Just when we came up for air!

 

So today I had just finished ordering my groceries online when I received the news that all of our home state, Victoria, is going into a five day lockdown starting tonight at midnight. It was a snap decision.

I have been preparing for this, so it didn't catch us unawares. Well, the timing caught us unaware, but the possibility that we could be forced to stay home again didn't.

Since the lifting of restrictions that saw us locked down for nine months, I have been gradually adding extra tinned foods, non perishables and drinks to our pantry. 

I have been gradually getting extra prescriptions and insulin injections made up in case of another snap decision by the Victorian government to enforce a lockdown. I am glad I did.

Although it is supposed to be for five days, with this virus mutating and so on, one never knows. It is  best to be prepared.

With no visitors allowed to our home and nowhere to go,  it will be easy to recover from my most recent fibromyalgia flare that has seen me unable to think clearly, let alone write a blog post. 

I won't be feeling guilty for going to bed during the day, but even so, I would prefer the freedom to come or go as I feel led. 

We Victorians are getting old hands at being cooped up at home and it can be depressing. Especially as we were just starting to relax and relish going for drives and visiting family. 

It was certainly a lovely time and we should have known it wouldn't last long. Typical of events with this horrid virus... it took us back to nine months lockdown just past and coming just when we came up for air!

   

A bit of a wash then au revoir!

So today our fifth wheeler is getting cleaned on the inside and after that we are going to take it to get cleaned outside and put it up for sale.

I have mixed feelings about it really. Our dreams of touring round Australia turned to dust when I tore my meniscus in my left knee and since then I have also damaged my right knee. I walk like Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz! 

The RV was well suited to the Fibromyalgia lifestyle as it was small and easy to clean. But after tearing my meniscus, even the two steps to the bedroom and ensuite were too difficult to negotiate. In the end, I was housebound as it has seven steps at the entry.

We haven't thrown out the idea of travelling altogether. Eventually after selling the fiver, we will buy a campervan that is easy for me to get in and out of and go away for weekends. That is the hope anyway.

Today's to do list:

•  I have dishes to do, 
•  make our bed
• fold a load of washing from yesterday.
• Fish, chips and salad for dinner

I'm not lazy!

You would not believe over the years how many people have shown their ignorance of fibromyalgia by gasping in horror when I say I do not have the strength or muscle power to even sweep my floor.

Because fibromyalgia is an invisible illness, people often think (and sometimes even voice) that I am lazy and a malingerer.

They cannot see the pain as my muscles and ligaments feel like they are tearing. The pain in my neck and shoulders and arms can be intense and it can last long after the floor has been swept.

Usually, it's my lack of spoons that stops me from doing cleaning, but it's muscular as well most times. I do have muscles, but they are like sparrows' knee caps! 

I honestly can no longer sweep, mop or vacuum. It sometimes gets to me because I know how most people think. Nevertheless, it is I who has to bear the pain of those tasks and the pain robs me of my rest and often is carried into the next day.

There are so many muscles involved in sweeping, mopping and vacuuming that come in to play with repetitious movements. Because they aren't used often, they whine and complain loudly.

Rather than pick up my broom I would rather put up with the rolling eyes and snide remarks of people who haven't even heard of fibromyalgia. I know what it is. I know who and what I am. And it's not lazy.

Today's tasks are:

• one load of washing
• Cook spaghetti bolognaise for dinner

When I do, I don't!

 

When I was a young woman, I ironed clothes as soon as they were bought in from the line. It was something as regular as clock work.

Gradually as the babies came and later on, spinal problems, it dwindled until I only ironed what was strictly necessary, that is- what was seen.

Twenty three years ago, my iron was kept in the linen press and only saw the light of day for service on a high holiday such as a wedding or funeral! 

As fibromyalgia overtook my life and abilities, my iron was boxed for posterity and now serves as a door stop to keep my back laundry door open when the dryer is in use!

Life for a sacrificial home keeper is difficult enough with what absolutely must be done to keep a home. There are things that must be done daily and goodness knows, there are little enough spoons or energy to do that, let alone lift a heavy appliance and stand or sit to iron clothes.

With sleep a precious but scarce commodity, coupled with tearing sore muscles, we must keep our home making simple. Ironing is simply too taxing on the chronically ill woman to seriously consider as part of a daily routine.

