It's alright for them!

Since Chris's discharge from the Emergency Department for heart failure, I have been suffering the Mother of all flares. My fibromyalgia has hit an all time high.

No doubt this has been from the stress and anxiety I have experienced since his diagnosis and the blase  doctors who laughed and joked when I asked what his prognosis was.

They made light of my anxieties and wouldn't even engage into any conversation about what exactly was happening to Chris's heart and why. 

I was thinking of making a complaint against them but Chris doesn't want me to.

Their blase attitude to Chris and I reminded me of trying to get my diagnosis of fibromyalgia. The doctors I saw all gaslighted my complaints of symptoms and the anxieties I felt.

It is wrong that they do this to their patients and their family. They should have a little respect- after all, it's not knowing what's going to happen that makes patients anxious, but they often are dismissive and arrogant.

And why not? because it's ok for them to be so nonchalant: it's not their life and marriage potentially going down the toilet. So it's alright for them! 

In for a bumpy ride

 

Life has its good and bad days. They say we all need some rain, but lately life has poured out a torrent of rain in the form of new health issues for Chris and I.

A diagnosis of severe cardiac issues for my husband and worsening arthritis that sees my hands now locking in two trigger fingers has given us both some new challenges.

Unable to drive at the moment, I will have to be chauffeur to Chris and take him to his many tests and doctors appointments mapped out for us.

I don't particularly drive well  because of pain issues with my back, knee and now my thumb won't bend and I am afraid that I won't be able to hold the steering wheel properly. And all the more challenging is that my trigger fingers and thumb are on my right hand.

I have been stocking up on grocery shopping and keeping up with prescriptions that we need in order to not have to leave the house much. It will be enough for us both that we need to get to hospitals and the doctor and chemist weekly.

In my old age I find I cannot take stress as well as I used to and this has created the Mother of all Flares in my fibromyalgia. I truly am afraid for my husband.  But I must stay strong for him and he will never know how anxious I am.

My hope is that his appointments and tests are evenly spaced out because after a day of driving, my muscles rebel and my spoons are gone and I am done in. I simply must pace myself, but medical matters can't be organised like a new haircut or a dental visit.

For those of you who are believers, I would be grateful for prayer for strength and driving ability. Especially seeing as it is really going to rain and we are both in for a bumpy ride.

Is a little compassion too much to ask for?

 It is so difficult to adjust to a new normal after a diagnosis. After many years of wondering why I had all over pain and tiredness, I finally got a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

I was relieved that I had a name to put to the painful syndrome that sucked the life out of me and added to my woes as a sufferer of angina, arthritis and back pain. And polymyalgia rheumatica thrown into the mix.

It made sense that with all these ailments, I would be finding it more difficult, or even impossible to do the chores that after a lifetime of being a wife and mother, were familiar and regular as the rising and setting of the sun.

With the newest diagnosis, came a depression because not only was I totally frustrated with having to constantly adjust to my new normal, but I was not afforded much compassion or understanding from others.

It was intimated, but not said, that I was lazy and using ill health as an excuse to be lazy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was laid low emotionally as well as physically.

These days, it is rare to find someone who is compassionate for the chronically ill and/or aged. And it compounds the frustration and anger one can feel as one goes through the cycles of grief with a new diagnosis that limits one further.

I know a little understanding from others would go a long way to help me adjust and accept it every time I am faced with a new normal. 

Sadly, not only do most people now not want to listen about chronic illness, but they don't want to know. 

It's not a hard thing to commiserate with the trampled flower bowing under the weight of pain and illness and later, stigma. 

We don't necessarily ask for help from others, but is a little compassion too much to ask for? 

Red meats on Good Friday?

With Good Friday being on us, often the question of whether or not to serve red meat comes up. There is a tradition in the Catholic church that red meat is not eaten on Friday and the protestant churches followed with it not to be eaten on Good Friday.. 

Because I have found nothing in scripture forbidding us to eat red meat on Good Friday- or even on Fridays for Christians, I have no problem whatsoever eating it. In fact, when I was worshiping at a Pentecostal church, they held a BBQ after the Good Friday service. The answer for our house is yes we eat it on Good Friday- however, if someone is with us who has a problem with that, we abstain for their sake. Scriptures don't tell us not to eat red meat on Good Friday, but they do tell us to respect the conscience and belief of those who don't wish to. I  believe like everything in the Christian life, it comes down to loving your neighbour and fellow man. 

