I can't decide what to wear!

I am so excited! Tonight is Bin Night! I get to take our rubbish bins out for collection. With Covid lockdowns, torn meniscus and wonky other knee, spinal problems and fatigue from my fibromyalgia flares, and now a sick husband as well, we don't get out much!

Going out for any reason is a treat and I look forward to taking the bins out. They are so lucky as they go out more than we do these days!

It's all well and good to take them out, and my excitement is real, but I only have one problem that detracts from the pleasure and keeps my feet on the ground- I just can't decide what to wear! 

 

Making better use of my spoons

 

With limited spoons (energy), I have to be more mindful of my time on Face Book.  FB is a useful tool for keeping in touch with relatives who may or may not bother to keep in touch with us. This saves on phone calls as most of Chris's family are in England.

As a chronically ill woman with constantly flaring fibromyalgia as well as other chronic illnesses, I do 15 mins of housework, then I play Candy Crush as I rest. It's a great motivator and a good reward and rest break wherein I don't have to think too much and it helps de-stress me

However, I realise that while I do 15 mins in the house, I often spend an hour or more on Candy Crush or reading memes. By the time I realise that I haven't managed to do what I planned, my spoons are gone!

I find FB often depresses me and when we had the 3 days without power recently, I felt less stressed. So for me, I have learned to use FB and not have FB use me. 

Although you will find me there still, it isn't at all as many times as before. Who would have thought that an inconvenience like a power outage would actually be a blessing? It's taught me how to be making better use of my spoons! 

I am so glad it's over.

 

It has been a long day of catching up on dishes left in the sink and washing left in the hamper.  Chris has been unwell and is just starting his antidepressants. Not being able to turn off thinking enough to sleep and other symptoms of depression, the doctor thinks they are warranted.

Because Chris is temporarily unable to drive, I have taken over and it has injured my good knee. Tonight, it is as painful as the one with the meniscus tear.  I have been unable to bear any weight on it. Hence the housework waiting for me.

After three days off the leg, I have just been able to get the dishes washed and the washing caught up between limping back to my couch. Chris was well enough to dry the dishes and put them away for me. As we speak, he is putting the folded clean clothes away.

My BP is soaring, no doubt to the extra pain. My knee pain is just the cherry on the top of a delightful fibromyalgia flare and bout of sciatica. I feel like retiring to my bed and staying there for a week.

But where does a wife who is a carer to her carer husband go for a break? There's no such thing and the most she- I, can hope for is to do my housework in my dressing gown.

Life goes on regardless of fibro or knee pain, or exhaustion or.... whatever.  I have sorted our pills for the next week and given Chris' his as I took mine.  

Xena's been fed and I poured fresh water into her bowl. The electric blankets are on with the promise of soothing warmth for my aching back and muscles. 

So the day is nearly over and my house is in order once again- and I am so glad it's over.

Someone loves her Nana!

I have had our granddaughter Taylah with us for a few days as it's school holidays here and her mother works. Sunday we picked her up and Chris took ill and couldn't drive us home. 

I had to drive the 2 hours home and had bad muscle pain afterwards. Taylah is 9 and independent so she's no trouble.

Today, (Wednesday) I had to take her home and I drove as Chris wasn't much better. The sugars are high and it's effecting his eyes. 

We had take away for dinner. I have taken pain killers and am going to bed soon. Driving isn't fun when you have fibromyalgia, but you just have to do some things that you can't plan for. 

Judging from my pain tonight, I will be resting tomorrow. 

I do have a love note written on my fridge menu white board. It will be something to cheer me up tomorrow when my fibromyalgia flares and I am in pain.. Someone loves her nana.

 

Making memories is what it's all about.

Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary. We celebrated it by reminiscing about the day and looking at old photographs. You can see my post of our love story here.

It's school holidays so today we picked up our little granddaughter Taylah. She's going to stay with us for a few days.

Chris unfortunately took ill during the 2 hour trip to pick her up, so I had to drive home. It wasn't a big deal really, but I am already feeling the after effects in my muscles and it's not even the day after yet.

My fibromyalgia is flaring and I will probably be resting tomorrow. I am having an early night with paracetamol to take before I retire.

I figure I may just as well make the trip and enjoy Taylah as stay home and hurt all over anyway. From previous experience, it doesn't matter much whether I wrap myself in cotton wool or not- fibro flares will keep your body hostage regardless.

So tomorrow I plan to do some slow cooker dinners and enjoy her as much as I can. Making memories is what it's all about.