At first, I was particular about how I hung my washing out, in order to leave no creases and so minimise the visual effect of unironed clothes. But over recent years, polymyalgia rheumatica and arthritis vyed with fibromyalgia for first place in pain stakes.

I could no longer lift my arms to peg the washing out, and I was forced to make use of my dryer every time.

By doing just a load of washing a day, it doesn't build up and I find with less clothes in the dryer, that they come out almost wrinkle free. I try to grab them as soon as the drying cycle is over. All they require is a quick shake as I fold them and put them away.

Don't get me wrong! The OCD and perfectionist in me baulks at having to do this, but the practical and pragmatic inner woman says it is OK. It is simply my new normal.

There's plenty of tasks each day vying for first place in sucking on my limited spoons, so when I have a few spoons and I am tempted to drag my iron out of its' box: I don't!

Today's lists are:

• Clean kitchen
• Do a load of washing
• Cook chicken garlic breasts and mashed potato for dinner

Keeping our head up

 

So yesterday we watched the election most of the day. We prayed for justice to prevail and praised God. By the afternoon, we were feeling such a heaviness that we turned it off.

I came into my study and praised and worshiped God until the heaviness abated. 

I didn't get a lot done in my house except wash my dishes and do a load of washing. I sat watching the news events unfold as I folded the clothes.  

Dinner was a frozen dinner because we both found we had lost our appetite. With my fibromyalgia  worsened by stress and flaring again, it was an easy fix!  

Today, we have an errand to do and a check of our Post Office Box is necessary, but that will be all outside the home for now.

We remain in a state of prayer and will bring all this deception before the LORD. We are also praying for all who long for justice and righteousness to prevail. 

God is still in control... but we who follow the path of justice and Truth will be having a bumpy ride.

We all have to remember that as the picture here says: we have to live though these bad days to get to the good ones.   Let's be keeping our head up!

She would have made a great mother!

So last night I was watching a FB video on a cat which had recently had kittens. They were squeaking loudly, all trying to latch onto their mother for their milk, and I just watched, enjoying those cute little fluff balls.

Suddenly, Xena jumped up to my computer and parked herself in front of the screen, totally absorbed with the vision in front of her, her ears forward as she listened to the babies and their ear piercing hungry cries.

Just after I took this picture of her, she stood up and frantically looked at the back of the computer, walked around it, sniffing and was totally distraught.

She turned to me in desperation, totally convinced there were kittens there who needed attention. It was sad to see her imploring me to do something. I did.

I turned the video off and comforted Xena. When she had calmed down, I decided that it was not fair to do this to her.  As a rescue cat, she was spayed at 7 months, so she never got the chance to have kittens. 

She would have made a great mother.

Today I have to reserve my spoons as I battle fibro and have some errands to do. On my to do list is:

• Go to chemist again for scripts they had to get in
• Buy some groceries that I couldn't get online
• Do washing
• Cook a shepherd's pie for dinner

The kettle's always on!

In our house, I think apart from the computer and our TV, the most used thing is the kettle. It is on from the moment we open our eyes until we close them. And often in between.

Tea soothes one so much. Anything from bad news, loneliness, a coming together for fellowship, a celebration, or a pick me up for depression. Certainly it's a helpful balm for dissolving pain killers and such, and it's a comfort in times of illness or pain of fibromyalgia. Oh yes, all these things and more is an excuse for a cuppa at our place and so the tea kettle is nearly always warm!

Such is our love for tea that even our kitchen curtains have kettles and tea cups on them. 

My plans for today are:

• Clean kitchen
• Order groceries online and pick them up
• Go to chemist
• Cook steak, mashed potatoes and salad for dinner

My bed's calling my name!

 

It's raining cats and dogs here and the temperature is cold. It's supposed to be summer here in Australia, but it feels like a winter's day.

After having the cooler on yesterday, in stark contrast, we have the heater on. I am so glad that I don't have to go out today.

This changeable weather is causing havoc with my fibromyalgia. It's predictable that it would. So today I have just a few tasks planned.

• Clean my kitchen
• Make our bed 
• Cook curried beef with vegetables

My fingers are throbbing with pain today, as is my coccyx. With it being broken, it is also to be expected. I may apply some heat to it later on as the cold seems to make it ache more.

