It's a good job they purr so nicely!

 

So I have been feeling so tired lately. Lymphedema, angina, spinal problems, painful knees and joints marinaded in a background of fibromyalgia, have made it difficult to sleep properly.

My two cats fight over me, battling for who can sleep closest to me. If it wasn't so exhausting, I would be flattered. So I never feel rested anymore.  

Mid morning, I find myself needing to take a nana nap just to get through the day. The cats Xena and Joey are mewling around me, but I still manage to nod off anyway.

I know that they will eventually settle down and possibly one of them will join Chris for a snooze. What can go wrong? I muse. Plenty, I have found.

For example there will be a resolution of a Mexican standoff by one of them attacking the other for the right to sit on my chest. Shrieking is followed by lots of fur... and I am rudely roused from my slumber.

Xena has often climbed up and tapped my open mouth kissing me awake. I am not amused.

Joey is the newest member of the family and shyly holds back but decides to viciously attack my carpet or armchair, pulling threads and even in sleep, I hear it.

I yell at him to stop the scratching, and he skittles off, sulking for a few hours and showing me his back in protest... he is of course hurt to the max...

Or if these scenarios don't happen, in a rare fit of co-operation and alliance, they both will skid on the laminated floors during a well orchestrated fit of mutual zoomies as soon as I lay down. 

Not for the first time, I wonder why I love them so much and why I always forgive them. And I know I will...and they know I will. 

It's a good job they purr so nicely! 

The SPAM we don't hate.

 

As I said yesterday, I have overwhelming fatigue and pain, mainly from fibromyalgia. So like this meme, I too am creating a simple life.

Lately I have been thinking about creating nourishing breakfasts that don't take all my spoons away before I have even started the day.

So today I came across a simple breakfast of fried SPAM on toast with a poached egg over the top of it.

I decided it was just what the doctor ordered and am going to prepare it for us tomorrow.  

Here is the recipe  for the SPAM we don't hate...

If not now: when?

 

This fatigue from chronic illness- mainly fibromyalgia is wearing thin. My patience with myself is almost over.

Lately I am too tired to do more than 5 minutes of cooking, washing, shopping for food and even paying bills.

I sleep fitfully, waking myself up with groans of pain as I try to find a comfortable position in my sleep.

My muscles feel like they're tearing, my head aches and I literally hurt from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.

I have been taking the advice of my doctor at the pain management clinic- playing Candy Crush to take my mind off the pain. A game lasts less than 5 minutes as well.

I realise I sound like a whinger, but I am truly over this rotten condition. And there seems to be no end to it as a flare now takes residence in my body but never leaves..

Each morning I wake up, I try to gather some spoons or energy, but once the kettle's boiled and the toast is eaten, that's it for me.

I push myself to take our bloods to monitor our diabetes, I inject Chris and myself, take my tablets and mindlessly drink my tea and eat my toast. And I wait.

Fed, watered and rested, I watch the birds outside eat the food we put out for them last night, and I wonder if I will get a breath of wind under my sails this morning. Because really, if not now: when?

I am sure she does it deliberately!

 

So I finally crawled into bed a few nights ago, glad to see a day of unbearable pain from fibromyalgia, bad knees and angina, drag to an end.

My little cat Xena was under my covers, sleeping with me like she does every night.

I was in the uneasy sleep where you are aware of pain but not quite awake. I must have been groaning or making strange noises.

Gradually, I became aware that Xena was near my face, rubbing her face on mine, gently tapping me with her paws and sniffing my breath.

I pretended to still be asleep to see what she would do. After a final sniff of my breath, she seemed reassured that her mother was still alive, and returned under the covers but she kept her back against my body... purring.

Somehow her purring was very soothing and as I reflected on a loving cat's healing ability to calm, I fell asleep.

I once read about purring being calming for us humans... and not for the first time, I felt the need to share in the blessings of  owning a cat. I highly recommend it for us Sacrificial Home Keepers.

Xena's purring often occurs when she settles beside me and as I said, it does calm me. She is a very affectionate cat. I am sure she does it deliberately!