The last one didn't make it home!

So this morning I am in my study checking my emails when I hear Chris talking in the nearby kitchen.

"So which of you is gonna be brave this morning?" he asks his upheld fingers as he searches for a digit that hasn't recently been jabbed for glucose testing..

They are all sore and he is running out of fingers... "Come on, Chaps! I want a volunteer!.... right then, You- step forward!"

I am giggling to myself because all my fingers are sore as well... but I stopped giggling when I heard him call out  "12.9!" -that's a high number for a fasting test.

Going to the kitchen to write it down in our diabetes diary, I asked Chris to retest it... sometimes the monitor needs recalibrating. 

I recalibrated it as Chris again studied his fingers. "I want another volunteer!.." I felt bad when the   result was still 12.9! All for nothing too with no need for the last volunteer  who didn't make it home. 

It's enough to drive me to drink!

So Friday I was talking to my new doctor about my back problems and asthma problems, my blood results and consequent treatment. My cholesterol and sugars were good as was my thyroid thanks to Thyroxin tablets. 

My uric acid levels were good, which they should be with me on medications to stop making kidney stones. And the conversation went like this: "Your uric acid level- have you always had high uric acid in your blood? No? well it probably is due to alcohol intake!" "Excuse me? I don't drink alcohol at all!" "Oh really? well- good: good! So it's just in your blood... OK!"

He was running through the blood tests which showed my liver GGT was unusually high. "Why do you think that is, Doctor?" I asked. "Probably too much fat or excessive alcohol intake!" "Ahem- I don't drink alcohol at all!" "Oh, yes. Of course!" 

I do not drink alcohol, but his reaction to my liver problem and high uric acid level annoyed me somewhat. I mean, if it was a problem, I would tell him so instead of worrying myself as to what it is caused by.

My blood pressure was slightly up which isn't surprising when I am meeting a new doctor. Especially one who suspects that his new patient is a drinker of the new wine! or casks thereof! 

So next we had a discussion on which diet program to follow as the fat lady with the drinker's pot belly needs to lose weight.

And right in the middle of a discussion of Keto and diabetes, I stopped mid sentence and lost my train of thought. Embarrassed beyond belief, I told him I was having a bad fibromyalgia day and it was just brain fog!

He just looked at me over his glasses and I could tell what he was thinking... it's too much imbibing of alcohol that does that!... 

Leaving the clinic with a handful of diet pamphlets and scripts, I asked Chris to drive me straight home. 

I headed for the kettle to make myself my favourite beverage- tea. But I swear I was so upset by the insinuations that I cried out to Chris's surprise, "It's enough to drive me to drink!" and it almost is! 

Nothing like a nana nap!

                                                     Nana nap

One who is not a grandparent but is prone to taking naps during the afternoon for 1-2 hours.  Urban dictionary...

"I had a nana nap this afternoon and now I am ready to party again!!"

I know I am not alone when I say there's nothing like a nana nap to help one get through a day of pain or trouble. 

There are some days when I cannot function without a nana nap, and then there are the rarer days when I don't need one. But for me with a fibromyalgia flare, a nana nap is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

A nap in the middle of the day has been proven to make one more productive, and in some countries such as Spain they close the shops and businesses in the middle of the day and have what is called a siesta. The Spanish equivalent of a nana nap.

I do find when having a nana nap, that if I oversleep I can wake up feeling sore all over and brain fogged, so I try to limit it to no more than an hour. More than that and I feel like I am starting the whole morning stiffness and pain cycle all over again.

I used to take a nana nap during my lunch break when I was working in an office. I just went to my car and laid down in the back seat for a while. Siri would wake me on my phone in time to collect my thoughts and freshen up before going back to work. If it was too hot, I tried to nap in the ladies room where they had armchairs and couches.

It isn't necessary to actually go to bed to take a nana nap; I find my couch aka "the Beach" works for me, or any comfy chair will do. Provided that I don't oversleep, a nana nap often kicks me on to cook tea these days.