I think my bones may be brittle after years of prednisolone for my polymyalgia rheumatica. Hence the break of the coccyx. Yet I can't take extra calcium because I am a chronic kidney stone maker (over 50 bilateral) My stones are calcium oxylate bathed in uric acid. I am on Zyloprim to reduce the acid.

It's a predictable start to the New Year. I have been feeling a little reprieve from fibromyalgia pain and then- boom! inclement weather has blown me away again!

So I best get off my computer and start on the dishes. I can see a nana nap in my future and that's not a bad thing given the circumstances!  I can hear my bed calling my name!

A welcome break

 

So yesterday, just after talking about kookaburras being prolific here, I was washing the dishes at my sink, when a baby kookaburra burst out laughing on my back fence.

As it turned out, his Mum wasn't far away, joining him in a chorus of laughter from my clothesline. By the time I grabbed my phone to record this for you, they had disappeared.

We have a very good feeding ground with abundant water and food in our back garden which has meant a lot of breeding goes on here. We love it.

These agapanthus plants have just blossomed and make a beautiful display in the backyard as well as at my kitchen window.  Some are white, but most are deep blue which is my favourite.

My fibromyalgia is so bad today with the inclement weather. Even my fingers are aching. I am just waiting for my pain killers to work. Not that they do much.

On today's to do list is washing and dishes. So far I have done two loads of washing- dried in the dryer and folded and put away by Chris. I usually do a load a day, but Chris's site where he had an abcess removed bled under the shower yesterday and I had to call an ambulance.

While we were waiting for them, I rolled a clean towel up and we applied pressure to the wound. There was a good deal of blood and when we transferred him to our bed to look at the wound, I had to cover the bed in clean towels to protect it. Consequently I had a lot more washing to do today.

Apparently I did the right thing by applying pressure to his wound and by the time the ambulance got here, the heavy bleeding had stopped. He didn't require going to hospital, thank goodness. But it did give us both a fright.

Even though I am mindful of the amount of electricity using the dryer is costing us, I find when my fibromyalgia is bad that it is actually worth it. In comfort and spoons, money sometimes has to be spent.

My bed is clean but unmade today as I really think I will have to give in to my pain and fatigue and take a nana nap later.

Dinner is farmhouse chicken in the slow cooker. I am so grateful for my hand maidens on days like today.

I am hoping to see the baby kookaburra with his mum again today.  They are always welcome at our place and were a lovely break from the dramas of the morning...

We only live once

 The Victorian Government has lifted some of the travelling bans here and so we decided to go for a long drive today. We were so glad to be able to go visit our daughter who also lives in Gippsland. 

We were overjoyed to see a double rainbow on our way home. It was so vivid and we felt like we were actually driving through it. 

Yesterday was a day of severe fibromyalgia pain, but I decided to try to focus on positives and I didn't have to look far. The same daughter we visited today has had leukaemia and she had a phone consult yesterday from her haemotologist, who informed her that she was still in remission.  

Laying in bed last night, I tried to ignore the aching muscles, stiff neck and back and I decided to dwell on the many ways I have been blessed daily. Certainly the blood results were praiseworthy. I fell asleep praising and thanking God for the miracle of her life. 

I woke up still in pain, as the weather was inclement, but I needed to go to the chemist, so I forced myself to get dressed and go. We then proceeded to see our daughter, glad to be able to at last visit someone and drive in the car! 

I know I will most likely wake up in pain tomorrow, but I weighed it up and decided that seeing my girl and going for a drive would be worth it. So I will plan the next few days accordingly.

I will be preparing an easy stew in the slow cooker tomorrow.  I will be doing just the essentials in the house- for me that is putting clean washing away and doing tonight's dishes. With my arms tingling and feeling like my muscles and tendons are tearing, I won't be doing them tonight. They will be there in the morning...

Life with fibromyalgia is a juggling act and a life of constantly meting out spoons and rest breaks. Every day one has to decide if a certain activity is worth the pain to follow it. Sometimes it is.

We have to weigh up the satisfaction and pleasure of today against the certain knowledge of a painful tomorrow. We often have to choose to live and we suffer physically for it.

