Something I hope and pray for.

 

Another issue to afflict me. An exacerbation of my lymphedema  I have been in hospital to treat my cellulitis in the legs. I was on IV antibiotics but after 24 hours they sent me home.

I am now on oral antibiotics which are very rugged on my stomach. But I need to persevere.

As Chris is unwell, I told him to stay at home. There wasn't really a lot he could do for me and thanks to mobile phones, I was able to keep in touch with him.

My doctor has told me to try to keep my legs elevated to try to encourage the swelling to recede, but she has also said that lymphedema usually is a life long problem.

My aged care personal assistant/cleaner can't come to the house if I am not there so I came home to a mess. Chris is not well enough to do much and can hardly stand up since his stroke.

At least I know that I do not have any blood clots in my legs. They did an ultrasound because my legs were hot and swollen and very sensitive to touch. They did hurt with the swelling, lymphedema and of course severe fibromyalgia.

I am planning on having an early night as they have told me to rest. Which is all very well until you see my messy house.

Tomorrow I am planning to shower and get some water on my affected limbs seeing as the doctor said I could do that. To make that happen, I will be praying for strength in the morning. A shower is very taxing these days.

I will bid you goodnight then take my final antibiotics for the night and head to bed. 

Tomorrow is another day and with God's help my legs will be a bit better. I just want some improvement- and it is something I hope and pray for.

It's my new normal...

                                                                               

Lately I have been extremely tired and in pain. My fibromyalgia has flared, my knees are sore and my lymphedema has caused my legs to swell so much that the skin has burst in places and is leaking clear fluid.

I am on strong antibiotics to prevent cellulitis and the doctor has told me to rest my legs by keeping them elevated.

So I have had to think about what needs to be done daily just to keep the domestic wheels turning. Chris is battling his own health issues and cannot help much.

At the very least I need to feed us daily and keep up with the washing of clothes and dishes. And feed the cats.

So in the morning I rise, feed the cats and birds, feed us and test our sugars and inject our insulin and take our tablets. I check emails, budget and repeat prescriptions...

I pull the blinds up and let the sunshine in and if the weather is OK, I open the windows a bit.

I do a quick ablution and get dressed. Then I put on a load of washing. I rest my legs by having a foot rub on the couch to encourage the fluid to go up towards my heart.

About 11am I put the kettle on and change the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I later sort out his and her clothes and we live out of the laundry tub.

We have a cup of tea. I decide what to have for dinner and take some meat out to defrost. Then back to the couch which usually ends up with me taking a nana nap. I just can't seem to stay awake lately...

So with extremely limited energy, I start dinner around 5pm. And I have found cooking in cookie sheets so handy when you literally can't stand for long. I found a website here that is so helpful. 

While dinner's cooking, I feed the 3 cats again then I take our blood sugars and inject us. We then eat and usually I clear the table and Chris loads the dishwasher if he has energy.

I go around pulling blinds down and turning lamps on to give a restful ambiance. Then I turn our electric blankets on low. Then I dispense the night medications and put my swollen legs up.

I know it doesn't seem like much to women who enjoy good health but it is a lot for me to do each day.

I go to bed about 10pm and listen to the Bible on YouTube. I like Sir David Suchet's readings. Most times I fall asleep pretty quickly.

I usually wake about 7am and start the day much the same as described. It's my new normal...

Catching up and Staying put.

 

You may recall our rented home was up for sale. Well, it finally got settled last Thursday and we are allowed to stay on as tenants.

This was so good as we have now acquired another cat to join Xena and Milo. He started out as a skinny manky stray but his quiet ways and lovely face won our heart. And being a cat lover, I fed and befriended him.

Eventually he invited himself inside and captured Chris's heart as well. We didn't know what gender he was, so we named him Ginger. We thought he was a feral cat but I looked into our local FB groups and lo and behold, in the lost pets section, who should be staring at me on the page than our little Ginger.

So I messaged the owner and she confirmed it was him. He has blossomed and she loved the video we posted of him. She said he looked happy and told us he was an almost 3 years old neutered male, was called Joey and had run away when moving house last January. 

She also told us that as circumstances had changed she could no longer keep him, so we could keep him! We did! He has the sweetest nature ever! 

I have finally weaned off the Prednisolone. I have gained weight while I have been on it, but the pain relief it gave almost made it worth it. I still have polymyalgia rheumatica and also fibromyalgia, which isn't helped by Prednisolone. It seems that pain will always find me.

My lymphodema is still bad with my right arm swelling a lot. My sugars are coming down too since I started on insulin injections.

On the bright side, we have a great-grandson due any minute, a great-granddaughter due in July and another great-granddaughter due in October. I have already given each mother a crocheted shawl and a knitted jacket and am glad that I managed to finish them all before the latest health challenge.

We had a small baby shower for the girls and I am so glad it was done before these last few challenging months. I made a gender neutral hamper for the baby due in October as it was too early to know the gender. It was a happy day.. 