My daily homemaking chores

So that we won't live in a pig stye, I try to keep to this schedule no matter how I feel. It is based on Sharon White's Legacy of Home blog.  I often read through this to motivate me, but for really fibro brain fog days, I have highlighted the chores for quick reading. I have modified it a little for my own home...

WAKE UP: BLOODS, JAB AND MEDS FEED XENA

1.  There is the breakfast hour, which includes tea-time. First we prepare the meal and set a table.  I often set up a tray- table and sit in the parlour before anyone else is awake.  I am an early riser so I have my tea while the sun is just beginning to rise.  I enjoy this quiet time of resting from the brief bit of morning work.

Later, when the family has their eggs and toast, or fresh baked muffins with fruit, it is time to do the dishes.   We wash the table and the counters and do the sweeping.   All the work of tidying and making things neat are part of the breakfast duties. 

2.  Often, during the morning hours, we do the laundry or the dusting and vacuuming. Each day has its special work. It may be Wednesday is for washing floors. Perhaps Thursday is for cleaning the bathroom.  The mid-morning hours are a good time for many of us to do these special duties of making a home look pretty. LIST WORK FOR THE DAY

3.  The Lunch hour is such a wonderful time to stop and rest.  We put out a fresh, clean tablecloth.  I love my white-and-teal checkered cloth.  It looks so homey and old fashioned.  We can set up our plates and napkins. We can do this even if we are just serving grilled cheese sandwiches, pickles, and chips!  It makes the lunch - work like a reward when we sit at that pretty table and rest and eat while we enjoy the family.  Next we do the sweeping and the dishes, much like we did in the morning.  

4.  The dinner hour is such a precious time in the day.  I often start working on the evening meal at 3 in the afternoon. I work slowly and take lots of breaks. Sometimes I peel potatoes and start getting a little casserole ready to bake.  Other times I might do much of the work for a pan of lasagna. I like to put these pans of prepared food in the refrigerator and then just take them out to bake when it is just about dinner time.  That way I get a great deal of rest between all the work.  CLOSE THE BLINDS AND LIGHT THE LAMPS.  BLOODS JAB MEDS 

Sitting with the family and hearing the blessing (or the prayer before the meal) is such a peaceful experience.  It is lovely to just sit and enjoy dinner at the end of a long day.  Then the work of tidying, doing the dishes, and sweeping the floor happens.  We make everything look neat and pretty. But I do not like to rush.  I do not want to just "get the work over-with." I take my time and go at a steady pace.  The work of cleaning and accomplishing the beautiful work of making a neat home makes me happy.  It also brings peace. SHOWER OR BATHE 

These four tasks of homemaking do not take a great deal of effort.  They may seem simple and ordinary.  They may seem mundane.  But if we dress up in something pretty, wearing an apron, and keeping our hair up in a pretty style, we may find ourselves enjoying the work.  I have an old blue-and-white gingham apron that I love to wear. It is getting old and ragged. I will have to make a new one this coming fall.  I need a fresh supply of lovely aprons to wear as I do the housekeeping.

When we look extra nice as we do our work, we can find joy in the labor.  Doing the little tasks of keeping house, each day, with a feeling of contentment, will bring a true feeling of comfort and happiness to the family.  It will help them feel welcome and loved in a happy and simple home.

The old hag came a'calling

There's a very scary sleep condition called Sleep Paralysis. Basically the brain is trying to wake us up but the body can be paralysed. It's also known as the Old Hag Syndrome because one often is conscious of something malevolent in the room or at close range.

I have had this happen to me. I woke up to find I could only move my eyes. I couldn't move my legs or head. It felt like someone was in my room and I had the most awful feeling of dread. I fell asleep again to wake up in the morning with the feeling that it was a very vivid nightmare.  It is the scariest thing...

I try not to allow fear overcome me when I try to go to sleep. In case I bring on a nightmare, I always go to sleep focusing on something positive.  With falling sleep being  difficult enough with fibromyalgia, I practise relaxation techniques that I learnt to cope with panic attacks.

This experience I liken to a nightmare, only I was conscious enough to know I was awake and it was real.

I really detest this happening as I guard my sleep judiciously thanks to it being so scarce with my fibromyalgia pain. After dinner, I won't watch anything on TV that may make me anxious, nor do I eat anything so as not to cause a disturbed sleep due to my digestive system handling food.

Feta cheese gives me nightmares, so I only eat that during the day. In fact all cheeses give me nightmares, and on occasion they have triggered a migraine.

