A catch up chat

 

Well a lot has happened since my last post. Two more surgeries, umpteen out patient visits to the Plastics Clinic, umpteen dressing changes and pain-killers.

I was in hospital for 8 days and am now trying to manage my home single handedly. It's not easy when you are right handed and the injury was on that hand.

Chris is unable to help me much as he is still suffering from his stroke and can hardly see.

I have managed to keep on top of the dishes and washing but the rest of the cleaning has had to wait until next Thursday when my cleaner comes.

She will change our beds and fold the washing as well as clean in general. I would be lost without her.

Sleep is not very easy as my finger throbs with every heart beat. Compounded with fibromyalgia, the pain has been unrelentless.

As soon as it is easier to type, I will write about how the Lord ministered to me in hospital, in my other blog. 

But for now, my poor finger is aching badly and our catch up chat must come to an end....

It's my new normal...

                                                                               

Lately I have been extremely tired and in pain. My fibromyalgia has flared, my knees are sore and my lymphedema has caused my legs to swell so much that the skin has burst in places and is leaking clear fluid.

I am on strong antibiotics to prevent cellulitis and the doctor has told me to rest my legs by keeping them elevated.

So I have had to think about what needs to be done daily just to keep the domestic wheels turning. Chris is battling his own health issues and cannot help much.

At the very least I need to feed us daily and keep up with the washing of clothes and dishes. And feed the cats.

So in the morning I rise, feed the cats and birds, feed us and test our sugars and inject our insulin and take our tablets. I check emails, budget and repeat prescriptions...

I pull the blinds up and let the sunshine in and if the weather is OK, I open the windows a bit.

I do a quick ablution and get dressed. Then I put on a load of washing. I rest my legs by having a foot rub on the couch to encourage the fluid to go up towards my heart.

About 11am I put the kettle on and change the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I later sort out his and her clothes and we live out of the laundry tub.

We have a cup of tea. I decide what to have for dinner and take some meat out to defrost. Then back to the couch which usually ends up with me taking a nana nap. I just can't seem to stay awake lately...

So with extremely limited energy, I start dinner around 5pm. And I have found cooking in cookie sheets so handy when you literally can't stand for long. I found a website here that is so helpful. 

While dinner's cooking, I feed the 3 cats again then I take our blood sugars and inject us. We then eat and usually I clear the table and Chris loads the dishwasher if he has energy.

I go around pulling blinds down and turning lamps on to give a restful ambiance. Then I turn our electric blankets on low. Then I dispense the night medications and put my swollen legs up.

I know it doesn't seem like much to women who enjoy good health but it is a lot for me to do each day.

I go to bed about 10pm and listen to the Bible on YouTube. I like Sir David Suchet's readings. Most times I fall asleep pretty quickly.

I usually wake about 7am and start the day much the same as described. It's my new normal...

Back to basics

As you probably know, life has been really hard for me both physically and emotionally. Chronic illness is never fun.

But life must go on and that life for me is as a wife, and home maker. So it is normal that I would sit and ponder on how I can best use my few spoons or energy and continue to care for us both as well as our pets and home.

I have had to prioritise our basic needs in order to keep our home clean and our bodies clean and fed.

For me I need to daily organise our meals and medications and feed our cats and birds. 

In order to do that, I need to menu plan and then shop online for supplies.

I also need to do a load of washing each day. With polymyalgia rheumatica and fibromyalgia still hurting, I use the dryer.

To keep a roof over our head and utilities and food coming, I have to organise our budget and pay the bills.

I need to organise our medications into pill organisers and get any repeat prescriptions dispensed.

If this necessitates a doctors appointment, I have to make a booking for a phone consult. Every second day we shower and help each other..

With my Aged Care Home Package, I have a cleaner come for 2 hours a week and she does what I simply cannot manage anymore. She changes our beds, cleans the kitchen benches and stovetop, dusts and cleans our showers, toilets and floors.

The day before she cleans, I change the tablecloth, clean out the kitty tray and wheel the bins out for collection. The cleaner brings them in for us.

