Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Saturday 10 February 2024

Xena's still upset with me!


For those of you who follow my sister blog, Morning Cuppas With Glenys, you may recall that recently I had to rescue a sparrow from our little white cat, Xena's mouth.

Although it's been 2 weeks since that rescue, my relationship with her has gone south! She ignores me. When she lays on the floor in front of me, she keeps her back to me and if she walks past me on my computer desk, she presents her bottom to me as she passes me to drink from her drinking fountain on my desk.

I can't work out why she's so upset and why her grudge has continued for so long. She is well fed so the bird affair must have been for sheer pleasure of the hunt. And although the hunt was successful, she didn't get to enjoy the fruit of it...

Maybe she was trying  to please me by bringing this poor bird home like the time she brought home a dead mouse and laid it on my back doorstep.. perhaps my rejection has hurt her feline feelings...

With a very nasty fibromyalgia flare and extreme fatigue, I have been having frequent nana naps and she does still come into bed with me...

But the feeling of companionship is lacking now and I want it back. But how does one say sorry to a cat?

I fear that our relationship is permanently damaged and I am fully expecting her to put out her tongue at me to air her feelings..

I am checking her little claws as she sometimes accidentally scratches me in the night when she's curled up beside me. 

Come to think of it, maybe it's not accidental- maybe she's still fuming... I will never know. What I do know though, is that Xena's still upset with me! 





Thursday 14 September 2023

The trust is gone!



Just something funny but serious happened here this week. We both have had stomach cramps and the runs and we were questioning what foods could have been responsible. Nothing out of the ordinary was eaten... well, I started using new dishwasher stuff and Chris has been helping me load it. 

Today we were doing it together and I said that it needed more drying aid in the dispenser. So Chris hands me the drying aid...only it wasn't it. It was the dishwasher cleaner... I said is this what you have been using? he said it was... I told him it was the wrong product... his response was but it is blue!.... 

No wonder we were having bad cramps... He needs to get his eyes checked. Seriously! the trust is gone... I will be loading the dishwasher myself from now on.... perhaps that was his plan?! lol




Sunday 5 March 2023

The Dentist-a saga of dread

 



The Dentist - a saga of dread

Sick with dread and anticipation my hands dripping with perspiration,

I rigidly sat wide-eyed with fear in that most abominable of all places-

The Dentist's chair... 

He must have thought me a fool; overhead pictures from nursery school,

And models flashing perfect pearly whites in an effort to allay the dread and fright

Of what I knew would be a horrible ordeal their pretty pictures wouldn't make less real-

My fear of the Dentist... 

The cool decor was aesthetically pleasing, designed to be for the releasing

Of jangled nerves and whites of fear-filled eyes, every effort made to disguise

That this was the home of the Marquis de Sade whose thrills were gained by the screams I made

in moments spent in the barbaric hands of one most thought of as a 'caring' man-

The Dentist... 

Oh, he cared for me in his own strange way by his actions and the words he'd say-

The intimate probing of every tooths' surface , his caring advice on how to brush them till flawless; 

but I thought it was a little queer how he got excited when in my mouth he'd peer,

And I felt suspicious of a guy whose great delight was to become aroused by the shape of my bite...

And it turned me up as he became turned on as he explored every tooth with his forked prong

And announced with relish and fiendish delight that I had decay in the top tooth on the right,

And I looked upon him through sunglassed eyes which hopefully  would enable me to disguise

The loathing and dread I felt at his touch which still was quite awful despite rubber gloves

And I felt the fear of him come as a great heat, knowing that now Sade was in for a treat-

I hated with the hatred I reserved for him alone as into my enamel he swiftly honed...

How strange that his breathing was so relaxed and so sure and mine was so fast that I wanted to roar

And tell him to stop that I was suffocating, but I knew that it was no use remonstrating,

For  this torturous bard had a job to be done, and I panted and sweated as if I had just run

As I wanted to do before I entered his door, for my tooth had stopped aching the night before,

And I purposed right then and there in my heart to forgo all sugars and sweets for a start,

And to floss and to brush till my little gums bled, to avoid this man who filled me with dread- 

This most hateful of men,

The Dentist... 

Through goggled protection his eyes suddenly glinted-and I knew from experience what they hinted-

The moment of fear to give me heart palpitations; the filling was so deep that I needed injections,

And my mouth which till then had dribbled quite freely, went dry as a chip as I acquiesced weakly,

And I gripped the side of the chair with such might that my perspiring hands sported knuckles of white

As he bored the needle right into my brain- (Well I guessed it was there from the amount of pain),

Then just as I felt it was too much to bear, I suddenly felt that my nose wasn't there,

And so I relaxed and dropped my arms and surrendered unwillingly into his charms,

And let him have his way with me, knowing gums and enamel his only interest to be,

And his sole desire and ultimate plan was to cleanse all teeth of the scourge of man-

My greatest foe and Sade's greatest delight, the one thing we agreed on, the one thing to fight-

Sade for the money and the thrill of the chase, me for the desperation in avoiding this place- 

The dentist's 

  

© Glenys Robyn Hicks  


Friday 9 July 2021

I can't decide what to wear!


I am so excited! Tonight is Bin Night! I get to take our rubbish bins out for collection. With Covid lockdowns, torn meniscus and wonky other knee, spinal problems and fatigue from my fibromyalgia flares, and now a sick husband as well, we don't get out much!

Going out for any reason is a treat and I look forward to taking the bins out. They are so lucky as they go out more than we do these days!

It's all well and good to take them out, and my excitement is real, but I only have one problem that detracts from the pleasure and keeps my feet on the ground- I just can't decide what to wear!