Fibromites have to plan to live or we will die inside through boredom, loneliness and regret. We must know that we could cocoon ourselves today only to find we suffer tomorrow anyway.

Along with the pain of overprotecting ourselves, comes the feeling of regret. Choose carefully and try to find joy every day. We only live once.

Spring has sprung

I let Xena out this morning and was greeted by a lovely warm day with cherry blossoms on the tree in our neighbour's back yard.

Xena ran to the plastic box of rainwater we leave for the birds to drink and bathe in. She loves fresh rainwater.

The birds started calling immediately they saw me, expecting something to eat. They usually gather en masse and call together, which frightens our timid cat away.

So as soon as she finished drinking, she ran off to the side of the house where she could get some sun in peace.

We have some lovely sunny days forecast for this week and it does the soul good. As does seeing all the trees in bud, blooming white or pink blossoms all along the 20 km drive to the closest town.

I love fresh air, and it has been a joy to throw our windows open and let the breeze and sunshine in. With being home 90% of the week, I can think of no nicer place to be than here when spring has sprung.

Fresh out!

So with Victoria locked down due to the Corona Virus, shopping online has been the norm for most people who usually shop in person.

Due to fibromyalgia and trying to avoid getting the virus, shopping online for my groceries has been the way I choose to shop. Until today.

Doing my list, I was getting frustrated at the amount of things I need being temporarily out of stock, so in the end Chris and I decided to go to our nearest Aldi. 

Disinfecting our hands and trolley and wearing masks, we skirted the aisles as quickly as we could. Having already made a list for Woolworths online, I knew what was needed and we were able to fly around there in about half an hour.

As soon as we got to the car and loaded the groceries into the boot, we got in, took our masks off and sanitised our hands.

Aldi does not offer home delivery, but even so, it is my preferred choice because I get more value for money. However, until Rona is over, I will still do a shopping list online and see just what I can order.

Most products in the store are available, but I still prefer to shop online. By doing the list before shopping day, I can see if it's possible to buy our food that way. Most likely with the current trend, most of what I need is fresh out! 

And Baby makes three!

 

For the first time in ages, I have a few spoons and I have been having a few days of respite from my fibromyalgia flare.

It is forecast to rain over the next few days, and the weather is cold, so I probably will find this respite all too brief. But, we live in hope.

I have been taking stock of our pantry and fridge because many abattoir workers have been taken ill with the virus and only one abattoir in Victoria remains empty. Which means that there will soon be a shortage of meat and in particular, mince.

Also here the Covid cases are mounting fast and we have been given stay at home orders. So I will be doing my grocery shopping online. I want to make sure I rotate the food we have and don't over buy on things. So that is my plan for today.

I have some bread dough proofing and I will bake that for tonight. I will be serving crumbed fish, mash and salad with it for dinner.

My washing and dishes are up to date and that makes me happy. In fact, I am very happy up here despite the quarantine.

I love our home here in the country and I feel very happy and grateful to God for giving us this home. If one has to be under lockdown, I can't think of a nicer place to do it.

Xena is happy here as well. It's been cold lately but we have turned the heater off as the sun comes in the back sliding door and warms the lounge room nicely.

Obviously not enough for Xena who spotted Chris's new Oodie on the couch, and so decided to make a little nest in it for herself. 

I have a pink one, Chris has a navy one. Best money I ever spent. We love them and it looks like with Xena, that Baby makes three! 

Sometimes old school is better

So when we lived in the fifth wheeler, we needed to find a vacuum that actually picked up cat fur, wasn't heavy and didn't take up a lot of room in storage.  We bought a Dyson V6 Animal with disappointing results. 

It became clogged with Xena's fur mainly and it was difficult to unlatch it to empty. At $700AUD, it wasn't cheap.

While it was kind to my sore back, it was not at all kind to my arthritic fingers. In fact, as soon as there was the slightest relaxation of pressure on the red button to run the motor, the thing died.

Last night Chris was able to resolve a problem of it stopping and starting erratically. He dismantled it and cleaned the filter and removed dirt from around the collection area. It improved and pulsed properly, but it still is a big disappointment. It simply blocks up too easily and quickly. 

