I am not lazy!

 

So I am often low on spoons and it necessitates a hands on approach. I must pace myself and rest up in the hope that I can find some spoons from somewhere in order to do the needful.

Usually by the end of the day, you will find me resting in my recliner rocker or in bed. Especially when I have a fibromyalgia flare or a bad day with breathing difficulties.

Apart from the usual taunts such as "but you don't look sick" and the need to validate my need for rest, I find that the latest taunt is "you are so lazy!"

But appearances can be deceiving. If I were truly lazy I wouldn't even be resting or pacing myself in order to do a household task or cook a meal. I wouldn't even be entertaining the thought of cleaning or cooking.

People presuming to know my situation are often getting it all wrong.  And it used to hurt. But these days, I have decided to let it run off my back like water off a duck. 

I no longer let those unkind remarks get to me... Chris and I know the truth and that's all that matters.

Like looking well when I feel like death warmed over, resting to enable a task to be done does not mean I am indolent or don't care about my husband or my home.

Taking care of myself in order to take care of others may appear selfish. But nothing can be further from the truth: I am not lazy! 

Ya gotta laugh

                                             

I got some of things I wanted to do done, but alas, it came with a cost. I have another flare of fibromyalgia.

I can hardly move and hurt everywhere. It doesn't help that we have thunderstorms on the horizon  either. So today I have only washed my dishes and I will cook dinner. It's all I can manage.

All our bedding is washed and dried and when our cleaner comes Monday, she will put more clean sheets on. I just did the minkie blankets and our doonas.

I must say that drying the minkie blankets in the dryer has given them a slightly grey tinge, but they are still soft and smell great. Most importantly, they are clean.

My plan for the remainder of the day is to cook bangers and mash for dinner. I will take some Tramadol because my knees are hurting as well as the usual fibro pain.

Xena was outside for a bit and was attacked by a horrible Siamese cat who stalks her. I ran to help her and damaged both my sore knees. I am in too much pain to get down the steps and walk to the back garden to pick up my slipper that I threw at it. 

That Siamese cat didn't want to budge and would not leave the back garden. He's stubborn and has worn out his welcome. Much like my meniscus pain in my worn out knees: joking.  Ya gotta laugh. 

Hear me roar

So I have a bad habit of leaving my dishes until I feel like doing them. This is a big mistake because we all know that they multiply overnight and in the morning you cannot find the spoons to do them. So you don't.

Eventually you run out of dishes and knives and forks and of course, pots and pans. You work harder by having to scrub really dried on food. It's a drag.

So the other day I woke up and decided that this would be the day I washed all those dishes and cleaned my kitchen. With both my knees with meniscus tears, I doubted I would be able to accomplish this.

Anyway, in stints of about 15 minutes each, I managed to knock over the dishes and clean the kitchen. It was a novelty to see the benchtops clear of dishes and I pinched myself to make sure I was seeing the empty draining board and not imagining it.

Life has been tough lately with torn knees, sciatica and fibromyalgia flaring. I haven't been able to stand much and my muscle pain has been horrible. But I did it! 

To 'normals' reading this, you probably will be thinking it's no big deal- it's doing the dishes. But to me it's like climbing a mountain or going on a 30 mile hike. That's how my body reacts.

To my Sacrificial Home Keeping Sisters, you will be rejoicing with me because you know how even a seemingly small task can feel like a marathon.

It was a marathon and I won! you can't believe how extremely proud of myself I am feeling right now. And relieved. It's nice to prepare a meal in a well organised and clean kitchen. 

I am savouring the moment and don't care if you are laughing at me! I can do anything! 

I am woman-hear me roar! 

The trust is gone!

Just something funny but serious happened here this week. We both have had stomach cramps and the runs and we were questioning what foods could have been responsible. Nothing out of the ordinary was eaten... well, I started using new dishwasher stuff and Chris has been helping me load it. 

