So today I woke with no spoons and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. But I really want to start this journey of reclaiming my house, so I bit the bullet and took my first step.
As the kitchen is always the first area that calls for attention, I decided to start there. I had cleaned up last night and only had a few dishes to take out of the dishwasher.All I had to clean up was the breakfast and morning tea dishes.
Fibromyalgia flares see that I simply can't do mornings, and as you can see, I couldn't raise a gallop until nearly lunchtime. All I had managed to do was pull up our beds, put a load of washing in and run my irobot, Sadie.
So by the time I had done the kitchen, it was time for a nana nap as my angina was playing up and I was finding just breathing enough.
So I had a nana nap which lasted a few hours, and I came out again but I still had no spoons to speak of.
My plan was to wipe down the kitchen benches or counter tops and start preparing dinner, but I had to leave it for the moment. Chris made me a cup of tea, we discussed what we would eat tonight and I sat down to talk to you.
I realise most people would say that I haven't accomplished a lot, but believe me, when you wake with no spoons at all, it is a lot. I know the benches need wiping down, but basically the kitchen's clean and I can start on cooking dinner as soon as I recoup.
I don't allow myself to suffer from "false guilt" anymore and I don't allow myself to be dictated to by my OCD perfectionist healthy woman of the past. She doesn't exist anymore.
Everything we do is kudos to us Sacrificial Home Keepers. We push ourselves to achieve little by the standards of "normals", but to us, we have run a marathon.
So in a minute after I post this post, I will be cooking sweet and sour pork and rice. And then I will pray for enough spoons to see me sort the kitchen out- I hate getting up to a dirty kitchen and if I can do it before bed, it will be a gift from my previous self to my future self.
Tonight is bin night, so I will help Chris gather the rubbish and put the bins out. Come to think of it, they go out more often than we do these days! But it is what it is! With no spoons for both of us, staying home is a pleasure.
Anyway, I have at least achieved something today- working. pacing. resting. planning. It all adds up with here a little, there a little in the daily life of this Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper.
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