For those Sacrificial Home Keepers with arthritic hands and fingers, or fibro hands, I would not recommend a Dyson. Something old school that runs with a power cord would work better.

Fortunately, we have a Volta Red Devil that has a long cord and we find this better in the long run. Unkind on my back, it doesn't hurt my hands or fingers. Sometimes old school is better.

Today we had our blood tests for diabetes: HBA1C. We went to the chemist to pick up some prescriptions and headed home. Chris needed his insulin injection and breakfast.

I am under the weather with fibromyalgia- same old story: weather changes = pain. So I followed the Wednesday List on Sylvia's Lists and had a much needed nana nap.

We are having a late dinner tonight as we have to wait 8 hours between Chris's injections as we were late with it due to the fasting this morning. Not feeling overly hungry, we are going to just have a frozen dinner.  We eat really well most nights, so a frozen meal occasionally won't harm us.

I am a firm believer in eating nutritious foods and we live on three veg and meat dinners cooked from scratch.  I know take away and fast foods are convenient, but once again, old school is better...

From the comfort of my couch

Today when I woke up, the outside was like a winter wonderland. Everything had a cloak of white from the frost. I quickly put the heaters on and warmed the place up.

After my lunch, I was still in my Oodie and I just didn't really have any spoons to do much. The birds were eating in our bird feeder and the sun had come across the back garden and was so warm that I was able to turn the heater off.

My stress levels when Chris became ill were pretty high, and I had done a lot of driving over the last two weeks. It played major havoc with my fibromyalgia, back and hips. I don't usually drive so of course I was using muscles that don't get used much. And they were complaining!

We opened the back door to air the house. The birds were chirping, the cattle were lowing and the stream at the end of our garden was flowing fast and bubbling. The sun shone on the water and not for the first time, I thanked God for giving us this home to rent.

Chris was sitting at the end of the couch and invited me to lay down and he would give me a foot rub. Now with all the driving, my right foot was extremely sore from using the pedals, and my peripheral neuropathy from diabetes was causing my feet to burn. He knows I suffer with sore feet and oedema in my legs, thanks to heart failure, and he rubs my feet and massages the water from them up towards my heart. It is supposed to help with heart failure.

The sun was shining right in my eyes, so I pulled my Oodie hood over them and lay listening to the birds, cows and stream. With closed eyes and the sun shining on my bare legs, the birds continued to chorus and with the water running, it felt exactly like I was at the beach. I fell asleep.

When I woke from my resultant slumber, Chris had closed the door as it was getting cold again. My muscles felt more relaxed and I had a few spoons to cook some fish and mashed potato with peas for dinner. I even did an apple pie sweetened with Hermasetas and cinnamon.

I was so comforted by just getting to rest and sleep and I intend to go to the "beach" again tomorrow- all from the comfort of my couch!

I am wearing my blanket!

We are in our winter here in Australia and where we live in a small country town, it gets very cold. Sometimes it even snows. 

With my thermostat being broken due to fibromyalgia and then being on blood thinners for my stents and antiphospholipid syndrome, my blood is like water and I really feel the cold.

You kinda know your blood is thin when you get a blood test with your husband and when it's standing in vials next to mine, his is dark red and mine is watery pink! So yes, I feel the cold keenly.

Our home is all electric and of course our only heating is electric too. So when the bill came, I gasped when I saw how much it cost! 

When I saw the Oodie on Face Book, I asked Chris if I could have one for my birthday! I ordered it in April but didn't get it until the beginning of June. Just in time for the coldest months in Australia. I figured that if it was as warm as they say, that it would recoup the cost in just one billing cycle!

Now Chris is from England, and he is quite used to the cold and doesn't feel it like I do. When he saw how warm I was without using the little fan heater in my study, he mentioned that he might like one for his birthday!  Since getting older and feeling ill with high sugars and vertigo, he declared that he was now feeling cold too.

So he tried it on and apart from mine being the pink you see in the picture, it was perfect! So I ordered a navy one for him. Size is not a factor as they are made oversize and one size fits all! 

The only problem is that he won't get it until July as they are pre-ordered and very popular here!

They are expensive and I got mine on Afterpay which helps a good deal. We love Afterpay!

Today is Monday and I am doing Sylvia's Lists today as I am feeling under the weather with fibromyalgia flaring. The last few weeks have been stressful, especially the day Chris was taken ill and I thought he had suffered a stroke.