Today we were doing it together and I said that it needed more drying aid in the dispenser. So Chris hands me the drying aid...only it wasn't it. It was the dishwasher cleaner... I said is this what you have been using? he said it was... I told him it was the wrong product... his response was but it is blue!.... 

No wonder we were having bad cramps... He needs to get his eyes checked. Seriously! the trust is gone... I will be loading the dishwasher myself from now on.... perhaps that was his plan?! lol

It's coming together!

 

As I told you, I have been trying to get my home back after our move, and so I have also been decluttering. I have given away quite a few things that I found were only taking up space without bringing me joy.

It was hard to give away some things that were my mother's but I bit the bullet and did it. The recipient was so happy that it made me feel good to have been able to bless her!

I put into action Sarah's organic cleaning and threw out those clothes I don't like or fit in to any more, as I hung up clean clothes that had been sitting around for too long! I bought some storage boxes and put sorted underwear and night clothes in them.

That did create some dust but I didn't worry as I have a robotic vacuum. I highly recommend to all Sacrificial Home Keepers that they get a robotic vacuum- preferably one that mops as well as vacuums. They are coming down in price but I assure you, they are worth every cent!

Small steps for sure, especially for those who are healthy, but climbing a mountain to us chronically ill. I am inordinately pleased with what I have accomplished so far! It's coming together, here a little, there a little!

Here a little.

 

So today I woke with no spoons and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. But I really want to start this journey of reclaiming my house, so I bit the bullet and took my first step.

As the kitchen is always the first area that calls for attention, I decided to start there. I had cleaned up last night and only had a few dishes to take out of the dishwasher.All I had to clean up was the breakfast and morning tea dishes.

Fibromyalgia flares see that I simply can't do mornings, and as you can see, I couldn't raise a gallop until nearly lunchtime. All I had managed to do was pull up our beds, put a load of washing in and run my irobot, Sadie.

So by the time I had done the kitchen, it was time for a nana nap as my angina was playing up and I was finding just breathing enough.

So I had a nana nap which lasted a few hours, and I came out again but I still had no spoons to speak of.

My plan was to wipe down the kitchen benches or counter tops and start preparing dinner, but I had to leave it for the moment. Chris made me a cup of tea, we discussed what we would eat tonight and I sat down to talk to you.

I realise most people would say that I haven't accomplished a lot, but believe me, when you wake with no spoons at all, it is a lot. I know the benches need wiping down, but basically the kitchen's clean and I can start on cooking dinner as soon as I recoup.

I don't allow myself to suffer from "false guilt" anymore and I don't allow myself to be dictated to by my OCD perfectionist healthy woman of the past. She doesn't exist anymore. 

Everything we do is kudos to us Sacrificial Home Keepers. We push ourselves to achieve little by the standards of "normals", but to us, we have run a marathon.

So in a minute after I post this post, I will be cooking sweet and sour pork and rice. And then I will pray for enough spoons to see me sort the kitchen out- I hate getting up to a dirty kitchen and if I can do it before bed, it will be a gift from my previous self to my future self.

Tonight is bin night, so I will help Chris gather the rubbish and put the bins out. Come to think of it, they go out more often than we do these days! But it is what it is! With no spoons for both of us, staying home is a pleasure.

Anyway, I have at least achieved something today- working. pacing. resting. planning. It all adds up with here a little, there a little in the daily life of this Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper.

This new quest

So I am just coming back to life after our move. My fibromyalgia is still there of course and so is my tiredness. I am trying to live with constant angina, but I have a new drive to get my house organised and decluttered.

All our boxes are unpacked and stuff is in its place, but there's a need to sort through that stuff and cull it.

Added to that is the desire to keep our new home nice. So I have my hands full, but no spoons.

I am trying to take control of my home- or rather, keep it controlled, but it's going to be a spasmodic deal. It all depends on spoons.

Like I did at the previous house, I have enlisted the help of a cleaner once a fortnight. She changes our beds, cleans the bathrooms and toilets and vacuums and mops the floors.

It sounds like that would be enough, but it still needs cleaning between visits. Thank goodness for my irobot Roomba.  It does a great job in between and I run it twice a day. We've called it Sadie!

