Especially during this rough ride..

 

It has been a rough ride over the last few weeks. Medical matters. Living matters. Family matters.

All the stuff that makes up our life at the moment has graced us with both good and bad events.

Firstly, our new doctor has taken my lymphedema seriously and ordered antibiotics for the bad infection that has overtaken my legs. Ignored by doctors until last week. I have had this infection for 5 years! We are so glad we have at last found a decent doctor..

So three days running, we have had to leave home and see doctors and have blood tests. Not a big deal, most people would think. But with struggles to get enough spoons to shower and get dressed, then to actually get there, it is indeed a big deal...

My kidneys are failing with diabetes.. 56. My infection in the legs is sky high. I have been given Clindamycin. I was also given statins which I tried and the muscle pain escalated 100%. I am not taking them. My fibromyalgia muscle pain is more than enough pain! 

The day after the doctor visits, Chris saw the opthalmologist for a review on his sixth cranial nerve palsy. He is no longer seeing double and has been cleared to drive again. We are praising the LORD that Chris's stroke was not too disabling. We both know it could have been much worse! 

And so, this weekend I have been bed ridden. Breathing is enough with the fibro flare and I have had trouble keeping awake. So I slept. and tried not to dwell on possibly having to move out from here..

I am actually posting this at 2am. My circadian rhythm is all out of whack. But I will be needing to try to sleep again in a minute or I will be no good for tomorrow...

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that God has answered our prayers with Chris's eyes. Just another chapter of our life when we can see that His Hand has always been on us. Especially during this rough ride..

I feel sick at the thought

 

So a couple of days ago, we had a visit from a real estate man with the news that the owner of our rented home is selling.

We have been here for 16 months. Our bodies are still feeling the effects of the move. So receiving the news made me feel physically sick.

Chris has recently had a stroke and is recovering slowly from it and I have grossly swollen legs and right arm from lymphedema.  We need this move like a hole in the head.

It was strange that I had just said to Chris that morning that I feel like this is the nicest home I have lived in and that I have emotionally unpacked my suitcase... then this.

I have been praying that the home is sold to an investor so that we can stay here. But I can't see them refusing a sale if it's not.

Then of course, maybe the LORD has something planned in moving that we don't know about yet. So I have prayed in the sense of  "not my will, but Yours be done!" 

I am currently having the heat of lymphodema, polymyalgia rheumatica, angina and back pain, all marinaded in a fibromyalgia flare that has me wanting to stay in bed a lot.

Also, the worst of this is that we are in limbo... we might stay. or we might go. 

I can hardly type the word go... because truthfully, I feel sick at the thought.

I can dream, can't I?

 

So I was visiting Chris at the hospital after his stroke, and was making painful slow steps with my walker along the miles of corridors to the lift.

Suddenly I was met by a rather large robotic sweeper cleaning the floors. He was almost as tall as me, and moved at about the same speed.

I knew that after I got off the lift that there would be a lot more walking to do until I got to my husband's room. And I was already feeling breathless and exhausted.

My fibro was flaring, my knees were hurting and my heart was paining me. Breathing was an effort, so much so that I almost felt the need to hang my arms around its neck and hitch a ride...

I smiled wryly to myself as I pushed the button in the lift to the Avon floor where Chris's room was. It will only be a matter of time before we have automated wheelchairs ready to whisk us to wherever we need to go in these places.

I could just see it in my mind's eye, gladly sitting in one whilst holding onto Chris's sportsbag of freshly laundered pajamas and toiletries for his stay.. 

These robotic AI directed chairs will have to have a name... and then a direction... yes, I can see it now, "Morning, Jeeves! I am glad you are here! Take me to Avon, and don't spare the horses!"... 

As I limped along, I thought how wonderful these chairs would be, but they won't probably be available in my life time... but meanwhile, I can dream, can't I?

                                       

I have never been so embarrassed!

 

So as you know, my husband Chris has recently been a week in hospital. We saw many different doctors in the lead up to his diagnosis of Cranial Sixth Nerve Palsy caused by a stroke.

As Chris was not aware of all the medicines he was on, he left it up to me to discuss all medical matters and medications.

I was already stressed and feeling the effects of a fibromyalgia flare. Truthfully, I was exhausted and hurt all over. 

It was an effort to stay awake every day as I sat by his bedside but I wanted to know what was ailing him.

Eventually the doctor in charge of his case came in to update us. I had an important question to ask him and I knew I would forget it if I didn't ask him immediately while it was fresh in my mind. Fibromyalgia does that...

So jumping straight into his conversation with Chris, I told him that my fibromyalgia was flaring and that I had to ask him something important before I forgot.... and I apologised for interrupting yada yada...

Then I forgot. Silence. Expectation. Pregnant pause.

I was so busy explaining my fibro fog and flare and apologising, that the reason for the interruption was over. The question hung in swirling mists of fibro brain fog and I sat red faced and embarrassed.

The doctor looked at me and waited, allowing me time to gather my thoughts and when they weren't forthcoming, he resumed his conversation.

I hate fibro. It rules my life and ruins my credibility as an intelligent woman. It pains me and weakens me, enveloping me in a cloak of weariness that no amount of rest can cure. And it embarrasses me.

I have never been so embarrassed! 

So very grateful

So we were watching TV together when I noticed Chris was shutting one eye and then the other. Then he told me he had a really bad headache.

I gave him some paracetamol and he fell asleep on the couch after taking it.

A day or two afterward, he was looking at me and I noticed his left eye was turning in. That's when the double vision came into play...

After putting up with it for a week, Chris decided it wasn't getting better, so we went to the ED.

They noticed his right eye stares straight ahead, making the left eye turn like it should, but causing double vision which made him feel nauseous.

They noticed his blood pressure was quite high and started him on more medication for it. They ordered a Cat Scan on his head and admitted him.

The CT scan showed no abnormalities, so they followed up with a MRI which did. Chris had had a stroke in his cerebellum.

It was not a bleed but rather a blockage, and they believe this caused his double vision known as Cranial sixth nerve palsy. They don't know if it will be permanent or not.

They are treating his blood pressure,  upping his insulin for the diabetes and putting him on aspirin as a blood thinner, as well as giving him statins for his high cholesterol.

He will be treated by patching one eye to avoid double vision and taking the aforementioned medications. This will be punctuated with GP visits, physiotherapy visits for eye exercises, endocrinologist and neurologist.

My fibromyalgia has flared as I am exhausted. I stayed everyday of his week long hospital stay from 10-7pm. The weather was changing all the time as we are in our spring and I have had angina because the stress was mind numbing..

We are so very grateful that the stroke wasn't worse and we are praying believing that the eye nerve damage will sort itself out. Also we are praying that he doesn't have another stroke.

Mostly we thank the LORD for another chance at life together..