Today I have just made our bed and cooked dinner. Chris and I just got ourselves something quick to eat for lunch. I just took advantage of our beautiful view from the couch and watched the clouds and the birds. I dozed a bit and felt well enough to cook tonight and to actually wash the evening dishes.

Often I run out of spoons for cleaning my kitchen, but my dozing paid off and so I reiterate that there truly is nothing like a nana nap!

In my dreams!

Ever since I was a young girl, I have dreamed of being an energetic housewife, baking and cooking from scratch. I would keep an immaculate house as well and my washing would be as white as snow.

Of course, I would iron everything that was on the line and my pantry shelves would be well organised with the spices kept in alphabetical order. And it was so for the first two years of my first  marriage.

But then much sickness came into my life, heralded by displaced discs and Scheurmann's Disease, and the dream evaporated as quickly as my energy and eroded discs.

This dream kept springing back in fits of discontent with myself and no small amount of false guilt. With the onset of heart disease, diabetes and fibromyalgia, the dream became a nightmare that taunted me. 

Perfectionism pointed its' knobbly finger at me, taunting me and demanding I try harder. It insisted that I find my worth in my homemaking abilities as a woman, and I was miserable as well as in pain.

It took until I was into my 20th year with fibromyalgia to realise that my worth as a woman was not on how well I kept my house. 

I decided to focus on the fact that God loves me just as I am and that helped remove the false guilt.

So now, in my 67th year, and my maladies worsening, I have had to put the dream to rest. I am never going to be the woman of my dreams. I have someone come to clean for me once every two weeks and I have learned to be grateful.

Only in accepting your illness can you find peace. Our womanhood is not only about keeping an immaculate house. And as I look at my clean house today, I am glad that we have the Aged care package that allows home care help. 

As I talk to you now, I smile at the irony: my energy comes through the woman who cleans, and my home is still clean. I have a maid in my later years- and that's something I thought would only come to be in my dreams! 

Today's lists of to do's are:

Make our bed

Do a load of washing

Fold yesterday's clothes

Make a sweet curry stew with rice for dinner

Watch, pray and wash your hands.

So this Corona Virus is getting serious here Down Under. In our home state, Victoria, people have been dropping like flies after a whiff from the can of Mortein. 

Melbourne and metropolitan towns have been told to stay at home and even  we in the rural areas have been asked to limit our business outside the home.

Masks are becoming mandatory after midnight Wednesday for those in lockdown and we here have been requested to comply. 

We had  a telephone consult about our three monthly blood tests and although Chris's sugars at 9.2 have come down, there's room for improvement. He has to double his Januvia tablets.

My sugars were 8 which our doctor has said was good but could be better. I do have a high GTT on my liver report. Just another thing to worry about, I suppose. Kidney function is good. Cholesterol is fine too.

I don't get much sun as I am inside mainly so not surprisingly, my vitamin  D is low. I am to take 2 Vit D tablets from now on to give it a boost.

Due to comorbidities, Chris and I have been told to wear a mask when shopping etc. I accordingly bought some on ebay today because it is cheaper than the chemist.

I am experiencing some itchy hands from the constant hand sanitisers when we leave the house. I know they are important, and I do use them, but I use soap and water at home.

It's just another cross to bear with fibromyalgia vying for top place in the itching field. My hands usually only itch after I clap my hands. 

But all in all, we have to stay vigilant to stay safe, so I will do as I am told. We have faith in God, but have to have a teachable heart with matters like Corona.

So we keep social distancing, and we watch and pray, and wash our hands. 

Sometimes old school is better

So when we lived in the fifth wheeler, we needed to find a vacuum that actually picked up cat fur, wasn't heavy and didn't take up a lot of room in storage.  We bought a Dyson V6 Animal with disappointing results. 

It became clogged with Xena's fur mainly and it was difficult to unlatch it to empty. At $700AUD, it wasn't cheap.

While it was kind to my sore back, it was not at all kind to my arthritic fingers. In fact, as soon as there was the slightest relaxation of pressure on the red button to run the motor, the thing died.

