Quietly dwelling

  

Next month I will be 72. All things pertaining to ageing are at an all time peak. Everything that can ache, does.

Every day I need a nana nap to get through to dinner time and really there's nothing I can do to change that. I am forced to go with the flow.

I used to buy Lite N Easy food as part of my Aged Care package, but Chris and I have become sick of it. I have no choice but to cook.

As dinner times are when my spoons are usually spent, I sit down at the kitchen table and prepare whatever I can beforehand. Then it's just a matter of cooking some meat and doing some gravy.

Both ageing and fibromyalgia keep me living in pain, but I try to not complain about it too much.

I know at this season of my life that I can take that nana nap when I need to or leave the clothes to be folded another day. Likewise I can go to bed as early as I want... there are no schedules to keep.

Each day brings its challenges but even so, I am glad to be here...life is still sweet!

Even in this quiet season of my life it is very comforting to know that I am just where God wants me to be-quietly dwelling in the simplicity of acceptance and peace.

 

I won't succumb to it...

 

I am currently unwell. My spoons have evaporated and everything that can ache or pain me, is. I am in a fibromyalgia flare.

We Aussies are in to our autumn or fall but the weather has been erratic with many days over 30C or 86F. With lots of rain to make it humid and steamy. It's bad weather for a Fibromite.

We have air conditioning but I have missed being able to go out into our back garden. So with temperatures forecast to be in the high 20's, I find I will be able to do that later on today.

I have managed to do some basic household chores. Our beds are made. I have tidied the kitchen and done a load of washing. 

There's a tray of sirloin steak out on the benchtop thawing. Later on in the afternoon I will peel some potatoes to mash and some pumpkin to go with it.

The birds are calling me. I am going to change the washing over and put it in the dryer then rest. Every Fibromite knows if you don't rest on bad days, a flare will last longer. 

After the next few chores, I am planning to go outside and read...and I won't succumb to false guilt.   

Don't let them dictate

I have been very ill off-and-on for several weeks now. But I needed to drag myself out of bed and "Make an Easter for the Family" as Connie Hultquist would say.   I will be okay. My husband (who is disabled) and I learn to live in pain and suffering.  He will say that he is going to suffer whether he is doing something in life, or sitting still and hurting.  He chooses to do things and live, rather than do nothing and suffer. He will suffer no matter what. But we put on a happy face and enjoy the family and our home and all the wonderful blessings we have.  Mrs White of Legacy of Home

 

As a chronically ill woman, I have seen two lots of sufferers- those who feel like Mrs White and I and those who take to their beds and surrender to it.

Just because the former types of ill people push on as much as humanly possible does not mean that their illness is all in their head and therefore subject to discipline of oneself. 

It means that they realise that they may as well try to live as normal a life as possible instead of taking to their bed like the latter half and doing nothing... 

We all have days where illness or disability makes it impossible to do anything,  ensuring we have to rest, but those who never try to live won't even try to have a life even on better days.

Last week I had a fibromyalgia flare and it was truly torture to try to do those jobs I need to do.. I had no other choice than to rest. But today is the first day I felt a bit better, and so resumed my "normal" routine and feel better emotionally for it.

Others would prolong the flare and continue to stay in bed as they often fear bringing on another flare. Instead, they often succumb to depression because they have mentally  put themselves in the invalid role and therefore often endure the loneliness and joylessness of the invalid.

Over the past 24 years of fibromyalgia and other illnesses, I have decided to push myself a little in order to enjoy more of my life. But there's always a balance- if I feel particularly down, I will take a nana nap or actually go to bed.

The trick is learning to co exist with these illnesses and try not to allow those dictators called "Spoons" to literally dictate how we will live each day and how much enjoyment we will derive from each of those days.

As I have been up for quite a few hours already and done some housework, my muscles are cramping and I need to rest. But at least I have some job satisfaction and can cross some tasks off my daily to do list...

Until next time, may you find some spoons to energise you and some motivation so as to enjoy the most of your life that you can today...

Don't let the spoons dictate your life every moment..

 

Some more to add to the mix

 

I have another couple of issues to add to the mix. Lymphedema with skin changes similar to this picture above.

I also have sugars over 17 fasting and it's making me feel dreadful.

I have just changed doctors since the move and she has gone on vacation for two weeks. I need to go on insulin.. 

I have been putting castor oil on my legs and it seems to be stopping the scaling which hopefully will stop the legs getting infected. My right arm is also affected...

To add the final nail in my health, I have been suffering from costochondritis which is very sore.

With a fibromyalgia flare happening as well, I am truly feeling dreadful. Prayers would be very much appreciated.

Maybe I should have rephrased it

As you may know, I have a cleaner come for a couple of hours each Thursday, thanks to my Aged Care Home Package.

She does a really good job and after she leaves, I feel really happy. 

Everything is in order and looks great and the effect it has on my spirits is wonderful. As I have said before, housework is spiritual.

After she is gone I do a few small tasks that make me happy. I change our tablecloth, organise my benchtops in the kitchen and add a new cleaning product/deodorant block to the toilets.

