Stopping perfectionism in its tracks.

 

In my early days, I used to be a perfectionist in my homemaking. I dusted and vacuumed the house every day. Clothes were washed, dried, folded and ironed the same day.

With the advent of spinal problems, kidney stone surgeries, and later heart surgeries, the perfectionism wained.

After my children were grown there wasn't so much work to do. With the advent of fibromyalgia and now lymphedema, I am lucky to be able to stand long enough to cook a meal- let alone iron stuff that nobody sees much now that I am a full- time couch potato! 

In spite of everything and with help from my Home Support Package, my home is still clean and by constant chipping away at tasks, it looks reasonably clean and organised.

I still have pride in a job well done, but the push to produce and the motivation is almost gone.

Illness has a way of stopping perfectionism in its tracks. 

Because of motherly love

 

Life has been tough lately. Fibromyalgia has come with a vengeance as the weather here in Australia is so changeable. It is our autumn or fall.

A Fibromite will tell you that weather effects your pain. Coupled with some family circumstances wherein we now have another person living with us, there's not only more stress but more work.

To make matters worse, my Polymyalgia Rhuematica has returned and my knees go out of joint frequently. Pain is my constant companion.

In spite of this, I try to keep everything up to date, especially the dishes and washing.

Last week I had to cancel our cleaner because I had an urgent appointment, so today I have my Roomba going around.

I have a dryer full of clothes that need to be removed and put away. There's another one to follow.

For dinner I am planning to cook some steak, mashed potatoes with vegetables and gravy. Then it will be another stacking of the dishwasher and a lay on the couch for a while.

Not for the first time, I am glad I don't have little ones to look after now. I don't think I would manage it. It's a young person's game.

Thoughts and prayers go out to the young mothers who have a chronic painful illness. The only concession I used to make was doing my housework in my dressing gown or bathrobe instead of being in bed.

Kudos to all of us who battle on because of  motherly love. You are the true Sacrificial Home Keepers.

I think I've earned it!

 

You may recall I posted about my new wheels- my motorised scooter coming.. well it came this week! 

I have had a burl around the block and am very pleased with it. But I have had problems with health again and it's been hot, so I haven't been out a lot on it yet.

I have been waiting for it since December 11 last year. As it turns out, my case manager for my Aged Care package went on holiday and it was sitting in the warehouse waiting for her to clear it for delivery.

It's no use complaining and I am very grateful that I have it. My knees have been paining me very badly lately and my angina is causing my problems.

Adding having only one functioning lung and a hole in the heart and my swollen legs thanks to lymphedema, I guess I have earned it... lol 

I don't think I would cope!

 

Well, my fibromyalgia flare has abated, and I have been doing a lot of knitting as watching TV bores me to tears.

We are in Autumn or Fall here in Australia and the mornings and evenings are cold, so there's nothing nicer than doing some handcrafts in the warmth each evening and throughout the day.

I have been a bit depressed lately and I think it's because I have been watching too much news on world events. So I decided to turn it off and bring my attention to something positive.

I often listen to the Bible on YouTube read by David Suchet. It tends to put my mind at rest and gives me pleasure.

Most mornings I do breakfast and medications and go on the computer to check emails, answer any comments in my blogs and check out groceries specials and organise our medications and get the scripts that are due, refilled.  Then I tidy my home.

I have a lot of joy in watching the birds that come into our back garden and one of my morning chores is to feed them after I have fed Xena our little white cat... separately of course lol

As I am often low on spoons, I need to pace myself in the afternoon and often take a nana nap in order to be able to cook dinner.

We don't leave the house much at all, and to be honest I prefer it that way. But with my motorised scooter coming soon, I may find I quite like shopping again....

Life is pretty simple- almost boring, but with all that's happening in parts of the world, I am glad for the boring life. I don't think I would cope very well running for my life away from bombs!

Quietly dwelling

  

Next month I will be 72. All things pertaining to ageing are at an all time peak. Everything that can ache, does.

Every day I need a nana nap to get through to dinner time and really there's nothing I can do to change that. I am forced to go with the flow.

I used to buy Lite N Easy food as part of my Aged Care package, but Chris and I have become sick of it. I have no choice but to cook.

As dinner times are when my spoons are usually spent, I sit down at the kitchen table and prepare whatever I can beforehand. Then it's just a matter of cooking some meat and doing some gravy.

Both ageing and fibromyalgia keep me living in pain, but I try to not complain about it too much.

I know at this season of my life that I can take that nana nap when I need to or leave the clothes to be folded another day. Likewise I can go to bed as early as I want... there are no schedules to keep.