We then had to sort out his new insulin regime which I did, and although he is now improving, I still am suffering rebound fibro flares from the stress.

I am planning to cook lamb strips in a marinade of mongolian beef with green veg and mashed potato for dinner. Depending on Chris's sugars, I will serve some artifically sweetened jelly and sugar free icecream for dessert.

By the way, I am not getting paid to advertise my Oodie. I just wanted to pass on my great comfortable friend for your consideration to anyone here who feels the cold. I really love mine: I can find anywhere is a great place to sit and be cosy as I am wearing my blanket! 

On a wing and a prayer

I have not been that well lately. The rain and cold has exacerbated my fibromyalgia and my spinal problems have come back to make sitting difficult.

To be honest, at the moment, there's not much I can do that doesn't cause pain somewhere. My whole body hurts.

I have dishes to do and I plan to make a quiche and salad for dinner tonight. That's all.  I will be turning my electric blanket back on soon and retreating to bed.

Even staying up long enough to do these few things is only going to happen with prayer. I am like a war plane struck down and trying to coast to clear land. On a wing and a prayer!

Feeling nurtured

So as you know, I have been under the weather with my fibromyalgia and angina. No amount of determination and desire can call my spoons into action. I cannot function well at the moment. No matter what.

I have succumbed to false guilt, but after a heart to heart with Chris and some Quiet Time with the LORD, I feel a little better.

Having Chris bring me in some tea this morning and his offer to vacuum today has brought a smile to my face. I feel nurtured when he pitches in to help me.

I will be taking some Paracetamol soon and he has promised to give my feet and legs a massage. He gently massages my swollen ankles upwards towards my heart. It helps my weakened heart, and after I find that I can bend my toes and move my feet again. But usually it just makes me sleep. I am always glad to have a nana nap.

The only thing I am going to do today is make fish and chips in the air fryer. I will serve them with salad for dinner. 

Being a chronically ill wife, I sometimes worry about how Chris feels. It must be tedious for him, but when I mention it, he waves his hand and says it's all part of the job of being a husband... and he sure has me feeling nurtured.

Surprise!

Recently our landlord came to cut the grass and when he was mowing down near the shed at the bottom of the garden, he found a large bush of cherry tomatoes growing there.

Chris went down later on and picked them for me. I gave them a good wash and put them in the fruit basket. There were heaps more than this, but we have been picking at them as we go to put the nearby kettle on. Which is pretty often in our house! 

I have been down and out for the count the last few days with a really tough bout of fibromyalgia. As I age, I find my fibro flares are more often and more painful.

So I have been doing the absolute minimum in the house (mainly meals) and sleeping. Although I am a little better today, I will be doing more of the same later on.

All I plan for today is:

1. Sweep my kitchen floor.
2. Cook chicken chow mein for dinner. I will use the slow cooker for this.
3. Nap as often as I can

I will ask Chris to get the last of the tomatoes in today before the birds eat them all. To us, they were a surprise, but the birds knew they were there all along! 

Playing with my toys

  

The Australian government gave us pensioners $750 to hopefully help the economy with the Corona Virus. 

I wanted to do my bit, so I spent it on things for my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. It wasn't entirely frivolous because you may recall I gave away or sold most of our things when we downscaled into the fifth wheeler to become grey nomads.

When it all went pear shaped with me tearing my meniscus and becoming housebound, we found we were lacking quite a few things for our new rented house. I decided to spend the money on fixing that.

So the last few days I have been happily playing with my new toys.

It is so nice to have enough saucepans and frypans now. I made a lovely cinnamon and sultana cake for Chris. Later I made zucchini spaghetti and garlic with my spiraliser and last night I fried some salmon portions in the new air fryer.

After that I enjoyed my bath cushion followed by a nice sleep in my new sheets set. 

Today's to do list is to:

1. Make zucchini spaghetti again with salmon for dinner.
2. Fold and put away a load of washing
3. Take a nana nap to overcome my fatigue from fibromyalgia.

The really crappy thing about fibromyalgia is that even good stress like this still uses your spoons. Hopefully, I will have enough spoons left to cook that dinner as I play with my toys.