Last night Chris was able to resolve a problem of it stopping and starting erratically. He dismantled it and cleaned the filter and removed dirt from around the collection area. It improved and pulsed properly, but it still is a big disappointment. It simply blocks up too easily and quickly. 

For those Sacrificial Home Keepers with arthritic hands and fingers, or fibro hands, I would not recommend a Dyson. Something old school that runs with a power cord would work better.

Fortunately, we have a Volta Red Devil that has a long cord and we find this better in the long run. Unkind on my back, it doesn't hurt my hands or fingers. Sometimes old school is better.

Today we had our blood tests for diabetes: HBA1C. We went to the chemist to pick up some prescriptions and headed home. Chris needed his insulin injection and breakfast.

I am under the weather with fibromyalgia- same old story: weather changes = pain. So I followed the Wednesday List on Sylvia's Lists and had a much needed nana nap.

We are having a late dinner tonight as we have to wait 8 hours between Chris's injections as we were late with it due to the fasting this morning. Not feeling overly hungry, we are going to just have a frozen dinner.  We eat really well most nights, so a frozen meal occasionally won't harm us.

I am a firm believer in eating nutritious foods and we live on three veg and meat dinners cooked from scratch.  I know take away and fast foods are convenient, but once again, old school is better...

Beauty is all around us

As you probably know, we love cats. We used to have two white cats, but Snowy passed at age 14 and we now have our little white cat, Xena left to love. Both of them were rescue cats.

Xena has brightened my day. She is so amusing. Thinking she is invisible, she crouches after the many birds in our back garden, only to dash back inside when they gang up on her and chirp her away.

She is not very brave or wise. Her white fur is visible to everything. Her demeanour is the yellow of a coward. This is the same cat who squealed when a mouse ran over her paw! She's such a girl! 

With isolation, one has time to watch the antics of cats and birds, and to enjoy the beauty that is all around us. For in spite of pestilence and mayhem, there is still beauty to be found.

It does help me with this current fibromyalgia flare, to go to "the beach" and let the sun play on my skin and listen to the birds and watch our cats' antics.

Not many people can find much beauty in the world today, but I make a point of looking for it- and when I find it, I make sure to thank the One Who made it, and give thanks.

Gratitude and thankfulness in the midst of pain goes a long way in coping mentally with it all. 

Try to take some time out and focus on the good that remains in this sad old world. There is beauty all around us.

Quite a workout!

So last week we had our little granddaughter Taylah and she and I cooked and baked together. It was fun.

We made a beef stew, baked bread, an apple cake, apple turnovers, icecream and choc chip cookies. The sweets were sweetened with Monk Fruit and I used sugar free choc chips.

I have included the recipe I used for cookies because I will be baking them again. Chris loved them!

Basic Cookie Dough: 1 cup butter, room temperature 1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour. Blend butter, sugar, egg and vanilla thoroughly. Add flour and mix well. 

Slice the rolls into 1-1/8 inch slices, bake at 375*F til done, 5-7 minutes. Touch the cookies with your finger lightly and if there is no imprint left, they’re done. To Use Frozen Dough Without Additions: Defrost dough slightly or completely in the refrigerator. Slice dough into 1/8-inch slices. Bake on ungreased baking sheet 5 to 7 minutes. Test for doneness by lightly touching the cookie with your finger, if no imprint remains, they’re done.

We have been here since Christmas and this kitchen has never been so busy! It is a large kitchen and I thoroughly enjoy working in it!

I had to have a nana nap after a baking or cooking session, but Taylah understands that I need to do that. She even knows what fibromyalgia is which is a blessing.

She stood on the stool, donned in my smaller pair of rubber gloves and washed some dishes while I had forty winks. Smart little lassie knows that not only did my kitchen get a workout; so did her nana!

One size fits all.

So it's school holidays and we have been blessed to have our little granddaughter, Taylah stay with us for a few days. With Corona we haven't seen her for ages...

She was feeling the cold this morning and asked if she could try my Oodie on. It was comical to see how big it was on her. For crying out loud- it's big on me, and I am not a light weight!