Each day brings its challenges but even so, I am glad to be here...life is still sweet!

Even in this quiet season of my life it is very comforting to know that I am just where God wants me to be-quietly dwelling in the simplicity of acceptance and peace.

 

I won't succumb to it...

 

I am currently unwell. My spoons have evaporated and everything that can ache or pain me, is. I am in a fibromyalgia flare.

We Aussies are in to our autumn or fall but the weather has been erratic with many days over 30C or 86F. With lots of rain to make it humid and steamy. It's bad weather for a Fibromite.

We have air conditioning but I have missed being able to go out into our back garden. So with temperatures forecast to be in the high 20's, I find I will be able to do that later on today.

I have managed to do some basic household chores. Our beds are made. I have tidied the kitchen and done a load of washing. 

There's a tray of sirloin steak out on the benchtop thawing. Later on in the afternoon I will peel some potatoes to mash and some pumpkin to go with it.

The birds are calling me. I am going to change the washing over and put it in the dryer then rest. Every Fibromite knows if you don't rest on bad days, a flare will last longer. 

After the next few chores, I am planning to go outside and read...and I won't succumb to false guilt.   

Maybe I should have rephrased it

As you may know, I have a cleaner come for a couple of hours each Thursday, thanks to my Aged Care Home Package.

She does a really good job and after she leaves, I feel really happy. 

Everything is in order and looks great and the effect it has on my spirits is wonderful. As I have said before, housework is spiritual.

After she is gone I do a few small tasks that make me happy. I change our tablecloth, organise my benchtops in the kitchen and add a new cleaning product/deodorant block to the toilets.

If I have enough spoons on the day, I will sweep down the front porch, but if not, it waits until the next day.

It's so nice to walk around my house on Thursdays and it spurs me on to cook something special. It's always nice to cook when the kitchen looks inviting...

And something funny that happened yesterday.. which was when my cleaner came... as she was leaving I said to her, "After you go, I am always very happy!" She laughed and replied, "Oh, so you are glad when I finally go?" lol... I was embarrassed..

But it was all good, she thanked me for appreciating her efforts and we laughed again and she took her leave. 

Fortunately, she has been told I like her work before and was feigning offence, but thinking about it, maybe I should have rephrased it!

It is what it is

 

So while I was still asleep, just after sunrise, Chris took some photos of our back garden.

He told me there were about 40 corellas eating the birdseed and meat scraps from dinner that I threw out after dinner.

Later on some rosellas joined them and after they left, the sparrows came down. Our place is like an airport.

Later on our cleaner from the Aged Care Provider is coming for a couple of hours and I will be straightening up the kitchen and loading the dishwasher as soon as I finish talking to you.

The washer's already going as I am washing some bedding for her to change the beds today. Of course, I will be using my dryer.

With fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica, I always use it. I have tried using my clothesline but the pain is really debilitating and I can't bear it. Like I always say, it is what it is.

There's plenty that I do.

As you may recall, I have help in housekeeping via the Australian Aged Care Home Package. 

My home cleaning schedule ensures most things are cleaned and you would think that I have it made. But there's always more things to do to run our house.

Not included is 

• Maintenance in between weekly cleans
• Pet care and feeding our cat Xena
• Washing and folding and occasional ironing
• Menu planning
• Grocery shopping online
• Cooking
• Kitchen cleaning and dishes
• Gathering rubbish for bin collection
• Budgeting and bill paying
• Scheduling doctors visits
• Updating prescriptions and filling pill containers for the week
• Organising social events occasionally

I am very grateful for the help I get but used to feel guilty that I needed it. This is false guilt and I have since gotten over it. 

Likewise, I have gotten over the feeling that I was lazy, but of course, when I consider how much I actually do, I realise I am far from it.  As well as my hobbies and blogging, there's plenty that I do . 

 

Letting nothing you dismay!

  

With the continuation of my fibromyalgia flare, I have been simplifying my Christmas decorating, gift buying and so on.

Chris put a wreath on our front door and I decorated our mini Christmas tree. It sits on our coffee table measuring eighteen inches and has lights.

I have no spoons to go shopping and have done most of my Christmas gift buying online over the year. It has saved me so much energy. These days, just getting dressed is a struggle, let alone going out shopping.

Woolworths supermarkets have a delivery service for online shoppers and I take advantage of that. I have my food list for the festive season and I will be ordering from that.

Cooking wise for Christmas Day, I will be preparing  a fresh salad and some curried hard boiled eggs. The rest of our food will be pre cooked. We will be sharing a meal with family  who are all going to bring something.