Every morning I run the Roomba to pick up crumbs and cat's fur. Then with my spoons almost gone, I lay on the couch and Chris rubs my feet to get the lymph fluid off my ankles. And I sleep.

I refuse to feel guilty for needing to sleep or for keeping my swollen legs and feet elevated. I am doing the best that I can.  I am not lazy, just a worn out old Sacrificial Home Keeper trying to get back to basics.

It's an honour!

 

'Every house needs a keeper. Someone has to do that little work to keep things clean and pleasant.

Someone has to do the shopping, plan the meals, do the laundry, make the beds, and keep things nice.

It is such an honor and privilege to be the keeper of the house.'

~From The Legacy Of Home by Mrs. Sharon White

Stopping perfectionism in its tracks.

 

In my early days, I used to be a perfectionist in my homemaking. I dusted and vacuumed the house every day. Clothes were washed, dried, folded and ironed the same day.

With the advent of spinal problems, kidney stone surgeries, and later heart surgeries, the perfectionism wained.

After my children were grown there wasn't so much work to do. With the advent of fibromyalgia and now lymphoedema, I am lucky to be able to stand long enough to cook a meal- let alone iron stuff that nobody sees much now that I am a full- time couch potato! 

In spite of everything and with help from my Home Support Package, my home is still clean and by constant chipping away at tasks, it looks reasonably clean and organised.

I still have pride in a job well done, but the push to produce and the motivation is almost gone.

Illness has a way of stopping perfectionism in its tracks. 

A boring home life

It's Saturday morning here. I have just finished putting the groceries I got online away. It's so convenient for Chris and I seeing as we both are unwell

I have done a  load of washing and am thinking about doing some lunch. Toasted cheese and tomato sangers sounds good and easy.  

My kitchen needs to be cleaned but I am out of spoons as I didn't sleep well last night. The weather is changing as it's autumn here and we can experience all seasons in one day. It plays havoc with my fibromyalgia. It's making me feel miserable.

I am thinking of taking a nana nap before I do the kitchen. But before that I will take some Panadol Osteo   to help relieve my fibro pain. Pacing and resting are not an option with fibromyalgia: it's a necessity. 

After I clean the kitchen I will cook chow mein and rice for dinner and if I have enough spoons I will fold the day's clean clothes and put them away.

It's a boring day here and I am glad. When you think of what's happening in the world, I can truly gratefully say that God has blessed me with a boring home life! 

Because of motherly love

 

Life has been tough lately. Fibromyalgia has come with a vengeance as the weather here in Australia is so changeable. It is our autumn or fall.

A Fibromite will tell you that weather effects your pain. Coupled with some family circumstances wherein we now have another person living with us, there's not only more stress but more work.

To make matters worse, my Polymyalgia Rheumatica has returned and my knees go out of joint frequently. Pain is my constant companion.

In spite of this, I try to keep everything up to date, especially the dishes and washing.

Last week I had to cancel our cleaner because I had an urgent appointment, so today I have my Roomba going around.

I have a dryer full of clothes that need to be removed and put away. There's another one to follow.

For dinner I am planning to cook some steak, mashed potatoes with vegetables and gravy. Then it will be another stacking of the dishwasher and a lay on the couch for a while.

Not for the first time, I am glad I don't have little ones to look after now. I don't think I would manage it. It's a young person's game.

Thoughts and prayers go out to the young mothers who have a chronic painful illness. The only concession I used to make was doing my housework in my dressing gown or bathrobe instead of being in bed.

Kudos to all of us who battle on because of  motherly love. You are the true Sacrificial Home Keepers.

Bells and whistles

 

I was deep in thought on my computer this morning when something started beeping in the house.

Chris called out to me asking what went off. I did a mental check going through the chores I was currently doing. Or I should say, that my appliances were doing for me.

My washing machine was still washing. I wasn't using my oven. My robotic vacuums were fully charged waiting to be instructed on when to start cleaning. My dryer was not in use. The air fryer was not in use....

I asked Chris if he had left the fridge door open... he hadn't. There was only one thing it could be: the dishwasher. It was! 