To be honest, even without those jobs that the cleaner does, it. is. more. than. enough!

I am going to post pictures of my journey to claim back my house. Mainly for my own records, but you can join me here if you like.

I am going to try my best on this new quest.

 

Cats have never been very considerate

This morning I hit the floor running. Xena woke me with imminent chucks and I shooed her off my bed, but not before she soiled both my minkie blankets. 

She also soiled the carpet in my bedroom. I have the blankets in the wash as we speak. The carpets have been cleaned and sprayed with Glen 20. 

I love her dearly, but often tell myself there will be no more cats when she passes. She's 12 now. We will have to wait and see on that one!  

So far since that, I have folded and put away 3 loads of clean washing, made lunch and cleaned my kitchen.

Tonight I am doing frozen dinners as we had a big lunch. Apart from that, I will be resting as my fibromyalgia is still flaring.

Now Xena is peacefully sleeping in her igloo. It would have been so much more Mummy friendly to have sicked up in that. A simple matter of washing out a little mattress. Still, cats have never been very considerate have they?

Bushed but satisfied.

Today we have no physio or doctor appointments so we can stay home. I am ploughing through 3 loads of washing and I have to clean my kitchen. 

I am cooking a pork stew in the slow cooker. Chris is feeling unwell and is sleeping a lot. I would be if I could with my fibromyalgia flaring, but I am waiting for the cleaner to come.

I have finally found a cleaner who can fit both DD Dianne and my homes in for a clean once a fortnight. They are doing hers at 2pm and ours at 4pm today. 

Although my Roomba is doing a great job, it needs someone to get into the corners it misses so I will ask the cleaner to do that. Basically it's my floors and bathrooms that need cleaning today with the beds changed starting next Wednesday week. 

We only have Chris's "man cave" to sort out now- the rest is done and the place looks nice. We are totally bushed, but it a satisfying feeling to look around and see it all come together.

Stating your name and business

As you know, we have just moved and along with a new home, comes some new things to add to the decor.

Chris and I love this door mat. This verse is one of our favourites and when we saw it we wanted it. It can be personalised to add your family name.

It looks lovely at the front door. We still have pictures to be hung and some flat packs of furniture to make up. The unpacking itself is almost finished.

The plan is to gradually go through room to room and gradually declutter. But this will depend on my spoons. I have another fibromyalgia flare.

But we have been finding that even a concerted effort of 5 minutes at a time followed by a rest and a cup of tea has paid off. Pacing is critical with fibromyalgia and heart failure.

I am in the process of getting an i-Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner to help with the floors. This house is quite large and the passage alone is as long as a cricket pitch...

Neither Chris or I can vacuum these days and I am hoping that the i-Roomba will save on money to employ a helper to come clean the house for me. I will let you know how we go.

Happily, the robotic vac can manage both tiles and carpet without skipping a beat, so it will be able to keep our lovely door mat free of dust bunnies. 

Meant to be noticed, I don't want visitors to our home seeing the mat dirty- not when it's proclaiming our faith and intention of having a holy home. It's all about stating your name and business! 

We really like our new house

 

I pushed myself today to do some work and unpack. I know it's not the best thing I can do with a fibromyalgia flare, but I need to get my home organised. We are about two-thirds unpacked. 

But of course the cooking, cleaning, dishes and washing have to be kept up and I managed to get the kitchen cleaned and a load of washing done. 

My daughter Dianne came home from hospital after her knee replacement. She's doing really well, praise God. 

Chris isn't feeling too great so I have to wait for the heavier things to be unpacked. We really like our new house.

More spoons to enjoy life.

We have just moved and we are both quite tired still. Although the house is functional, there's still a lot of unpacking to do.

This weekend, two of our grandchildren wanted to come see us and give us their verdict of the new house. Knowing that memories are all we will have once they are grown, we agreed to have them.

Although I am suffering from a bad fibromyalgia flare, I got dressed and stayed up in order to spend time with them.