Gift wrapping is not a job I enjoy and with a fibro flare in full force, I will be giving the grandchildren money.

Christmas with a chronic illness like fibromyalgia is a stressful time, but with a bit of planning, it is possible to get through and maybe even enjoy the day.

So I find myself ad libbing to the carol "God rest ye merry gentlemen!" by singing "God rest ye tired Glenny Hen!" followed by "let nothing you dismay..."

Let's resolve to make this Christmas a simple affair and enjoy the festive season as much as possible in spite of fibro. And remember- we will be making memories that will always be cherished in years to come. "Let nothing you dismay..."

Better days are coming!

 

So yesterday my occupational therapist and her colleague came to give me a trial run of my new motorised scooter, similar to the one pictured here.

It has all terrain wheels and an hour's worth of charge, plenty for me to go visit my sister who lives nearby.

It is part of my Aged Care package and will make my life so much better since I can no longer drive.

This scooter requires no knee action which is great for me as that was the reason I can no longer drive.

Also my bath lift seat is coming in a few days and I am looking forward to that as well. I have bought some Magnesium bath flakes to soak myself in. I am hoping it will lessen my fibromyalgia muscle pain...

As far as hygiene and travelling independence goes, I can say that better days are coming! 

Enough acid to rival Chernobyl

 

I have been on Somac for GERD for at least 20 years and I have just learned that it has been allegedly responsible for giving stomach cancer and kidney disease to many users.

Honestly, I don't know what to do and so I have made an appointment with my doctor next week to discuss it.

My GERD causes me to aspirate my acid and stomach contents thus inducing aspiration pneumonia three times so far. I am now in a dilemma to know what to do.

There's been a class action in Australia and it seems that many people have suffered after taking it. I will update after I have discussed it with my doctor.

Honestly, it's a bad time to stop using them with being stressed, tired and fighting a long fibromyalgia flare. I pump out enough acid to rival Chernobyl's meltdown.

It is what it is!

 

So it's Christmas Eve here in Australia. I am struck down with a vicious fibromyalgia flare. 

In recovery from going out for medical tests for both myself and my daughter, I am trying to find some spoons to take a shower before bed.

As I mentioned, Chris and I are cancelling Christmas this year. In light of how I am feeling, it is just as well.

Chris is recovering from a fall last week and is not feeling the ho ho ho either.

Apart from a traditional Christmas lunch courtesy of Lite N Easy, we will be taking it easy tomorrow.

We are going to take Holy Communion online with my sister and son at lunchtime and that will be the extent of our celebrations.

As I said in the last post, it is not an ideal Christmas, but it is what it is.... fibromyalgia wins again! 

We're going for a run

As you know, I have had to resort to using a wheelchair when I go out.  It is not something I am happy about, but it is a necessary part of adapting to my new normal.

Along with walking, there are a few other things I have had to adapt to as well. 

I sit on my shower seat. When I get out, I sit down again and dry off. That's about all the time I can stand.

Most times, Chris stacks and unstacks the dishwasher and this has stopped me having to stand and bend.

I always use the dryer even in good weather. I miss the smell of sun-dried clothes, but it is what it is.

I do make my bed for company, but even so it is just pulled up quickly, nothing fancy. I can't stand to tuck it in and I can't bend either...

With the ageing Australian Government Package, I have a support worker come every two weeks. She changes our beds.

Also within this Home Care Package, I can order ready cooked frozen dinners from Lite N Easy. The meals are designed by a dietitian and cooked by a chef. They are quite delicious and save me from having to stand to cook and I know we are eating well.

I am grateful for all this as it allows me to still be mistress of my home in spite of illness, pain and disability. But even so, I find myself longing for the soon rapture of the Church.

It will be so glorious to not only see my Saviour, but to be able to breathe easily, feel joy and go for a run...

Loving Australian Damper

The other day, we ran out of bread and Chris and I didn't feel like driving to the shops. 

Now I cannot make a decent loaf of bread so my  friend suggested trying damper. It is a bread that has no yeast and has been baked since the dawn of settlement in Australia. So I tried my hand at making Australian Damper.

In the past I have used bread makers and have tried endless recipes for no knead bread without success. Oh, it tastes great straight out of the oven with lashings of butter, but as soon as it cools off, it is as heavy as lead. It even breaks the birds' beaks when I throw it out for them! haha

But this method for damper was so easy and we both enjoyed it so much. Why not give it a try?

Are you a senior Aussie?