This year because my son is living with us and because he upholds the traditions of his childhood when his (non-practicing) Catholic Italian father didn't eat it, we will be having fish. Likewise our family BBQ for Easter is going to be at my daughters' home with fish as the mainstay,  because her husband upholds the traditions of the Catholic church. They do not eat red meats on Good Friday. 

I believe we are to respect other peoples' conscience in our decision whether we serve red meats to them. It is the loving thing to do.. Have a blessed Easter! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

If any of them that believe not bid you [to a feast], and ye be disposed to go; whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake. But if any man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth [is] the Lord's, and the fulness thereof: Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another [man's] conscience? For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks? Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.  1 Corinthians 10: 27-31

Our back garden's like an airport

So today as I was resting on the couch with a fibromyalgia flare, I saw that a whole lot of birds had come to dine on the new round of birdseed and strips of steak leftover from dinner last night.

We had galahs, parrots, minor birds, pigeons and even a duck. They were flying in and taking off so much that our back yard looked like an airport.

Chris took a video but because he couldn't get too close to the back door without frightening them, the video isn't as clear as we would have liked. However, you get the idea.

With it being a cold rainy day today, it was the perfect day for a lie on the couch and as always, the picture window/door provided a wonderful view of the birdlife.

It's pretty cosy here though with the fire going and dinner bubbling in the slow cooker. Once again I am grateful for this house which nurtures us so much, especially during times of lockdown or recovery from fibro flares.

The view from our couch always changes like a screensaver, even if it's just a couple of butterflies flying past, a duck waddling in the yard or our back garden looking like an airport. 

 

 

The only blessing about getting old

 

It's Tuesday morning here. I have our cleaning lady coming at ten. Before she gets here, I want to tidy the house and get a load of washing done. 

She usually vacuums and mops the floors and cleans the bathroom for me. As an aged pensioner, the government has certain home care packages for the aged and I have been approved for one. I do pay a fee for her services, but it is subsidised through the government Aged Care Plan. 

I consider myself blessed beyond measure. Those jobs are ones I can no longer do and as Chris is quite unwell himself, I don't even ask him to attempt to do them. 

Having home help is not a matter of being lazy- with fibromyalgia, heart and spinal issues and arthritis, there are a lot of tasks I just cannot do anymore. 

As I have written before, I am grateful for all my labour saving devices and the Home Package Care Plan I qualified for.

I think it's the only blessing about getting old...

An old hand in need of a new one

In trying to come to terms with my sore hands and lack of energy with my fibromyalgia, I have come up with some new tricks to help in cooking meals.

I have gleaned all the catalogued convenience foods available online and I have found some things that I don't have to peel or chop.

Getting my meat already diced and my vegetables pre-cut and peeled is more expensive, but if it means that we can still enjoy nutritious meals, then so be it.

My freezer has diced onions, pumpkin pieces, diced carrots, broccoli and florets of cauliflower as well as pre-cut chicken, stewing steak that has been diced and diced bell peppers. I no longer peel and chop and mash potatoes, but I use the frozen potato with butter added. It is worth the expense.

I have a jar of minced garlic so that I don't have to peel the cloves. Our pantry has spaghetti, penne and rice that cooks in the microwave in 90 seconds. I use that because I no longer can hold the colander to drain it. Our fruit is canned as I can't peel apples or oranges.

I keep our butter in a dish in the pantry because I cannot hold the knife to cut through hard butter or to scrape it. My diet lemonades now come in bottles because I cannot manage the pull rings and my tomato sauce is in an easy pour container for the same reason.

I am grateful for anything which will save my hands, like my electric can opener and my dryer as I no longer can hang washing out to dry. You don't realise how hard pegging something on is until your hands are too weak to push on the pegs.

But one simply has to go on and like all good Sacrificial Home Keepers, and I do. It just takes a bit more planning and a lot of research to keep at it when you are an old hand in need of new ones.

