all flares with slight variations on the depth of the flare.

My polymyalgia rheumatica seems to be going but the fibromyalgia pains and fatigue and brain fog are still draining me with their presence.

I wonder when the fibromyalgia pains will abate like my PMR. But they don't. Ever.

So I was reading over the blog trying to recall how long this current flare has been going on, and it was no surprise that it has come hot on the heels of the one before that. In fact, I don't think it ever went.

I got to thinking that maybe they aren't true flares. Maybe it's one continual run of severe pain with only a slightly better day thrown in here and there. But no real breakthrough. It makes sense.

It makes sense that's why I constantly start each day in severe pain and enjoy no spoons to think of because I am in a major flare. One that never goes away.

The only difference between "flares" is that I may have managed to chuck some washing in the machine or put a couple of appliances back where they belong. So I consider myself not flaring.

The only time I get any relief is when Chris rubs my sore feet- and fibromyalgia also is to blame for that, vying with peripheral neuropathy from my diabetes.  I usually fall asleep for a little while.

Sleeping brings no real relief as I wake myself in pain trying to move in my bed. It's a viscious cycle.

I hear so much about having a rest or nana nap when it gets really bad, but any Fibromite will tell you that you often wake up worse than before and your muscles feel like it's early morning again.

If I did manage to get comfortable I think bed could easily become a permanent thing- along with my so called fibromyalgia flares. Because they definitely are for me, a permanent thing...

It's gonna be a PJ's day.

 

The rain is pouring down but it's not cold just pleasantly warm after the last few days of summer heat. Xena is still asleep on my bed.

Chris is watching TV and I have got the breakfast dishes soaking in hot soapy water. The house is tidy and cosy. Life is good.

I woke up early and left Chris to sleep. I heard the birds calling each other and watched as my beloved magpies came down searching for some left over sausage among the rice dish I put out for them last night.

Carefully opening the sliding door that opens to the garden where they congregate waiting for me to feed them, they sat only inches away from me. Gradually they are coming closer to feeding from my hand. 

The washing machine is churning away at the load of clothes I am washing. I try to do a load a day so as not to use up all my spoons in one hit, folding them and putting them away. 

People with fibromyalgia would understand the need to pace oneself in order to achieve some completion of household tasks. There's so much job satisfaction in even doing one load of washing and putting it away. 

I have some steak thawing for dinner tonight. I am planning on cooking a vegetable intensive beef stew.

With the cooler weather and rain, the menu begs for a stew...

I still haven't changed out of my pajamas and it's 1pm but I don't really care. We aren't going anywhere and I am feeling pretty laid back and a tad achy. It's the change in weather.

It was a pretty slow but pleasant morning with Chris making me some breakfast and a cup of tea. The panadol is kicking in helping me with the aches and pains of fibromyalgia that's reacting to the weather change, but I am glad to report that it's not a fibro flare per se.

So in spite of aches and pains, I am feeling pretty good today, but even so, it's gonna be a PJ's day. 

Cooking with fibro plus fibro bloggers' tips!

In trying to come to terms with my sore hands and lack of energy with my fibromyalgia, I have come up with some new tricks to help in cooking meals.

I have gleaned all the catalogued convenience foods available online and I have found some things that I don't have to peel or chop.

Getting my meat already diced and my vegetables pre-cut and peeled is more expensive, but if it means that we can still enjoy nutritious meals, then so be it.

My freezer has diced onions, pumpkin pieces, diced carrots, broccoli and florets of cauliflower as well as pre-cut chicken, stewing steak that has been diced and diced bell peppers. I no longer peel and chop and mash potatoes, but I use the frozen potato with butter added. It is worth the expense.

I have a jar of minced garlic so that I don't have to peel the cloves. Our pantry has spaghetti, penne and rice that cooks in the microwave in 90 seconds. I use that because I no longer can hold the colander to drain it. Our fruit is canned as I can't peel apples or oranges.