It was such a relief to locate the beeping sound. Doubly a relief that the dishes were washed. Now we could find a clean cup to have a cup of tea.

I have had many painful conditions attack my body at once- fibromyalgia, PMR, TMJ and knees that keep wobbling out of place and my lymphedema is so active that I can't wear my usual slippers. My feet and legs are too swollen.

Along with these painful conditions has come the need to sleep around the clock. So I have been remiss in keeping the dishes washed and ready and although I have been washing our clothes, we have been living out of the laundry basket. 

I know that's not ideal, but chronic illness and consequent no spoons has dictated my pace. When one has constant chronic pain, one's attention span is short and the beeping helps bring my attention back to the task at hand. As always, I needed a clean cup to make my tea this morning.

But I digress- back to beeping- I am glad my applicances bring me back into focus and come with bells and whistles..

I won't succumb to it...

 

I am currently unwell. My spoons have evaporated and everything that can ache or pain me, is. I am in a fibromyalgia flare.

We Aussies are in to our autumn or fall but the weather has been erratic with many days over 30C or 86F. With lots of rain to make it humid and steamy. It's bad weather for a Fibromite.

We have air conditioning but I have missed being able to go out into our back garden. So with temperatures forecast to be in the high 20's, I find I will be able to do that later on today.

I have managed to do some basic household chores. Our beds are made. I have tidied the kitchen and done a load of washing. 

There's a tray of sirloin steak out on the benchtop thawing. Later on in the afternoon I will peel some potatoes to mash and some pumpkin to go with it.

The birds are calling me. I am going to change the washing over and put it in the dryer then rest. Every Fibromite knows if you don't rest on bad days, a flare will last longer. 

After the next few chores, I am planning to go outside and read...and I won't succumb to false guilt.   

Setting things to rights

So today is Monday and unlike some people who hate Mondays, I quite like them. I see Monday as the first day of the week and it is a day to put things to rights.

Sundays are our sabbath and we only do those things that are truly necessary. After all, it's supposed to be a day of rest.

We chill out and watch online services and listen to worship music and nap. But with Monday comes the need to plan to incorporate those tasks that went undone yesterday. 

I usually have washing to do and at least one load of clean clothes to fold. I try to get caught up with that plus any dishes that need washing get put into the dishwasher.

For me the tasks that take the most time and are frequent flyers are washing folding and dishes.

Provided I am not in a fibromyalgia flare and have enough spoons, (and this is always unknown and erratic), I will tackle these today.

As I said, I follow Sylvia's Lists and I will loosely follow this for Monday..  

There's always a feeling of satisfaction when/if I can do these tasks on Monday's... but still, come to think of it... I always feel happy any day when I am setting things to rights..

It is what it is

 

So while I was still asleep, just after sunrise, Chris took some photos of our back garden.

He told me there were about 40 corellas eating the birdseed and meat scraps from dinner that I threw out after dinner.

Later on some rosellas joined them and after they left, the sparrows came down. Our place is like an airport.

Later on our cleaner from the Aged Care Provider is coming for a couple of hours and I will be straightening up the kitchen and loading the dishwasher as soon as I finish talking to you.

The washer's already going as I am washing some bedding for her to change the beds today. Of course, I will be using my dryer.

With fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica, I always use it. I have tried using my clothesline but the pain is really debilitating and I can't bear it. Like I always say, it is what it is.

There's plenty that I do.

As you may recall, I have help in housekeeping via the Australian Aged Care Home Package. 

My home cleaning schedule ensures most things are cleaned and you would think that I have it made. But there's always more things to do to run our house.

Not included is 

• Maintenance in between weekly cleans
• Pet care and feeding our cat Xena
• Washing and folding and occasional ironing
• Menu planning
• Grocery shopping online
• Cooking
• Kitchen cleaning and dishes
• Gathering rubbish for bin collection
• Budgeting and bill paying
• Scheduling doctors visits
• Updating prescriptions and filling pill containers for the week
• Organising social events occasionally

I am very grateful for the help I get but used to feel guilty that I needed it. This is false guilt and I have since gotten over it. 

