When confronted with the diagnosis of a chronic health condition like fibromyalgia, we can often grieve for the stronger, healthier person we were before it and it's like any other form of grief.
We are angry, we bargain, we accept it, we move on. The hardest part in moving on is linked with acceptance: we have to find our new normal.
I find there's a period of anger and denial, then acceptance. And it varies with each of us.
Acceptance is the pathway to moving forward. So it is critical that we come to acceptance by focussing on what we have left, rather than what chronic illness has taken away from us.
As in all grieving, no one can say how long it will take us to come to acceptance, but it must come so that we can find our new normal and live our new life in that new normal.
What chronic illness takes from us is more than the physical. But even so, despite feeling down emotionally, we should and must focus on what it hasn't taken.
I have days where I still mourn the loss of basic abilities like home cleaning, showering and walking far. Today is one of pain with fibromyalgia to the point that I can't straighten my fingers and even my eyes ache..
My to do list today is not big, but it. is. what. it. is.
Clean the kitchenCook dinnerShower sometime before bed
I think for me, it's a little different. But then, everyone is different.
ReplyDeleteI've dealt with years of pain with no explanation. I think my chiropractor might
have been close to diagnosing me over 15 years ago, but never quite got there.
Just a conclusion I have come to in hindsight.
Fibro and chronic illness didn't even come into my realm of thinking until almost 6 years ago. I was still having all the pain I was having 15 and 20 years ago, only more so. Like most people I had good days and bad days. I had flairs with no triggers, and flairs with triggers and didn't know what was going on.
Almost 6 years ago, I began seeing a doctor in hopes of finding out what was happening. He kept dismissing my questions and my concerns. Last year, I found a new doctor. And as soon as he walked in he began asking questions, ordered labs, and did the 18 point test. He then confirmed what I've suspected for a few years.
I think I did all my grieving years ago, when I couldn't do things I once did with ease. I'm relieved that I now have a diagnosis. My anger is in that it took so long to get one. I'm angry that the other doctor was so dismissive of my concerns. My frustration is that it is still looked at as something not real, made up.
For me, I don't think it is a matter of moving on, but moving through it.
It's infuriating that you can go years without a diagnosis. Especially frustrating when doctors dismiss you. My diagnosis after many years and tests was clinched when my skin came up in red welts after the rheumatologist pressed on my trigger points. I have since learned that it's called dermagraphica or skin writing. I agree that one really doesn't move on but moves through it as one can never leave fibromyalgia or move away from it. No, you are right, one moves through it. Endures it. Lives it 24/7. Thanks for taking the time to have a cup of tea with me today, Ellie.
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