I keep our butter in a dish in the pantry because I cannot hold the knife to cut through hard butter or to scrape it. My diet lemonades now come in bottles because I cannot manage the pull rings and my tomato sauce is in an easy pour container for the same reason.

I am grateful for anything which will save my hands, like my electric can opener and my dryer as I no longer can hang washing out to dry. You don't realise how hard pegging something on is until your hands are too weak to push on the pegs.

But one simply has to go on and like all good Sacrificial Home Keepers, I do. It just takes a bit more planning and a lot of research to keep at it when you are an old hand in need of new ones.

Here’s what works for my fibromyalgia blogger friends

• Cynthia from The Disabled Diva shares her top tips
• Shelly from ChronicMom blog shares her #1 recommendation
• Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper on tricks to help cooking  
• Mandy and Michele on their preferred medication
• Lee Good, who is discovering what works to help Fibromyalgia at Fibro Files 
• Katie from Painfully Living shares what’s worked for her
• Sue at Rebuilding Wellness blog shares her top tips
• Carrie shares her top tips at My Several Worlds blog
• Bettina shares what works for her in the hope that it will work for you
• Nikki from the Brainless Blogger shares her top tips
• Bethan from Hello Fibro Blog shares what she’s learnt since diagnosis
• Cynthia from My Inspired Fibro Life shares her tips
• Donna over at Fed up with Fatigue writes about the beneficial fibromyalgia treatments she’s used since diagnosis

It was good while it lasted!

So yesterday I woke up without the usual muscle pain and fatigue that characterises fibromyalgia.

I sensed that I had some spoons in abundance and I was in a quandary as to how I could best utilise them without giving myself a flare the next day.

I decided it would be sensible to pace myself which is what I did at first... I say at first because like all good intentions, they can fall by the wayside. And they did.

There was so much I had put on the back burner and left undone. But then it was a long time since I had any energy and to be honest, I was so used to living with chronic illness and fatigue that feeling energised seemed "abnormal"

So I started a load of washing and cleaned out Xena our cat's litter tray. Then I hung out the finished  load of whites... also something I have had to forgo due to no spoons and pain.

I rummaged through the fridge and cleaned out the out of date food. Then, remembering to pace myself, I made a cup of tea for us both and decided we needed some cookies to have for afternoon tea.

After I made a batch of cookies for the afternoon, I brought in my washing. It dried quickly because the weather has been rather warm.  Too warm in fact.

By the time I came back inside, I was wilting. My spoons were dissipating! Quickly! 

My muscles and back started paining me and it hurt to turn my neck thanks to polymyalgia rheumatica.

I left the clothes in the laundry trolley and kissed thoughts of ironing my pillow cases goodbye. I had so wanted to do that too... just one of the jobs that I had to put on the back burner, put back again..

Chris made me a cup of tea and I took some Tramadol. I only use them for top of the range fibro flares and knee pain.

As I sat sipping my tea and waiting for the Tramadol to work, I realised that I hadn't got much done in spite of some spoons. 

Xena had a clean litter tray. We had some cookies to wash the tablets down. The fridge had no science experiments but didn't get a thorough clean. And I hurt so badly for so little! 

If I ever get another day with some spoons, I will not bother to hang the washing out... I nearly always use the dryer since fibromyalgia found me. And I know my poor old broken knees will thank me for not walking so far up the back garden to the line.

I guess I can sleep on unironed pillowcases.. it has been known  to happen! And as the pain relief finally kicked in, I decided that you can't really win with spoons. They are devious little dictators!

Chronic illness is not for wimps and I refuse to give in to depression. I think all things considered, I do a reasonable job of keeping our home nice. 

Still it was great to wake feeling refreshed and alive! It was good while it lasted! 

I am not lazy!

 

So I am often low on spoons and it necessitates a hands on approach. I must pace myself and rest up in the hope that I can find some spoons from somewhere in order to do the needful.