Likewise, I have gotten over the feeling that I was lazy, but of course, when I consider how much I actually do, I realise I am far from it.  As well as my hobbies and blogging, there's plenty that I do . 

 

Memories of a vintage housekeeper

 

My mother was a good homemaker. Some of my earliest memories were of her hanging out washing on her long line held up by props.  She used to boil up the copper and honestly, she had the whitest washing ever.  She used Rinso to wash the clothes and Lux Flakes for delicates.

When I was really young, we didn't have hot water on tap, so Mum would boil up the kettle, fill the sink- a single sink- and she used a metal cage thing- pictured here with slivers of Velvet soap in it to soap up the water. Steel wool was the go for saucepans and the plates were washed with a foam rubber sponge.

Whilst she was washing the dishes, she would have the kettle on again to rinse them. Then we children would dry them for her. We had metered gas by way of a machine with a coin slot in it in the laundry. When the gas got low, Mum would put sixpence or a shilling in it...

We all bathed daily and our hot water was heated by way of a chip heater over the bath. I can still remember fighting over who was the child who was to be seated under it. It was scary to a kid's mind. In fact, I sometimes still dream of it- making sure the water tap was on before lighting the pilot light.

Pride of place in our living room was the clothes horse aka clothes airer. Mum was very careful to air all our clothes and she spent quite a lot of time arranging clothes on it daily.

Mum had it tough too because we four children were bed wetters. She worked very hard to keep up with it all. 

With all her neighbours finishing their chores by 9am, poor Mum was still washing the sheets. In fact, when they called on her for a cuppa, she would be flustered because she was inundated with work.

Mondays Mum "did through".  She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bath and toilet and ironed. She also polished the linoleum in the kitchen with her Hoover polisher. It was quite a chore, with applying polish, buffing it with the machine then redoing it with the lambswool pads.  Her Monday routine was as regular as the sun coming up in the morning. 

Everyday, she would also make the beds, do her washing, think about what was for tea that night, clean her kitchen and sweep the carpets with a carpet sweeper. Routines were written in stone.

Mum didn't have a car, in fact Dad didn't even have one. She would catch the bus into town and shop for groceries which were delivered to our house. No plastic bags: the bags were brown paper...

I remembered how hard she worked the day I held her gnarled hand as she passed. She certainly loved her home and family... 

I am so glad that God honours the hardworking woman. In writing her eulogy, I included that well-known and loved verse from Proverbs 31 and when it was read, everyone of us nodded our heads in agreement and acknowledgement. She was blessed. 

Memories of a well kept house we were never ashamed to call home will always be dear, along with the memories of a tired but diligent homemaker and her wonderful serving of our family, and then her  second husband's. 

Yes, they're happy memories of a vintage housekeeper

It is what it is! indeed!

 

In my efforts to still be mistress of my home in spite of severe health issues, I have tried to pare down my necessary daily tasks.

I can forgo doing the washing for a day or two. I can not make my bed or do much cleaning. But every single day I find I must cook, which is a necessity that brings the second necessity of the day: doing the dishes.

Oh I have left them before during a fibromyalgia flare. But I have learned that they seem to multiply like rabbits- my kitchen sink and bench are testimony to this!

I have left the dishes until the morning or even until the evening, but the mess on the plates and cutlery makes the job not only labourious, but "yucky". So I have learned to keep abreast of them.

Now I know some people use paper plates to avoid doing the dishes, but I am old school. Besides, everything tastes better on a china plate or in a glass or cup. I detest polystyrene cups or picnic cups.

Occasionally during a bout of angina or fibromyalgia or even a day of back pain, I am happy to order take away meals... but it is such a nasty blow to the budget that this is rather rare.

So then I am now convinced that I must acquiesce to doing the dishes daily as we absolutely must eat- there's nothing else I can do about it except cook.

Finding two daily essential jobs wasn't easy because there are so many more things one could count as essential. 