 

These days groceries have gone through the ceiling and it is very hard to be able to afford meat and fresh fruits and vegetables.

When you are chronically ill and disabled, cooking becomes a real chore and meals can become less tasty and nutritious.

I was feeling  all this when my Aged Home Care Package was reactivated and it was with sincere gratitude that I was able to access Lite N Easy Meals. 

They are created by dietitians and cooked by chefs and are very tasty. My Aged Care Package pays 70% of the cost and I can order 28 meals every two weeks- or more often if desired.

If you are a senior in Australia, check out your eligibility for you Aged Care Package. You will be glad you did.

When the spoons are gone forever

 

The Australian government allocates $53,000 pa in a care plan to try to keep aging people in  their own home if possible. It works out cheaper than putting them into a nursing home. I am so grateful to live here where there's help because aging is no fun!

A lot of oldies here have to sell their home to get into a nursing home and/or have their aged pensions garnished. Chris and I have absolutely no assets to garnish and the Aged Care Package here is means tested.  

We rely on the Aged pension and that is all we have... so we qualified. 

We have worked hard in our lifetime, managed our homes, worked outside the home, brought up our children and possibly, even grandchildren. Now we find either that our spouse has passed away or is also suffering the effects of old age and cannot help up either.

There's no shame in asking for help. Even Sacrificial Home Keepers eventually run out of spoons and they are gone forever.

Time on the phone paid off

After nearly a whole day on the phone, I am happy to report that we were approved for help. 

Our aged care home package will start in 3-4 weeks. It includes transport, home maintenance, podiatry, and grass cutting. 

Later on as we get older it will include meals on wheels... but as long as I can cook, we would prefer our own cuisine. 

Once a year someone will come and wash our windows for us. The is all part of the Australian Government's plan to keep seniors in their own home instead of a nursing home.

I had to access three different goverment bodies today via phone with a waiting time of an hour or more, but with the ability to be approved so quickly and for the blessing it will be, the time on  the phone paid off.

 

It still is that for me!

 

Yep, it's still Safeway for me!  With fibromyalgia brain fog and old age, tell me the new name of a place or person I knew, and it is lost forever... they will forever be the name I first called them!

So I had a phone consult today and the doctor wants to wean me off prednisolone after only four days.. it hasnt really done it's job quite yet, so I am going to spin it out for a few more days ...

Today I have washed some minkie blankets off our beds, ran and then emptied the Roombas, cleaned the toilets and ordered online medicines and groceries.I  did some rounds of crochet in between tasks..

Chris loves bangers and mash so that's what I will be doing for tea tonight..

The Prednisolone fills me with fake energy, but I don't care... I will milk this Polymyalgia rheumatica situation for all it's worth!  I know I won't be long on the meds so I may as well turn the antsy feelings for my good...and get the benefit of some pseudo spoons!  

For those who don't know... in Australia Safeway Supermarkets took on the name Woolworths many moons ago: but as I said, it still is that for me!

The downside of country life

So  the other night I was going into my bathroom when I noticed this huntsman on the frame near the door. My heart nearly stopped!

Walking into the bathroom, I must have passed close to this horrid spider who could easily have jumped on my head and such is my fear of spiders, it possibly would have killed me in a cardiac event brought on by fear!

Not an overly big spider by huntsman standards, he would have been about 3 inches across. But he was big enough to induce panic in us as we scurried to find a broom and the fly spray!

I didn't want to lose this guy as we wouldn't know where we would find him, so there was a great over use of flyspray and frantic loud bangs of the broom. Suffice it to say, he got a burial at sea!

It is said that they come in pairs, so we were watching everywhere until his mate was found. And she was...

I was in the adjacent laundry and found her sunning herself on the glass panel in the back door. I grabbed my flyspray and went to spray it, but then realised that she was outside the door. She too had to be gone because I didn't want her coming in the house. I'd had enough excitement with her mate's intrusion.

A few sprays of the flyspray had her on the move, and a few heavy thumps of the broom, and she was no longer. Except for food for the birds and ants. 

Indeed, I had to chuckle at how fast I moved, considering my two damaged knees and fibromyalgia. It's marvellous what an adrenaline rush can do for a body! 

Not only did the fear of losing the huntsman to perchance come back to terrorise me, rattle me, but so did realising that I had married a man who refused to rescue me from dangerous wildlife! Such was my expectation of my knight in shining armour! :)

Don't get me wrong: I still love living here in the Australian bush with my liver-lilied Chris,  but snakes and huntsmen are definitely the downside of country life.