I have been trying to become a night owl. It seems that everything comes together after dinner.
The morning stiffness is gone, the pills have kicked in but the clock says it's bedtime. I am not ready to go.
My thinking is clearer after dinner. And the wisdom that comes from twenty plus years of fibro and chronic illness has kissed me on the face and whispered, "Stay with me. The night is but a pup!" and I have tried staying.
I have persisted in being a night owl until the book falls over my face, or I have woken with a start because my head has dropped onto my chest as I have fallen asleep in front of the TV or computer. And this has set the tone for the next day.
It is not unheard of for me to fall asleep in the passenger seat, garrotting myself with the seat belt as Chris drives us to an appointment or shopping. The midnight productive hours have not equipped me for a fruitful, productive day and I find myself fantasizing about my bed.
The day seems so long, and half way through, I succumb to bone weariness and crawl into my bed. The night owl has flown to sleep until evening, and though I could sleep until then, I know it's not likely.
You could say that the circadian rhythm has won. As much as I would like to be a night owl, fibromyalgia and other illnesses will call the shots and a nighttime ritual of early retirings will be in order. Just to survive the next day. Just to have some spoons!
After a recurrence of fibro flares, I can see that for me, being a night owl is not an option and I am better off having a regular bedtime. The circadian rhythm has won! And by dictating my lifestyle choices, so have the spoons!
Thank you for sharing. I do not have fibro, I cannot completely understand. But I do live with lots of arthritis and muscle pain, and so I can sympathize. You are paying attention to what your body needs, but also doing your best to attend to what you need, what your spirit needs. Good for you. Blessings,Michele
ReplyDeleteAlthough I write mainly about fibro, I also include other chronic illness sufferers as well. Pain is pain. By sharing my experiences, I hope to encourage anyone who battles chronic illness and struggles to live as well as possible even with those illnesses. Thanks for sharing a cuppa with me today, Michele.
ReplyDeleteMy "sleep" is a total mess. Has been since doctor took me off Xanax 3 years ago. I am exhausted all morning so I sleep from 6am-11am. I do stuff then feel tired all over again about 4pm. So I nap from 4pm-6pm. Then my feel better/productive time is truly 7pm-midnight. Midnight to 6am I toss, turn, restless, light if any sleep. Love Kelly
ReplyDeleteOh Kelly, coming off Xanax is a nightmare! My sister was on them and had a really hard time with withdrawals when she was weaned off them. I admire both of you for coming off them. I would still try to pace myself during that 5 hour window of productive time. That 5 hour window can make or break you... don't let the spoons win... maybe try sticking to the half an hour work, half an hour rest. Or else you will crash and burn. I always pace myself now in order to tame the beasts called spoons.... Love to you. Be blessed, Kelly.
Delete