We cooked lunch together and watched family videos of when they were first born and growing up. It was fun but it was also non taxing to my sore body. 

Today I am expecting a lady to come clean for a couple of hours. She did such a good job of cleaning our old house for our bond return, that I asked her if she would like to do a regular clean for us once a fortnight. She agreed.

With my poor daughter suffering from fibromyalgia as well and now living two minutes away, she also agreed to clean her house after ours each fortnight as well.

Both my daughter and I are finding just cooking, cleaning our kitchen, doing washing, grocery shopping, running errands like going to the chemist, planning finances and feeding our pets is enough of a job. We need some extra help.

There's very little help here for chronically ill people who can't do housework. What little we did get has been stopped since a new government has taken over the reins. So we have to pay privately.

I am grateful that I can save enough each fortnight to afford a cleaner's help. It not only keeps my home clean, but gives me more spoons to enjoy life.

 

We just have to embrace it

We have been looking for another house closer to family. We have applied for one yesterday and had a phone call from the real estate this morning which sounded positive. 

Our fiver got to South Australia to its new owner and they rang us to tell us how pleased they were with it. So that's good. 

We are taking our GMC Sierra to the mechanic for a good overhaul Monday and then we will decide what we will do with it. Over here they are seen as a luxury ute and we think a young buck would love it. That's what we are hoping. 

My twin and son and granddaughter continue to recover from Covid but are still very much under the weather with it. 

I am convinced that our prayers have helped keep my twin. She's so many serious health issues such as lupus and I was afraid for her. 

I have done a load of washing, cleaned my kitchen and am about to make some lunch.  I have a flare of fibromyalgia again and my spoons are nearly all gone.  I will be  taking a nana nap soon.

With an imminent move, I am not looking forward to the energy output, however I am looking forward to being nearer family.

I will miss the birds and our feral cat who is gradually becoming less timid as we feed him. We have named him Teddy Bear as his face is surrounded by bushy fur and he is gingery brown and looks like a teddy.

But I know in  life that one rarely gets everything one wants and so we have weighed up staying or moving. We have decided that we want to be closer to family, particularly our daughter who has had leukaemia.

With a bird bath/feeder and garden swing to take with us, we will continue to feed the birds as we watch from the swing in the garden.

It's true what they say: nothing is sure except death and taxes. Life is full of change. We just have to embrace it.

"It is what it is!"

A friend of mine posted this on her Face Book wall and it was so simple and doable that I wanted to share this with you.

My hands are deformed with arthritis and I have little strength in them. Opening these ring pull cans have always been a challenge to me. 

Those cans that need a can opener are  simply not purchased anymore. I cannot use one as the arthritis restricts movement.

My fibromyalgia is paining me today and I didn't sleep well last night, so I will be cleaning my kitchen and psyching myself up to take a shower. That and cooking meals is all I will be doing today.

Meals will be Jewish Penicillin in my slow cooker.

It's not much to show for the vast amount of spoons I will need today, but as the young ones always say, "It is what it is!"

And a good sleep

So recently we have been told that we are low on magnesium and have been taking magnesium tablets. It is about 10 days now that we have taken them and although my muscles still pain me, both Chris and I have had less calf cramps.

I have noticed a deeper sleep for myself, though Chris still has trouble but also reports a more refreshing sleep when he manages to drop off. He has noticed that he has less restless leg at night. Any help is a blessing.

As a sufferer of fibromyalgia, I welcome anything that helps me hurt less and sleep better. As it's early days of taking the supplement, I live in hope that it will get even better in its' relaxing effects.

I know it is improving my sleep already because I usually cannot get back to sleep if I wake up early and it's getting light. But today, I woke up to the grey dawn and decided to try going back to bed after going to the bathroom. I managed to sleep until 9.50am. 

I was amazed by this, but had to have an inward chuckle as today was the day my cleaning lady comes at 10.30 and I hadn't done anything. I still needed to get dressed, take our bloods, give Chris his insulin injection, feed Xena and then feed us.