Usually by the end of the day, you will find me resting in my recliner rocker or in bed. Especially when I have a fibromyalgia flare or a bad day with breathing difficulties.

Apart from the usual taunts such as "but you don't look sick" and the need to validate my need for rest, I find that the latest taunt is "you are so lazy!"

But appearances can be deceiving. If I were truly lazy I wouldn't even be resting or pacing myself in order to do a household task or cook a meal. I wouldn't even be entertaining the thought of cleaning or cooking.

People presuming to know my situation are often getting it all wrong.  And it used to hurt. But these days, I have decided to let it run off my back like water off a duck. 

I no longer let those unkind remarks get to me... Chris and I know the truth and that's all that matters.

Like looking well when I feel like death warmed over, resting to enable a task to be done does not mean I am indolent or don't care about my husband or my home.

Taking care of myself in order to take care of others may appear selfish. But nothing can be further from the truth: I am not lazy! 

I'm in love with my new maidservant

As you probably know, I cannot bend anymore. Thanks to back issues and torn knee ligaments, bending is a thing of the past.

I had a front loader and it was so difficult bending to load and unload it that I opted to sell it and buy a top loader.

As I am 4' 10", I have problems getting garments out of large machines, but I need one large enough to wash my doona and pillow in.

I ordered a 8kgs Haier machine and I am so pleased with it. It is large enough to wash bedding and yet small enough that I don't need a step ladder to reach inside it.

Muscle pain from fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica is lessened with washing with this new machine as I am not bending as with the older one or stretching to fetch a left over sock in the tub...

It probably is silly to some people that I post about my new maidservant, but it has saved me quite a lot of pain and expense. To wash bedding, I used to have to go to the laundrymat, which is very pricey these days.

It actually is a thrill to be able to add the leftover facewasher or something into the already started load and I love watching the clothes move smoothly around the tub. Unlike the front loader which just made me ill if I watched it too long...

I didn't realise how much I missed the simple pleasures of watching the clothes come clean. I guess you can say I'm in love with my new maidservant!

More than a place to sleep

 

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in. 

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting. 

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made. 

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.

We're going for a run

As you know, I have had to resort to using a wheelchair when I go out.  It is not something I am happy about, but it is a necessary part of adapting to my new normal.

Along with walking, there are a few other things I have had to adapt to as well. 

I sit on my shower seat. When I get out, I sit down again and dry off. That's about all the time I can stand.

Most times, Chris stacks and unstacks the dishwasher and this has stopped me having to stand and bend.

I always use the dryer even in good weather. I miss the smell of sun-dried clothes, but it is what it is.

I do make my bed for company, but even so it is just pulled up quickly, nothing fancy. I can't stand to tuck it in and I can't bend either...

With the ageing Australian Government Package, I have a support worker come every two weeks. She changes our beds.

Also within this Home Care Package, I can order ready cooked frozen dinners from Lite N Easy. The meals are designed by a dietitian and cooked by a chef. They are quite delicious and save me from having to stand to cook and I know we are eating well.

I am grateful for all this as it allows me to still be mistress of my home in spite of illness, pain and disability. But even so, I find myself longing for the soon rapture of the Church.

It will be so glorious to not only see my Saviour, but to be able to breathe easily, feel joy and go for a run...

Not falling off the vine

 

Since turning 70 last May, I have noticed a rapid decline in our health. Heart issues are worsening, pains are hurting, fibromyalgia is making spoons are scarce and my mood is darkening.

We both are enjoying the peace in our home that has been jealously guarded and nurtured. Quite simply, we cannot cope with other's dramas.So much so that we have become reclusive.

The days when we don't have to leave our home are cherished days. And even though we make a point to get dressed each morning, we are not adverse to having a couple of Pajama Days occasionally.

In short, we are wearing out. Physically, mentally and emotionally, we are spent. I can say that we aren't spiritually spent because we pray and worship a lot. It does help.

I have been posting a little spasmodically because of excessive fatigue, and I have decided that from tomorrow onward, I will post in a diary form recording bloods, blood pressure and so on. Plus anything else the LORD puts on my heart.