Here’s what works for my fibromyalgia blogger friends

• Cynthia from The Disabled Diva shares her top tips
• Shelly from ChronicMom blog shares her #1 recommendation
• Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper on tricks to help cooking  
• Mandy and Michele on their preferred medication
• Lee Good, who is discovering what works to help Fibromyalgia at Fibro Files 
• Katie from Painfully Living shares what’s worked for her
• Sue at Rebuilding Wellness blog shares her top tips
• Carrie shares her top tips at My Several Worlds blog
• Bettina shares what works for her in the hope that it will work for you
• Nikki from the Brainless Blogger shares her top tips
• Bethan from Hello Fibro Blog shares what she’s learnt since diagnosis
• Looking for the Light blog lists three recommendations for you to try
• Cynthia from My Inspired Fibro Life shares her tips
• Donna over at Fed up with Fatigue writes about the beneficial fibromyalgia treatments she’s used since diagnosis

Thank God I am just passing through

 

 

 

These last few weeks I have been in so much pain thanks to my fibromyalgia that I sometimes cry. 

 

Added to all the usual pains of fibro, my hands have now succumbed to arthritis to the point that they are bent like a claw.  My rheumatologist took bloods and an Xray and told me I have osteoarthritis in the hands.

 

It  is progressively getting worse and the pain is overwhelming. My thumb is so sore under the base and I can no longer pick anything up as my thumb will not bend at all.

I have so much pain these days that I often become depressed and cry for just one day of no pain. But that day never comes. I go to bed in severe pain and I wake even worse as the morning stiffness so common in fibromyalgia takes hold of me.

My rheumatologist confessed to me that she there isn't a lot she can do for me and I find my self in despair.

I love the scripture verse in the picture above. It reminds me that this world and therefore, this pain, will pass one day. That thought gets me through some days.

There's a better place in the horizon for all believers and I am grateful for that. LORD knows, I am ready to enjoy a pain free life.

I thank God I am just passing through this sad old world.

 

 

I envy our cat!

 

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would come back as a cat. Xena has the best life ever!

She is a real diva and has two beds, two couches, two director's chairs and endless corners with interesting things like a foot cushion or a printer to lie on. Then there's the sunny window sills and benches for whenever a cat nap is in order. Which for her, is often. I do envy her sometimes.

She has trained us well.. food and water are always available and her litter tray is kept nice and clean. Even her bedding is washed regularly, perfumed and softened with fabric softener.

Our cat's life is a good life. The only tasks in a day are grooming and sharpening her nails on her scratching post- that is where we have trained her well...

With my fibromyalgia pain at an all time high with our colder weather, I often think how wonderful it would be to have no responsibilities and a cosy bed at every turn to fall into. And to be able to peacefully sleep for at least 16 hours a day without feeling guilty would be a dream.

Yes, a cat's life is very desirable.... I could see myself as a feline. But with my bad record with health issues, I probably would be sent on a one way trip to the vet in a steel barred cat cage! 

How to work without dropping from exhaustion.

Sometimes we can get so busy trying to complete our long list of tasks, that we forget to take time out for ourselves during the day.

By time out, I mean taking breaks to keep hydrated, to eat a meal, attend to the calls of nature or to just sit and contemplate one's navel or day dream.

It's important to our mental health as well as our physical well-being.  When we are chronically ill with fibromyalgia for example, we need to learn to pace ourselves between tasks. And here I must say, one should just enjoy the rest break and not feel guilty for taking time out.

It takes a bit of planning to feel productive as well as pacing oneself in order to not suffer too greatly the next day. Here's what I do...

• I write down just the main and most important things I want to achieve by the end of the day. 

• Then I pencil in how long each task should take. 

•  I work through that list with breaks in between. 

• I allow 15 minutes between tasks. 

•  When I see how soon I can be finished, it usually motivates me to get going. 
  

• Visualising how the house will look better after helps too.

• Using Sylvia's lists can be helpful too.
  

Working out how long the list of tasks should take ensures that regular rest breaks are taken to ensure you don't run out of spoons before the list is complete.

There's nothing nicer than reaching the end of your list and feeling a sense of accomplishment without working till you drop from exhaustion...