More over, one thing chronic illness has taught me is that spoons dictate not only one's lifestyle but standards.

One can either accept less high standards or die trying to sustain them. And given the effort in just breathing and being some days, the standards become more achievable.

I have had to accept what the young ones say, "It is what it is!"  Indeed! It is! 

A common thread

 

I recently saw this beautiful painting that evoked happy memories of both my childhood and my mothering days.

With a large family of seven to wash for, I usually washed three loads of laundry daily and hung it out.

So many years ago,  and a time when the days were long but the years were short. Now mostly a distant memory. I now longer can hang my clothes out.

Fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica has put paid to hanging the washing on the line. Flexing my sore muscles is so painful these days. I am forced to use the dryer.

I really loved the smell of line dried clothes and delighted in this painting with the children in the yard. 

Hanging the clothes out to me is synonymous with family life. It speaks of service to family, activity and life.

Globally, I think we can all concede that washing on the line is a common thread that unites the human family.

When you got no spoons everyone has to help!

So my respite from pain has come to a sorry end. I have been hit with the Mother of all Flares. Just breathing is too much effort and sleep is brief and light. The truck that hit me didn't even stop. 

I have been pacing myself majoring on keeping the dishes and the washing up to date. It hasn't been too difficult really as I have planned in advance for the inevitable fibromyalgia flare that comes after a respite.

Most people who don't suffer from fibromyalgia would call me a pessimist, but we Fibromites know how fickle our body is and how greedy it is for spoons. We never can have enough spoons to say we are energetic. Spoons are energy measures

It's enough to have enough spoons to take a shower some days, and we usually suffer after for it in spite of the pride in ourselves that we made the effort and did it..and the luxurious feeling that being dainty brings.

No, we are realists who accept that our bodies are treacherous. They lure us into a false sense of joy in a seeming abundance of spoons- well enough spoons to make us believe that we can change the sheets, bake a cake, vacuum the lounge room or go shopping. In real life shopping, not just on the computer.

Knowing better really, but delirious in the freedom that a few spoons brings, our joy knows no bounds and we actually dare to live like we did before Fibro claimed our lives, bodies and joy. And we keep living in the moment full of joie de vie until the joy and spoons are gone.  

No, I knew from 20 years experience that my respite from pain would be short-lived and it was.  But because of planning for it, it hasn't seen me in a total mess, overwhelmed with meals and mess.

I had my dishwasher and I kept up with the dishes. I did a load of washing a day and I dried it in the dryer. But my greatest life saver was my frozen dinners I have in the freezer. They saved the day.

In all honesty, though I haven't kept the house running smoothly all by myself. I have had to enlist Chris to help me with stacking and unstacking the dishwasher and I asked him to put his own clean clothes away as soon as they came out of the dryer.

He has been really good actually- a blessing really. He also encourages me to take a nana nap, and feeling so fatigued and sore, I am so glad. We all need a hand when we are feeling so wretched and when you got no spoons everyone has to help! 

My Cleaning Schedule

           

As you know, I have now been approved for 2 hours of  home help a week. It has been a difficult time lately with a fibromyalgia flare that never seems to end. 

I have my sister here with us for the moment, so having some extra help especially in bedmaking, will help me immensely.

Just keeping the washing up to date, menu planning, cooking, dishes, food shopping, bill paying, and organising medicines for the week and ordering them from the doctor and chemist, is enough for me to cope with.

So this extra 2 hours will help me immensely. Maybe then my fibromyalgia flare will finally go away!

 

WEEK - MEL-6/9/2024

KITCHEN

MY BED AND CHRIS' BED

TOILETS/ ENSUITE

FLOORS

WEEK - TANYA -13/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED

TOILETS/ENSUITE

FLOORS

WEEK - MEL- 20/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED

TOILETS / SHOWER

FLOORS

WEEK - TANYA- 27/9/2024

KITCHEN

GUEST BED AND MY BED 

TOILETS / SHOWER

FLOORS

It's gonna be a PJ's day.