Today is Sunday and I have just done the least I can do to keep our home manageable. With the fatigue being bad and no spoons, I took a nana nap and it turned into a grandma nap. Three hours.

But I woke up and felt a bit better and managed to fold some clothes that had spent their new clean life in the laundry basket...

Anyway, I had a comforting thought which I will share: there's an old saying that the aged say... "I am so ripe that I am falling off the vine!" Not very comforting. 

But the next thought was comforting- physically, yes I am- but spiritually, not so. Instead I am grafted into the Vine- Jesus and He sustains me and gets me through this painful path called life...

So, with His help, I am definitely not falling off the vine! 

Hear me roar

So I have a bad habit of leaving my dishes until I feel like doing them. This is a big mistake because we all know that they multiply overnight and in the morning you cannot find the spoons to do them. So you don't.

Eventually you run out of dishes and knives and forks and of course, pots and pans. You work harder by having to scrub really dried on food. It's a drag.

So the other day I woke up and decided that this would be the day I washed all those dishes and cleaned my kitchen. With both my knees with meniscus tears, I doubted I would be able to accomplish this.

Anyway, in stints of about 15 minutes each, I managed to knock over the dishes and clean the kitchen. It was a novelty to see the benchtops clear of dishes and I pinched myself to make sure I was seeing the empty draining board and not imagining it.

Life has been tough lately with torn knees, sciatica and fibromyalgia flaring. I haven't been able to stand much and my muscle pain has been horrible. But I did it! 

To 'normals' reading this, you probably will be thinking it's no big deal- it's doing the dishes. But to me it's like climbing a mountain or going on a 30 mile hike. That's how my body reacts.

To my Sacrificial Home Keeping Sisters, you will be rejoicing with me because you know how even a seemingly small task can feel like a marathon.

It was a marathon and I won! you can't believe how extremely proud of myself I am feeling right now. And relieved. It's nice to prepare a meal in a well organised and clean kitchen. 

I am savouring the moment and don't care if you are laughing at me! I can do anything! 

I am woman-hear me roar! 

When the spoons are gone forever

 

The Australian government allocates $53,000 pa in a care plan to try to keep aging people in  their own home if possible. It works out cheaper than putting them into a nursing home. I am so grateful to live here where there's help because aging is no fun!

A lot of oldies here have to sell their home to get into a nursing home and/or have their aged pensions garnished. Chris and I have absolutely no assets to garnish and the Aged Care Package here is means tested.  

We rely on the Aged pension and that is all we have... so we qualified. 

We have worked hard in our lifetime, managed our homes, worked outside the home, brought up our children and possibly, even grandchildren. Now we find either that our spouse has passed away or is also suffering the effects of old age and cannot help up either.

There's no shame in asking for help. Even Sacrificial Home Keepers eventually run out of spoons and they are gone forever.

Help until He comes

Today was a busy day in that I was organising aged care help for Chris and I ... we arent coping all that well... lots of phone calls that had me on hold for at least an hour each 

After nearly a whole day on the phone, I am happy to report that we were approved for help. Our aged care home package will start in 3-4 weeks. It includes transport, home maintenance, podiatry, and grass cutting. Later on as we get older it will include meals on wheels... but as long as I can cook, we would prefer our own cuisine. 

I am hoping that God takes us Home soon. That is the best thing to dwell on. But meanwhile, while we wait, my house could do with a deep clean, our toenails are feral and we need them properly done. We cant take a bath and we help each other shower but a grip bar and telephone type shower have been promised to us under home maintenance, and that would stop the suffocation feeling of water pouring over our head when we can't breathe at the best of times.. 

We cant drive most times and we will need transport for a personal consultation with our doctor and the help they offer is needed now.  Nothing to do with lack of faith or not watching- but we have to be practical. 