Apart from crocheting these bibs for each baby, the girls's gifts are done... and so we are caught up and staying put! 

 

Back to basics

As you probably know, life has been really hard for me both physically and emotionally. Chronic illness is never fun.

But life must go on and that life for me is as a wife, and home maker. So it is normal that I would sit and ponder on how I can best use my few spoons or energy and continue to care for us both as well as our pets and home.

I have had to prioritise our basic needs in order to keep our home clean and our bodies clean and fed.

For me I need to daily organise our meals and medications and feed our cats and birds. 

In order to do that, I need to menu plan and then shop online for supplies.

I also need to do a load of washing each day. With polymyalgia rheumatica and fibromyalgia still hurting, I use the dryer.

To keep a roof over our head and utilities and food coming, I have to organise our budget and pay the bills.

I need to organise our medications into pill organisers and get any repeat prescriptions dispensed.

If this necessitates a doctors appointment, I have to make a booking for a phone consult. Every second day we shower and help each other..

With my Aged Care Home Package, I have a cleaner come for 2 hours a week and she does what I simply cannot manage anymore. She changes our beds, cleans the kitchen benches and stovetop, dusts and cleans our showers, toilets and floors.

The day before she cleans, I change the tablecloth, clean out the kitty tray and wheel the bins out for collection. The cleaner brings them in for us.

Every morning I run the Roomba to pick up crumbs and cat's fur. Then with my spoons almost gone, I lay on the couch and Chris rubs my feet to get the lymph fluid off my ankles. And I sleep.

I refuse to feel guilty for needing to sleep or for keeping my swollen legs and feet elevated. I am doing the best that I can.  I am not lazy, just a worn out old Sacrificial Home Keeper trying to get back to basics.

I am comforted!

 

I am on fire with pain. Literally from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I don't believe I am being punished for my sin. Jesus took that for me...

But I do believe that we live in a fallen world and I am genetically weak with many inherited maladies from both sides of my parentage.

At nearly 73, I am unravelling. It is just the facts.. my body is failing me. I am in agony and I cannot get medications that will successfully keep the pain at bearable limits. This is because some who abuse opioids have closed the door on help for everyone who truly needs it.

They don't believe that I need pain relief, but here is a brief description of my pain in mostly every area of my body.

My head: PMR temple pain and headache. TMJ causing jaw pain and earache. Fibro brain fog.

My neck: Polymyalgia rheumatica pain (PMR) Hashimoto's disease.

My skin: psoriasis and rash on shins from lymphedema of left leg 

My shoulders: fibromyalgia and PMR muscle pain. Lymphedema in my right arm (from the angiogram)

My heart: angina, costrocondritis. Hole in the heart. Ongoing IHD

My blood: antiphospholilipid syndrome. (Sticky blood)

My lungs: pulmonary hypertension. Only my left one working.

My stomach: gastroparisis, GERD. Navel hernia repair done with mesh which is tearing away from flesh

My pancreas: failing due to diabetes 2

My kidneys: failing and dropping at Stage 3- recently 56 today 45. Makers of 50+ kidney stones

My arms: muscle pain with tearing ligament pain. 

My hands: deformed from osteoarthritis. Trigger finger on left pointer finger.

My back & hips: PMR, fibromyalgia, spinal canal stenosis, ankylosing spondylitis, Scheurrmanns disease. No lower discs left. Coccydynia 

My knees: lymphedema, ligaments torn and a fabella in the right knee. Arthritis.

My legs: fluid from heart disease and lymphedema.

My feet: arthritis, peripheral neuropathy from diabetes, heel spurs

Each day brings more pain. The level fluctuates, but it never goes. And I am still treated like a drug abuser when I ask for pain relief- and this is all verifiable by medical tests.

In fact, the only "help" I have gotten is through a pain management clinic where I was told to play Candy Crush to keep my mind off it. It is a joke. 

In spite of all this, I have had comfort from the LORD. He has helped me to seek truth and set the evil one to flight in moments of doubt. It is easy to wonder if one is being punished during a trial of pain and illness.

Sometimes I haven't even been able to formulate prayers and yet He has calmed my heart and made His Presence felt in giving me a peace.

He has led me to rest in Him, allowing me to drift into a sleep that has seen me restored and refreshed enough to cope during even the most painful of episodes.

His Holy Spirit has reminded me that this too will pass and that Jesus is preparing for me a place of eternal joy and health. And that the suffering I have now will fade in the beauty of His Presence and Holiness where nothing will cause tears and pain and where there is no death.

I have truly felt His Love for me wrap itself around me like a cloak of protection and ownership. 

Sometimes He will bring a song of praise or worship to mind, and I will praise Him in spite of it all. For He is worthy.

Through illness and pain, I have felt a Father's concern and love and I have held on to His Promise that He will not leave me comfortless and will come to me..

The pain is relentless, but so is God's Love and Presence. 

It is true: I am not alone. I am comforted.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18