Usually I pick up any dirty clothes up off chairs in our rooms, stack the dishwasher, and empty rubbish from the mini rubbish bins around the house, plus check Xena's tray is clean before she comes. I don't want her wasting her time on stuff I can do- I want her to focus on what I can't do like washing the floors and cleaning the bathroom.

But today, I managed to tidy up so that the cleaner could just clean- but we still were eating breakfast when she arrived. So because we were late through sleeping in, she was surprised to see us still at the island bench, eating. 

It all worked out well and I am hoping that the magnesium's effect continues. Even if it's ten pills a morning now for us both to take. As long as they make our bodies think we are healthier than we are, it's all for a good cause. And a good sleep.

Take me as I am

Over the course of a 57 year old friendship, I have always made sure my house was clean and presentable when Ann came.  Not that she was judging me at all- it was just how I rolled.

Once fibromyalgia came to overshadow me and steal my spoons over the last 22 years, she and I made a pact that we would visit each other no matter what state our home was in. Or else it would never happen.

As we grew older, we realised that things like neat houses sometimes were very scarce, and we agreed that visiting each other was too important to us than worrying about our homes' presentation. So we chose to each be hospitable and not worry about the extraneous.

Since developing fibromyalgia, I have had to rethink my own standards of cleanliness. My standards now are in order of priority and are non negotiable:

A clean body. 

Clean bed.

Clean clothes.

Clean dishes and kitchen.

Clean toilet and bathroom.

With no spoons during most days of a flare, it has been imperative that I reassess what's truly important in my life. God, family and friends were an easy choice. But not just any family and friends, I prefer kind,  like-minded people like Ann, who just takes me as I am.

We are very flexible!

I got up early and stripped our beds and emptied the waste baskets in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. I washed the dishes and Chris dried them and put them away. I got that load of sheets done and in the dryer. 

Our friendly cleaner opted to come today as tomorrow she's having her second Covid jab. Hence the early morning organising of the house for her to clean. 

With us at this stage of our life, every day is the same! We are very flexible- with plans that is: with joints and so on- not so much! 

My daily homemaking chores

So that we won't live in a pig stye, I try to keep to this schedule no matter how I feel. It is based on Sharon White's Legacy of Home blog.  I often read through this to motivate me, but for really fibro brain fog days, I have highlighted the chores for quick reading. I have modified it a little for my own home...

WAKE UP: BLOODS, JAB AND MEDS FEED XENA

1.  There is the breakfast hour, which includes tea-time. First we prepare the meal and set a table.  I often set up a tray- table and sit in the parlour before anyone else is awake.  I am an early riser so I have my tea while the sun is just beginning to rise.  I enjoy this quiet time of resting from the brief bit of morning work.

Later, when the family has their eggs and toast, or fresh baked muffins with fruit, it is time to do the dishes.   We wash the table and the counters and do the sweeping.   All the work of tidying and making things neat are part of the breakfast duties. 

2.  Often, during the morning hours, we do the laundry or the dusting and vacuuming. Each day has its special work. It may be Wednesday is for washing floors. Perhaps Thursday is for cleaning the bathroom.  The mid-morning hours are a good time for many of us to do these special duties of making a home look pretty. LIST WORK FOR THE DAY

3.  The Lunch hour is such a wonderful time to stop and rest.  We put out a fresh, clean tablecloth.  I love my white-and-teal checkered cloth.  It looks so homey and old fashioned.  We can set up our plates and napkins. We can do this even if we are just serving grilled cheese sandwiches, pickles, and chips!  It makes the lunch - work like a reward when we sit at that pretty table and rest and eat while we enjoy the family.  Next we do the sweeping and the dishes, much like we did in the morning.  

