Feeling nurtured

So as you know, I have been under the weather with my fibromyalgia and angina. No amount of determination and desire can call my spoons into action. I cannot function well at the moment. No matter what.

I have succumbed to false guilt, but after a heart to heart with Chris and some Quiet Time with the LORD, I feel a little better.

Having Chris bring me in some tea this morning and his offer to vacuum today has brought a smile to my face. I feel nurtured when he pitches in to help me.

I will be taking some Paracetamol soon and he has promised to give my feet and legs a massage. He gently massages my swollen ankles upwards towards my heart. It helps my weakened heart, and after I find that I can bend my toes and move my feet again. But usually it just makes me sleep. I am always glad to have a nana nap.

The only thing I am going to do today is make fish and chips in the air fryer. I will serve them with salad for dinner. 

Being a chronically ill wife, I sometimes worry about how Chris feels. It must be tedious for him, but when I mention it, he waves his hand and says it's all part of the job of being a husband... and he sure has me feeling nurtured.

Surprise!

Recently our landlord came to cut the grass and when he was mowing down near the shed at the bottom of the garden, he found a large bush of cherry tomatoes growing there.

Chris went down later on and picked them for me. I gave them a good wash and put them in the fruit basket. There were heaps more than this, but we have been picking at them as we go to put the nearby kettle on. Which is pretty often in our house! 

I have been down and out for the count the last few days with a really tough bout of fibromyalgia. As I age, I find my fibro flares are more often and more painful.

So I have been doing the absolute minimum in the house (mainly meals) and sleeping. Although I am a little better today, I will be doing more of the same later on.

All I plan for today is:

1. Sweep my kitchen floor.
2. Cook chicken chow mein for dinner. I will use the slow cooker for this.
3. Nap as often as I can

I will ask Chris to get the last of the tomatoes in today before the birds eat them all. To us, they were a surprise, but the birds knew they were there all along! 

June Cleaver's dragging her heels

These last few days my fibromyalgia pain has increased to the point I cannot function without assistance in the home. In fact, just talking to you now has been an effort and typing has seen my muscle and tendons cramp and spasm.

So I will be doing some minimal housework today, just to keep the wheels moving, but I have enlisted some help from my husband.

My focus will be on clearing clothes from my clean laundry tub and cooking something for tonight. Chris will vacuum a bit for me later on.

We both will be doing dishes from last night and whatever accumulates as we eat breakfast and lunch and I cook dinner.

This is the time when I find myself weepy and inclined to lapse into false guilt. For some reason my perfectionism increases as my spoons decrease, and I have to put into practice what I have spoken about and believe: it is not my fault that I am chronically ill and God loves me just the way I am. Thank goodness, it's not about how fast I spin my wheel! 

Today, fibromyalgia has won: I am on a go slow, pacing and napping mode. It is all I can manage to keep awake. Today is going to be a wash out. The wanna be June Cleaver is dragging her heels.

Playing with my toys

  

The Australian government gave us pensioners $750 to hopefully help the economy with the Corona Virus. 

I wanted to do my bit, so I spent it on things for my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. It wasn't entirely frivolous because you may recall I gave away or sold most of our things when we downscaled into the fifth wheeler to become grey nomads.

When it all went pear shaped with me tearing my meniscus and becoming housebound, we found we were lacking quite a few things for our new rented house. I decided to spend the money on fixing that.

So the last few days I have been happily playing with my new toys.

It is so nice to have enough saucepans and frypans now. I made a lovely cinnamon and sultana cake for Chris. Later I made zucchini spaghetti and garlic with my spiraliser and last night I fried some salmon portions in the new air fryer.

After that I enjoyed my bath cushion followed by a nice sleep in my new sheets set. 

Today's to do list is to:

1. Make zucchini spaghetti again with salmon for dinner.
2. Fold and put away a load of washing
3. Take a nana nap to overcome my fatigue from fibromyalgia.

The really crappy thing about fibromyalgia is that even good stress like this still uses your spoons. Hopefully, I will have enough spoons left to cook that dinner as I play with my toys.

Enjoying my home

Even though we haven't enjoyed the fact that we have been on lockdown, we have still enjoyed our home.

We have done things around the house, I have tried new recipes to cook and we spend a lot of time just watching the birds and our cat.

There is a lovely feeling of peace, no anxiety and just a sense of calm. I am enjoying Chris's company and the days are going fast.

We have gone to bed late and slept in. Which is just as well because the changeable weather has my fibromyalgia flaring nastily.  It is so nice to be able to just take a nana nap without feeling guilty. 

I have done my grocery shopping online and ordered our medications on an app. That way I only have to run in and pick them up instead of waiting forever for them to be made up.

Yesterday's doctor's visit was done by phone with him faxing our prescriptions through to our chemist.

We are enjoying the peace of scripture and worship music playing in the background and my Quiet Time is now any time I feel like doing it. 

I honestly thought that being in lockdown would drive me nuts, but quite the opposite. Apart from knowing that I can't go out like before, I am still enjoying my home

Calling in my spoons!

It is 14C or 57.2 today which is good weather for being busy. I need to devote today to saving my produce and freezing it and cooking. 

I have bought too much fresh produce and I am not getting to use it before it goes limp. In my crisper are 2 bunches of celery, 2 leeks, 3 halves of pumpkins, 3 lettuces and 2 packets of carrots. Even by making some soups, I will still have too much. The veggies are not mouldy or brown but definitely not crisp- they are limp. 

I will freeze lettuces, celery, pumpkins and carrots and the two bags of brown onions expiring there as well. I have been obviously buying up big in the produce to try to stockpile a bit, but it's all going pear shape! 

I really can't afford to waste my money by throwing it out. I have to freshen them up and prolong their life.