Heart failure is a beast that stalks us both and is a progressive disease. Peripheral neuropathy in our feet and legs is a constant pain that stops sleep.  A physiotherapist may be able to help or offer exercises to alleviate it.. all things that need attention now. 

Including last but not least, changed bed linen that can be done without banging gnarled fingers and hands... and while we look with anticipation and longing to be Home, the daily necessities of life are calling. 

We rely on God to help us and are grateful that He has blessed us with the help we need...until He comes. Our life style is always if the LORD wills.... we consider ourselves blessed that we are eligible for the help that's come our way, until He comes! God willing, it will be soon. But if not, we will be accepting help to keep going until He comes.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

" So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Time on the phone paid off

After nearly a whole day on the phone, I am happy to report that we were approved for help. 

Our aged care home package will start in 3-4 weeks. It includes transport, home maintenance, podiatry, and grass cutting. 

Later on as we get older it will include meals on wheels... but as long as I can cook, we would prefer our own cuisine. 

Once a year someone will come and wash our windows for us. The is all part of the Australian Government's plan to keep seniors in their own home instead of a nursing home.

I had to access three different goverment bodies today via phone with a waiting time of an hour or more, but with the ability to be approved so quickly and for the blessing it will be, the time on  the phone paid off.

 

That to me is true love

 

So I have had such a flare up of my fibromyalgia that I went back to bed leaving a kitchen full of dirty dishes. Dishes that sat on my draining boards and in my sink.

I just needed to recoup some spoons and I was hoping to awake with at least enough to clean my kitchen.

You can imagine my joy and surprise when I woke up a few hours later to find that Chris had run the dishwasher and wiped down my kitchen benches! 

Now those of you who suffer from chronic illness, especially fibromyalgia know that we can become victims of the rollercoaster of emotions. Grateful tears ran down my cheeks and I rushed to Chris and hugged him tightly. 

He was surprised at my emotional response to his help, but it wasn't just a helping hand in home duties. It was a feeling of nurture and love. Especially when he is battling with severe health issues himself.

It was an act that solidified our union as a team, our home as important, and his wife as cherished. And this cherished wife was very aware and very encouraged. Why? you ask. 

Because I know exactly how many scarce spoons it took him to do this. And that to me, is true love.

There'll be no divorce

 

If housework and you were married, there'd be no divorce... it would be a co-dependency relationship though.

You need a clean environment and housework needs to be done! 

The only way I could see a divorce would be if the fictitious fairy godmother were real, and cleaned for us and therefore the codependency would be over.

Housework is something that is never noticed until you don't do it, and it becomes a personal embarrassment when your lack of intimacy with it is noticed... so the desire for constant attention that housework demands is given ones full compliance in order to not be embarrassed... codependency at its best! 

Such is the grip housework has on even us chronically ill fibromites, we will appease it way beyond our comfort zone or we will pay someone to clean for us.

As long as there is a dwelling to clean, housework will partner with us and will turn up on the winning side every time. 

There's nothing like dirty house to bring out our guilt and unhappiness and the heartless housework will  unmercifully multiply its untidiness inducing a desperate response from it. After all, it doesnt care how or who does it... as long as its top dog. 

Fit or not, young or old, you do unwittingly partner with housework the minute you get a dwelling to clean... And the partnership will continue until you no longer dwell there...There'll be no divorce! 

I find that very relaxing

 

If ever a picture epitomises you and your home and lifestyle, it's this one. A lady dressed sensibly and warmly with knitted socks looks out of the window watching the birds feed from the bird feeder. 

Her cats also watch, but with ulterior motives, mentally stalking them as prey. She has a cuppa in her hand and seems wholely relaxed.

Like our home, she has a blanket over her armchair, protecting it from the cats and adding a homely touch.

I would love to visit her home as I feel like we would be kindred spirits...

Anyway, today is the first day off the Prednisolone. I tried to halve the tablets but they crumbled. So I will be going off them cold turkey. I was only on them for four days...

My polymyalgia is improving but I still have a headache. I have just taken some paracetamol for that.