4.  The dinner hour is such a precious time in the day.  I often start working on the evening meal at 3 in the afternoon. I work slowly and take lots of breaks. Sometimes I peel potatoes and start getting a little casserole ready to bake.  Other times I might do much of the work for a pan of lasagna. I like to put these pans of prepared food in the refrigerator and then just take them out to bake when it is just about dinner time.  That way I get a great deal of rest between all the work.  CLOSE THE BLINDS AND LIGHT THE LAMPS.  BLOODS JAB MEDS 

Sitting with the family and hearing the blessing (or the prayer before the meal) is such a peaceful experience.  It is lovely to just sit and enjoy dinner at the end of a long day.  Then the work of tidying, doing the dishes, and sweeping the floor happens.  We make everything look neat and pretty. But I do not like to rush.  I do not want to just "get the work over-with." I take my time and go at a steady pace.  The work of cleaning and accomplishing the beautiful work of making a neat home makes me happy.  It also brings peace. SHOWER OR BATHE 

These four tasks of homemaking do not take a great deal of effort.  They may seem simple and ordinary.  They may seem mundane.  But if we dress up in something pretty, wearing an apron, and keeping our hair up in a pretty style, we may find ourselves enjoying the work.  I have an old blue-and-white gingham apron that I love to wear. It is getting old and ragged. I will have to make a new one this coming fall.  I need a fresh supply of lovely aprons to wear as I do the housekeeping.

When we look extra nice as we do our work, we can find joy in the labor.  Doing the little tasks of keeping house, each day, with a feeling of contentment, will bring a true feeling of comfort and happiness to the family.  It will help them feel welcome and loved in a happy and simple home.

I can't keep doing this to myself!

When I have a bad flare of fibromyalgia and/or polymyalgia rheumatica, I feel so sore and tired that I often let the dishes build up.

We all know that when you put one cup or bowl in the sink, they suddenly start multiplying and pretty soon you have a stack to tackle in washing up.

With Chris quite ill at the moment, I am loathe to ask him to help me so this problem is absolutely on my shoulders alone.

Last week the lady who comes to clean our house once a fortnight, washed and put away my dishes and it was so nice to see an empty sink and find a clean cup without a search party and ensuing  mammoth cleaning marathon.

I was so impressed that I have kept it up, washing up as we use the crockery. In fact, the first day after she helped me, we got up and thought we were in the wrong house! There was a clean sink and kitchen.

It's taken me 52 years of being a home maker to finally realise that by procrastination- I mean of the long duration type, not once in a blue moon- is a killer not only of productivity but peace.

It's been a week now since I have turned over a new leaf and I have found that it is less draining on my energy levels and is achievable.

I know it's only been a week, but for a chronically ill old chook with longstanding procrastination habits, it's a long time.

It probably sounds pathetic to all the "normals" who say, "Well it's only washing the dishes!", but to a spoon challenged tired sick sufferer of continual pain, it's a big deal!

Another plus is that with the kitchen clean, my spirits have been uplifted and I am far more likely to grab the pile of clean washing and fold it. It sort of has a domino effect! 

Whatever, I feel better for the discipline and look forward to waking up to a clean kitchen now. Besides, with the realisation that housework is spiritual, I find I function best in a tidy house and will make every effort to keep it up and not have a mammoth dishwashing session. I can't keep doing this to myself! 

 

A bit of a wash then au revoir!

So today our fifth wheeler is getting cleaned on the inside and after that we are going to take it to get cleaned outside and put it up for sale.

I have mixed feelings about it really. Our dreams of touring round Australia turned to dust when I tore my meniscus in my left knee and since then I have also damaged my right knee. I walk like Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz! 

The RV was well suited to the Fibromyalgia lifestyle as it was small and easy to clean. But after tearing my meniscus, even the two steps to the bedroom and ensuite were too difficult to negotiate. In the end, I was housebound as it has seven steps at the entry.

We haven't thrown out the idea of travelling altogether. Eventually after selling the fiver, we will buy a campervan that is easy for me to get in and out of and go away for weekends. That is the hope anyway.

Today's to do list:

•  I have dishes to do, 
•  make our bed
• fold a load of washing from yesterday.
• Fish, chips and salad for dinner