I plan to make some  butter tarts, some sultana muffins, some cookie dough that I can freeze to use on the days when fibromyalgia has me snookered. I will be taking out some lamb steaks to thaw for dinner tonight, which will be steak, mashed potato and peas and gravy.

Mostly it will be a kitchen day today, as long as my spoons allow anyway.  I am sitting here calling in my spoons! 

The Queen of List Making

So I did it again! Instead of cleaning up after dinner, I went to bed with dishes in the sink. I hate when I do that!

I mean, with fibromyalgia robbing me of a good restful sleep, the mornings are hard enough to face. Having a dirty kitchen to wake up to is the pits!

Most would think that it's just laziness, but by the time I have cooked dinner my spoons are almost gone. Yes gone! I am so done in by the end of the day that even lifting my arms up to put my nightie over them creates pain.

Oh, yes, I make lists and read motivational blogs and You tubes, but to no avail. I am the Queen of List Making. Yet my limited spoons dictate that I do very little and I am left with ashes in my mouth.

I know I said before that I have been keeping busy and that's true, but I now have a rebound fibro flare and coupled with our autumn cold snap with rain, I am in a lot of pain.

You would think that I would have worked out this fibromyalgia lurk after twenty years. And for the most part although I hate it, I have learned to exist with fibro without feeling false guilt that leads to depression.

Most days I accept my disability, but deep inside is a perfectionist screaming to get out! On days like our current lockdown days, due to Rona, I try to nest and I overextend my limits. Hello, Fibro Flare!

I am grateful to my husband Chris. He is an mild mannered man who is happy with how I do manage to keep our nest. He and most people who come to visit- well in better days obviously- are happy with the state of our home.

It must be that I am my own worst enemy: trying to do the work of a much younger healthier self: everything in its place and a place for everything. But always straining, never achieving thanks to Fibromyalgia.  I need to accept what is and hang up my crown as the Queen of List Making.

Today I am doing just a few things:

1. Cooking a chow mein in the slow cooker
2. Doing those dishes from last night
3. Giving in to the latest flare and taking a nana nap

Home is the new church

So today is Resurrection Sunday when Jesus rose from the dead. It is a joyful day in the Christian calendar and one I look forward to each year.

I am so grateful that Jesus saved me from my sins and that when I die, I will be with Him for eternity. That is a wonderful promise to hang onto in these uncertain times.

This year will see many of us viewing online Easter services and I will be doing that later, but today I will be taking Communion with my sister and one of my sons online. We will be FaceTiming.

We did this last week and it was very fulfilling. What better way of celebrating Resurrection Sunday than by worshiping and remembering Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us all?

I have some homemaking chores to do:

1. Make pumpkin soup
2. Fold a load of washing and put it away
3. Clean my kitchen

I will get to this hopefully after Communion today. I will be taking it under our picture of the Last Supper where Christ introduced Communion as a way for Christians to remember His sacrifice. 

It's quite pleasant to be home doing it: like other things we have to accept for the time being: home is the new church! 

Staying busy

So in the wake of the Corona Virus comes anxiety and uncertainty and I have been finding my adrenaline racing. With listening to too much news, I am inclined to get depressed and so, I am staying busy. Well, as busy as fibromyalgia and spoons allow.

I am finding by keeping busy that my mind slows down and this brings my blood pressure and heart rate down as well. There is less adrenaline pumping through me. And less angina.

My friend, Mrs Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper is a very gifted writer. She has blessed me so much with writing her Lists for the chronically ill woman. I follow them most days and they have helped me so much for many years now. 

Sylvia graciously allowed me to post her Lists here and on my other blog and I am eternally grateful.

Recently she has written a post which is so very helpful for us concerning coping with isolation and the Corona Virus.  Once again, she has graciously allowed me to share this with you. Thanks again, my friend.

Sylvia's advice is always scriptural and sensible, and I have found a sense of peace since staying busy.

So today I have:

1. Done a load of washing
2. Put it away as well as a load I found in the dryer! :)
3. Cleaned my kitchen
4. Made some Jewish Penicillin 
5. Roasted some chicken drumsticks for dinner
6. Sorted out our medications for the week
7. Watched Episode 7 of The Chosen  very moving... 

Highly recommend watching it.  He is our Hope and I am so grateful to Jesus for His sacrifice, His salvation and His grace to me.

My body is hurting with the fibromyalgia flaring, but I would prefer that to sitting fretting about Rona. 

I really think the answer to anxiety sometimes is staying busy.

Doing it my way!

So thanks to fibromyalgia making my life from day to day so unpredictable, I can't keep to a homemaking cleaning routine.

I simply don't know how each day is going to be until I wake up. It's unpredictable. Only in the morning (which usually is not a good time for me), will I know if I have any spoons (energy) or not. 

A lot of course depends on whether I was able to sleep well or not. Because most of the time I toss and turn and don't get much relief from pain even in sleep, I wake up feeling like I have been hit by a truck.

So in the 51 years of being a housewife, I have learned a trick or two about getting it done. And by getting it done, I don't mean perfectly: I mean good enough to keep us comfortable and healthy.

Perfectionism went out the window 22 years ago when Fibromyalgia joined the 'Ailments Club' along with life time members- Angina, Arthritis, Asthma, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Spinal Canal Stenosis, Diabetes 2, Hole in Heart, Polymyalgia Rheumatica, Depression and lastly but by no means least, a torn Meniscus in the left knee. Oh yeah: and Heel Spurs. 

But I digress: I have learned a few tricks along the way for that rare day I just may have some spoons.

Here's a few tricks I have found along the way to help with housework.  You will see it's not very orthodox, but's it's effective and I like doing it my way!