Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus.
My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.
My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.
My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.
Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...
I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70 in a few weeks and is unable to do housework with me.
I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.
As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore.
So, I am throwing in the towel.... well, mostly. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online), cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.
In saying I am throwing in the towel, I forgot how much I still will be doing. I guess I will still be the mistress of our home!
Why do we always struggle to ask for help? It sounds like you will still be doing plenty and that getting help is wise. Thanks for sharing with us at Encouraging Hearts and Home.
ReplyDeleteI think because being a good home keeper is intrinsic to our feminine make up, we try to do it well. It is a bit galling that I simply can't do it all myself anymore. Thanks for commenting today, Mother of 3
DeleteI am sorry to hear of your continuing health struggles - I know it can be very hard to accept help for tasks you've always been able to do yourself, but I am grateful you will be able to have someone help relieve your burden! Blessings to you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteThank you for those kind words, Linda. As much as I am disappointed that I cannot cope by myself any more, I am equally grateful for the help that is coming soon. Thanks for commenting today.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you are able to reach out for help. I know how hard it is to relinquish control of our homes to someone else, but at times it is what has to be done. I sympathize with you over the Fibromyalgia. It is a constant pain and hurt. I hope your health improves.
ReplyDeleteThanks for those kind words, Unknown.
ReplyDeleteIt is so important to reach out for, and accept help. It's hard, but I don't see it as relinquishing control. Rather you are taking control of your situation and this makes you, more than ever, mistress of your home. You have a lot of health challenges, so please do take care. Thank you for being a part of the Hearth and Soul Link Party community.
ReplyDeleteApril, thanks for those encouraging words. I am feeling a bit better about all this. I am looking forward to having my floors clean again. Thanks for commenting today.
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