The Roombas have been run, I have pulled my bed up, done breakfast, bloods and meds and a load of washing which is now in the dryer. The weather is lovely today and I really should have hung it outside. But the PMR and fibromyalgia says otherwise, so I will have to listen to my body and just go with the flow.

I have a couple of pork chops on the kitchen bench thawing for tea tonight. I will serve mashed potatoes and a salad with them.

I am going to take the rest of the day easy as I have to pace myself.. fibro is raising its ugly head again.

Meanwhile, I will sit on the couch and let the fresh air fan me as I lay in the sunshine on my couch for a bit.

From my view on the couch, I can watch the clouds and I find that very relaxing...

It still is that for me!

 

Yep, it's still Safeway for me!  With fibromyalgia brain fog and old age, tell me the new name of a place or person I knew, and it is lost forever... they will forever be the name I first called them!

So I had a phone consult today and the doctor wants to wean me off prednisolone after only four days.. it hasnt really done it's job quite yet, so I am going to spin it out for a few more days ...

Today I have washed some minkie blankets off our beds, ran and then emptied the Roombas, cleaned the toilets and ordered online medicines and groceries.I  did some rounds of crochet in between tasks..

Chris loves bangers and mash so that's what I will be doing for tea tonight..

The Prednisolone fills me with fake energy, but I don't care... I will milk this Polymyalgia rheumatica situation for all it's worth!  I know I won't be long on the meds so I may as well turn the antsy feelings for my good...and get the benefit of some pseudo spoons!  

For those who don't know... in Australia Safeway Supermarkets took on the name Woolworths many moons ago: but as I said, it still is that for me!

She's a Diva!

 

I have changed my blood pressure tablets around and take the stronger of the two Physiotens at night and it has helped me sleep better again.

Consequently, I awoke with a few more spoons this morning and I paced myself and managed to catch up on some home chores I was behind in.

It's now evening and I am winding down for the day. 

I managed to fold and put away a weeks' worth of washing which was weighing on my mind. I always meant to get around to it, but fibromyalgia reduced spoons saw to it that I didn't.

Although spent and exhausted at the moment, I have a feeling of accomplishment. I like it. So tomorrow, God willing, I am going to iron my few articles such as our pillowcases and sort out my medicines.

It's going to be cold tonight, so I have already put our electric blankets on. Our cat, Xena has found the warm patch already and is asleep on my bed. It will be interesting  to see if she objects to me slipping in beside her when I retire tonight. She actually tells Chris no when he comes in to say goodnight.

They say cats aren't very expressive, but Xena is! She's also very bossy and fussy. We love her to bits, even if she's a diva! 

I am no longer a bunny!

 

So Easter has come and gone and so have all my spoons! I have been under the weather all over Easter and have a constant fibromyalgia flare, coupled with spinal pain.

With moving the homemaking help for the elderly stopped and it would take a long time to get it all arranged. We have decided to enlist a woman to clean for us fortnightly again.

This lady is very efficient and friendly as well and although we enlisted her for once a month cleaning, the truth is I need her fortnightly. I can maintain our home in between her visits, but with once a month, the house is needing a more thorough clean and therefore took more than the two hours I hired her to clean.

As always, I hate needing to have help these days, and Chris is too unwell to help me. It is what it is..

You would think that with having back pain for forty years and fibromyaglia and angina for twenty, that I would be more gracious to myself. I should be accepting my lot, but being a woman, I still find my perceived worth as a homemaker is dictated by how fast I spin my wheel without help.

So with my 70th birthday here in a few weeks, I am just going to have to accept my handicaps and be merciful to myself.

I should be glad that I have a husband who agrees to hiring help. A lot of women don't. So I will just stop the pity party and enjoy this season where we can afford her...

And also, when she comes, I am not going to clean the house before she comes... I am a  perfectionist, but no longer... where housework is concerned, I will get the help I need. I'm no longer a bunny!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33