If I have enough spoons on the day, I will sweep down the front porch, but if not, it waits until the next day.

It's so nice to walk around my house on Thursdays and it spurs me on to cook something special. It's always nice to cook when the kitchen looks inviting...

And something funny that happened yesterday.. which was when my cleaner came... as she was leaving I said to her, "After you go, I am always very happy!" She laughed and replied, "Oh, so you are glad when I finally go?" lol... I was embarrassed..

But it was all good, she thanked me for appreciating her efforts and we laughed again and she took her leave. 

Fortunately, she has been told I like her work before and was feigning offence, but thinking about it, maybe I should have rephrased it!

I am my own doctor

 

So we have recieved more bad news from our doctor with a change of medications which, as it turns out, hosts a long list of dangerous side effects.

Our 3 monthly blood tests for diabetes and cholesterol etc came back showing a rapid rise in our sugars and cholesterol.

Our doctor is not pleased that we have stopped taking our statins, agreeing that the brain needs the cholesterol but saying with our chronic heart disease and failure that we should take them as the benefits far out the risks... and she wasn't swayed that both of our mothers died of alzheimers.

So I am sitting here praying and reflecting on what to do and we have decided to resume taking our previous medications that came with less side effects.

I am not happy that she changed our medications without informing us that they come with a host of possible dangers... as I said a few years ago, sometimes you have to be your own doctor.

Setting things to rights

So today is Monday and unlike some people who hate Mondays, I quite like them. I see Monday as the first day of the week and it is a day to put things to rights.

Sundays are our sabbath and we only do those things that are truly necessary. After all, it's supposed to be a day of rest.

We chill out and watch online services and listen to worship music and nap. But with Monday comes the need to plan to incorporate those tasks that went undone yesterday. 

I usually have washing to do and at least one load of clean clothes to fold. I try to get caught up with that plus any dishes that need washing get put into the dishwasher.

For me the tasks that take the most time and are frequent flyers are washing folding and dishes.

Provided I am not in a fibromyalgia flare and have enough spoons, (and this is always unknown and erratic), I will tackle these today.

As I said, I follow Sylvia's Lists and I will loosely follow this for Monday..  

There's always a feeling of satisfaction when/if I can do these tasks on Monday's... but still, come to think of it... I always feel happy any day when I am setting things to rights..

I'm bringing FlyLady with me!

 

As I have mentioned before, I loosely follow FlyLady and Sylvia's Lists to keep my home in order between weekly visits of a cleaner through my Aged Care Home Package.

So for two hours on a Thursday, the cleaner changes our beds, cleans our stove top and benchtops, cleans our bathrooms and toilets and vacuums and mops the floors. She dusts when necessary.

Each day after that I follow Sylvia's Lists and then when the cleaner comes, I get her to do one task in the zone FlyLady is in at that time. Eventually those detailed lists get done too.

I have been following these cleaning schedules for years and our home can be company in 30 minutes.. and with our first house inspection being a resounding success last week, we can see it's working.

As I said, it's a successful plan and I am definitely bringing FlyLady with me! 

I love being a Sacrificial Home Body!

 

I am nearly 72 and I find that there is true contentment in staying home.

Keeping the home clean and attractive is time and energy well spent and I find that it gives me a great sense of peace.

Housework is spiritual and for me keeping my home in order is good for my sense of accomplishment and peace. A messy or dirty home depresses me no end.

I have been blessed to be able to stay home for twenty years as my many illnesses saw me needing rest. But for me it has been no hardship.

After my first marriage ended, I felt lost. I missed being a wife who could stay at home but life dictated that I provide for myself and so I went to work until I met and married Chris 27 years ago.

He was happy to look after me and as illness came to stay encouraged me to stay home. He also was happy to come home to a nice meal after the work day ended.

I believe that chosing to be a stay at home wife is God ordained and is still a goal that can be achieved with careful planning and management.

This is one definition of what a housewife is:

Housewife:

A married woman who stays home.

This is a lifelong vocation.
It is an old-fashioned term,
and something to be proud of.

Not a "domestic engineer."
Not a "home manager."

An old fashioned housewife,
who keeps the home,
and abides there.

- Mrs. White of Legacy of Home.

I don't know how I managed to work with all my illnesses and I daily praise God for making it possible for me to stay home.

May He do so for you too if that is what you seek... as for me, I love being a Sacrificial Home Body! 

We rarely get any validation

 

Those of us who suffer from fibromyalgia often have little sympathy or even care from a lot of people.

Most people haven't even heard of it and most who even have, often believe it is not a serious syndrome to suffer from.

They don't realise that fibro is in fact all encompassing to the afflicted person and has the potential to dictate how we live.

Not only does fibromyalgia dictate our physical life, but our social, mental and even spiritual life. The person who states that it does not have a great impact on their life has not experienced a full blown fibromyalgia flare.

It is a sad syndrome as it has very few visible symptoms and people imply that we are faking it.

The only thing we fake is feeling better than what we do. We rarely get any validation.