What made us laugh was that it's advertised as one size fits all- if you can call fits where it touches, " fitting". It made me think of the lies salespeople used to tell us back in the day when we actually got served.

Today we are hoping to go feed the ducks who live in the field near our stream- hoping because of lack of spoons for nana: my fibromyalgia is reacting to the cold and protesting that I baked with Taylah and had some fun yesterday.

But as I said to one of my reader friends, I want to live my life, not merely endure it. So I have had to do what I can to make happy memories with my granddaughter and pay the price in pain after.

Fibromyalgia is a balancing act that demands choices daily. Choices based on available spoons. And if the spoons aren't there to be used, it demands a rethink of every action for the rest of the day. It's a harsh master.

So, God willing, I will have enough spoons to help Tay cook a simple meal for dinner tonight, and to bake a no knead bread loaf for lunch.

But one other thing I have noticed with fibromyalgia is that it is different for each of us. Five spoons does not go as far for one fibromite as for another. To say that all spoons are equal is as bad as being told like with my Oodie, that one size fits all...

Rattling those pots and pans

So I had a few spoons today and decided to follow my favourite recipe for no knead bread.  You may recall I bought these appliances with my economic booster courtesy of the Australian government. 

The bread recipe calls for a Dutch Oven and I don't have one, so I used the casserole dish and it did the job beautifully. The bread turned out to be so yummy and we will eat it with a minestrone soup for dinner tonight.

I also have made  icecream using Monkfruit sweetener. It is in the freezer as I type, getting ready to be tonight's no sugar low carb dessert!

I have been preparing our guest room because tomorrow we will be blessed with our little granddaughter's company for a few days. Boy, have I missed her! Our postcodes are not under lockdown with the Corona restrictions, but it's anyone's guess when or if we will be back to lockdown as well. So we are getting her now before it happens.

Housework-wise, I am following each day's work on Sylvia's Lists. I still have bad fibromyalgia, but we are getting there slowly and I am at last ratting those new pots and pans. 

My heart is here

So we have seen total lockdown of a few suburbs in North Western Melbourne because of people testing positive and still visiting family and friends. 

Fortunately we aren't in lockdown yet but I am thinking I better get a bit extra in groceries as lockdowns in Victoria are still a possibility.  Our Premiere has said it may have to be implemented.

We are getting fed up with being home, but we have devised little things to do to make the most of it.

Our little cat Xena has been a lot of fun as we sit and watch her. The birds know she's outside, watching them from a safe distance, but they don't bother with her. They know she's a bit of a coward. If she gets too close they gang up on her and chirp in unison and she feels intimidated and runs off.  We laugh..

Yesterday I baked some bread... it was nice when it was hot but was rather hard when it was cold. It didn't bother our birds who got the left overs.

My last day has come today with the home help lady and I am now on my own for twelve months, until I get the government placing in the Aged Care package. I will be following Sylvia's Lists from tomorrow onwards..

I have polymyalgia rheumatica as well as fibromyalgia at the moment and feel so sore around the neck and shoulders. I am upping my pain killers to paracetamol slow release plus two paracetamol at night. 

Ideally, I would be on prednisolone again, but my sugars are high, I have thinning bones and I really don't want to feel ravenously hungry all the time. Besides, my doctor won't let me have them anymore. 

Not for the first time, I have asked myself why something that actually helps my pain is not suitable? You would think doctors could come up with some pain relief that actually works for all the arthritic and fibro maladies...

I have put the electric blankets on, drawn the drapes and lit the lamps. It's already fresh outside- the hairs in my nostrils just about froze when I opened the door to let Xena back in.

The two heaters are full on so it's not too chilly.  I still love our little home and feel most grateful for it.

Looking at the fire and lamps, our living area has a lovely ambience and it shows me what I feel about living here- the house nurtures us. We both feel that.

If we have to be home in lockdown or because of my fibromyalgia etc, it's such a blessing to have this home to do it in.  

Home is where the heart is, and my heart is here...