After dinner I change into my pyjamas- if I have bothered to get dressed that is. I wind down with some rounds of Candy Crush and then I join Chris for a snuggle in front of the TV.

But even then I have to be very selective about viewing what he's viewing. If it's not a "chick flick" or is violent or will make me think too much, I just take him in a nightly cup of tea or hot milk and finish off another few rounds of my game. 

It seems I do become fixated on getting a good night's sleep, and it is true: I do.  With all my medications, about an hour after taking them, I feel the need to head towards bed. And saying about the medications, I am on 24+ pills a day and if I don't sleep for 9 hours, I wake up feeling hung over.

Anyone who suffers from Fibromyalgia will know that a good night's sleep is crucial to coping with the daily pain and they will also guard their bedtime habits like I do.

I want to enjoy my sleep, and I don't ever want to have to tell you that once more, the Old Hag came a'calling...

Even pleasant times are draining

Yesterday we had Chris's daughter come for his birthday which was Saturday. She brought a cake and a gift- the top fitted perfectly, but the slippers were too tight for his swollen feet.

Tomorrow we will go and exchange them as I have the docket. We were going to Kmart as Chris was given a gift voucher from my daughter, but he is feeling tired today, so we will make it another day. 

Chronic illness dictates our lives now. Chris with his heart failure and me with my fibromyalgia. Spoons are dictators that seek to keep us immobile with no social outlets. 

These days, we are fortunate in that people come to us. Over the years, they have realised that often it is impossible for us to leave our home to visit them- especially if there is a time-table. One just never knows how many spoons will be available on any day-not until the morning at the earliest.

I only have basic house chores today as all the washing and dishes are caught up. So that will be all I have to worry about with no spoons available today.

It's funny how even pleasant times can drain one of spoons...

Above is a picture of Chris and our grandson Lachlan who also shared his birthday with Grandpa. 

We need an ark!

THURSDAY NIGHT: We are having unseasonable weather with flooding and high winds. Currently having our tenth power outage in 24 hours with large trees blown over lots of roads and in the parkland opposite our house we are out of our diabetic medicines and we can’t get to the chemist.

We have been advised to stay home for safety. I am so glad we are on a steep slope.

FRIDAY: We managed to get through to our closest chemist so we have our diabetic medicine again! We had dinner at Chris's son's as they had gas to cook with. They live near us! 

We have no heating whatsoever and it's winter and the weather is freezing. My fibromyalgia has come out to play! 

SATURDAY:  So pleased that the power came back on last night. 

SUNDAY AFTERNOON: We have just got the modem back on but the phones are still on SOS only. 

The waters came up very high so that the cows couldn't get any food from their pasture behind our back garden. A farmer asked us if he could go through our back garden to leave some hay bales for them. Of course we said yes and he managed to place some in the small island of land in the middle of the flood waters. 

I don't need food or medicine so it doesn't matter that we can't get out for the moment. 

The farmer who came through to feed his cows was very nice and he said he's lived here all his life and has never seen the weather and floods as bad as this one. The weather bureau said the waters should recede soon.

This is the view today from our back porch. The hay was delivered to the island strip of land because through habit that's where the cows were plodding looking for feed. The farmer's house is in the background.

My focus for today is to wash all the dishes and do some washing... I will be cooking lamb stew for tonight. 

More rain is forecast for the next few days with more flooding. If it gets any worse, we are going to need an ark! 

Enjoying some morning sunshine

 

Chris and I are not getting enough Vitamin D so we took the opportunity yesterday to sit on our garden swing together and catch some rays.

Xena found some meat I had left out for our magpies and kingfishers and you can see her in the start of the video. 

We just listened to the silence punctuated with some birds calling and we just luxuriated in the warm rays.

Just beyond our fence is a stream running through the back of our property with some paddocks rolling out along the stream edge. The cows come to graze a couple of times a day, moving right along all the paddocks, grazing as they go.

With winter on us now, we try to get outside and get some sun and it is really nice to feels the rays on our skin but I have to be careful as it's very easy to fall asleep. It wouldn't be very restful to fall onto the scoria under the swing.

It's nice to focus on pretty birds, cats and cows and get away from the news and I only really listen to it once a day. I need to know about lockdowns rules and so on. After I find out, I switch it off.  

We have been on lockdown again last week and metropolitan Melbourne has had it extended for another week. It has been lifted a bit for us as we are regional. But we can't travel far.

My fibro and polymyalgia are flaring and I find myself longing to go to bed, but I try to resist going back. I prefer sitting on the swing holding Chris's hand and enjoying some morning sunshine.