 

The rain is pouring down but it's not cold just pleasantly warm after the last few days of summer heat. Xena is still asleep on my bed.

Chris is watching TV and I have got the breakfast dishes soaking in hot soapy water. The house is tidy and cosy. Life is good.

I woke up early and left Chris to sleep. I heard the birds calling each other and watched as my beloved magpies came down searching for some left over sausage among the rice dish I put out for them last night.

Carefully opening the sliding door that opens to the garden where they congregate waiting for me to feed them, they sat only inches away from me. Gradually they are coming closer to feeding from my hand. 

The washing machine is churning away at the load of clothes I am washing. I try to do a load a day so as not to use up all my spoons in one hit, folding them and putting them away. 

People with fibromyalgia would understand the need to pace oneself in order to achieve some completion of household tasks. There's so much job satisfaction in even doing one load of washing and putting it away. 

I have some steak thawing for dinner tonight. I am planning on cooking a vegetable intensive beef stew.

With the cooler weather and rain, the menu begs for a stew...

I still haven't changed out of my pajamas and it's 1pm but I don't really care. We aren't going anywhere and I am feeling pretty laid back and a tad achy. It's the change in weather.

It was a pretty slow but pleasant morning with Chris making me some breakfast and a cup of tea. The panadol is kicking in helping me with the aches and pains of fibromyalgia that's reacting to the weather change, but I am glad to report that it's not a fibro flare per se.

So in spite of aches and pains, I am feeling pretty good today, but even so, it's gonna be a PJ's day. 

Ya gotta laugh

                                             

I got some of things I wanted to do done, but alas, it came with a cost. I have another flare of fibromyalgia.

I can hardly move and hurt everywhere. It doesn't help that we have thunderstorms on the horizon  either. So today I have only washed my dishes and I will cook dinner. It's all I can manage.

All our bedding is washed and dried and when our cleaner comes Monday, she will put more clean sheets on. I just did the minkie blankets and our doonas.

I must say that drying the minkie blankets in the dryer has given them a slightly grey tinge, but they are still soft and smell great. Most importantly, they are clean.

My plan for the remainder of the day is to cook bangers and mash for dinner. I will take some Tramadol because my knees are hurting as well as the usual fibro pain.

Xena was outside for a bit and was attacked by a horrible Siamese cat who stalks her. I ran to help her and damaged both my sore knees. I am in too much pain to get down the steps and walk to the back garden to pick up my slipper that I threw at it. 

That Siamese cat didn't want to budge and would not leave the back garden. He's stubborn and has worn out his welcome. Much like my meniscus pain in my worn out knees: joking.  Ya gotta laugh. 

Not falling off the vine

 

Since turning 70 last May, I have noticed a rapid decline in our health. Heart issues are worsening, pains are hurting, fibromyalgia is making spoons are scarce and my mood is darkening.

We both are enjoying the peace in our home that has been jealously guarded and nurtured. Quite simply, we cannot cope with other's dramas.So much so that we have become reclusive.

The days when we don't have to leave our home are cherished days. And even though we make a point to get dressed each morning, we are not adverse to having a couple of Pajama Days occasionally.

In short, we are wearing out. Physically, mentally and emotionally, we are spent. I can say that we aren't spiritually spent because we pray and worship a lot. It does help.

I have been posting a little spasmodically because of excessive fatigue, and I have decided that from tomorrow onward, I will post in a diary form recording bloods, blood pressure and so on. Plus anything else the LORD puts on my heart.

Today is Sunday and I have just done the least I can do to keep our home manageable. With the fatigue being bad and no spoons, I took a nana nap and it turned into a grandma nap. Three hours.

But I woke up and felt a bit better and managed to fold some clothes that had spent their new clean life in the laundry basket...

Anyway, I had a comforting thought which I will share: there's an old saying that the aged say... "I am so ripe that I am falling off the vine!" Not very comforting. 

But the next thought was comforting- physically, yes I am- but spiritually, not so. Instead I am grafted into the Vine- Jesus and He sustains me and gets me through this painful path called life...

So, with His help, I am definitely not falling off the vine!