Tuesday 4 October 2022
This new quest
Friday 30 September 2022
Having patience with yourself.
Lately, I have realised that one of the reasons for my high blood pressure is probably in the way I stress about not being able to do what I want due to fibromyalgia.
Although I know that I am not to blame for being ill, I sometimes find myself berating myself and feeling cross that I am a lame duck. It really gets to me at times.
Often I succumb to false guilt, the guilt that comes from matters that are not in my control, and it is easy to go to the Pit of Despair. You do not want to go there.
On rare occasions, I burst into tears and it is then that Chris usually comes to my rescue, pointing out that it's not my fault, that whatever needs to be done can wait or he promises that he will do it...
It made me think that sometimes I am my own worst enemy. By self-condemnation, I am making a sad situation worse for myself.
When I realised that it was my thinking that makes me get so down sometimes, I smiled at the irony: usually I am trying to validate my tiredness and pain to "normals"- those who do not live with chronic pain and no spoons. Now the "normals" are validating me.
So today, after cleaning my kitchen and making lunch, I am going to "the beach" again. I am going to relax and only get up again when it is time to cook tea.
I am going to start to speak to myself as I would speak to someone else who was ill and blaming themselves: lovingly and kindly. Which just doesn't come naturally to me. I have patience with everyone except myself.
Friday 23 September 2022
Planning already
This year because we finally have a larger home, I am hosting Christmas Day lunch.
As always, I need to plan and pace myself because of my chronic fatigue, so I am looking into buying my foods and gifts early.
Currently I am investigating if I can freeze a joint of ham and one of pork. Also, what type of ham is the nicest to buy?
I know I am going to have a fibromyalgia flare by Boxing Day, but it will be worth it to have some good memories.
Sometimes you just have to push yourself or you never do anything. I am looking forward to it! But to minimise any major flare after Christmas and leading up to it, I am planning already!
Saturday 3 September 2022
Between my nana naps!
Today is Saturday morning here. I have had a busy week with doctors appointments and physio for my daughter who is doing really well.
My son had a possible cancer in his bowels, but the first test was a false alarm and to be honest, it made me anxious. I didn't realise how anxious until he was cleared.
This son was born with a forceps injury to his eye- it looks normal but he has very little sight in it. He has developed a pterygium or sun damage in his good eye and has surgery next Friday to remove the growth because it is growing across his eye and may interfere with his vision. I will be glad when it's done and his eye has recovered.
All this has given me the Mother of all Flares. My fibromyalgia is killing me at the moment and I am taking frequent naps to cope with it. I have a few housework chores to do and some folding up of clean washing. I will do it- in between my nana naps!
Wednesday 17 August 2022
I think I could sleep on the freeway.
Monday 15 August 2022
I am too tired to shout!
Today is Monday morning. I have to do some washing and restack the dishwasher. I have run Sadie the Roomba and am about to do bloods, meds and breakfast.
Later on at 11 a man is coming to do some flatpacks of furniture for us. I am hopeless at this and Chris can't do it anymore. It's a coffee table and TV lowline unit. It's $40 an hour but we had to factor that in when we bought them. It is what it is!
At 2.30 we have to pick Dianne up and take her to a doctor's appointment. Then I have to go to the chemist and get her meds made up.
It's supposed to rain for the next 10 days and the rain has been consistently heavy and constant. I think we are going to need an ark soon. It is making my fibromyalgia worse, and I am pushing myself to get Di to doctors and physio.
I will neverthless be busy with doctors and physio for the rest of the week and possibly next two weeks or more. I am glad Di's knee has been done though. It's all over bar the shouting! With no spoons at all, I am too tired to shout!
Friday 15 July 2022
Out of my comfort zone.
Saturday 25 June 2022
On a wing and a prayer
Monday 9 May 2022
It was a good day!
Tuesday 15 February 2022
Making the most of my spoons
Monday 17 January 2022
Our little haven
Saturday 1 January 2022
I just have to pursue it.
Friday 24 December 2021
Oh no, no ho ho!
Monday 20 December 2021
No mojo with fibro
Tuesday 14 December 2021
Resting my tired twinkle
Thursday 9 December 2021
Something to remember if we move.
I have arms that feel like they're made of lead today. Fibromyalgia. I did our online shop again and it's due to be delivered this afternoon. It's the easiest way for us to do it these days. I have some dishes to wash from lunch and breakfast and I will probably have a nana nap to be able to cope with cooking diner and putting the shopping away.
Lately I've been spending quite a bit of time in bed. It usually doesn't get made much for that reason. But with it looking nice yesterday for the inspection, I decided to take a snap of it. Something to remember if we move.
Wednesday 24 November 2021
Fibromyalgia is a wicked ruler.
Tuesday 19 October 2021
I need him awake and aware
Monday 13 September 2021
Finding beauty in a horrid day
I had trouble waking up this morning. My fibromyalgia has made me feel like I have been run over by a truck. However the day has not been a total loss.
I did a load of washing and now have to put it all away. I am not sure if I have enough spoons left for that because I also washed a whole stack of dishes and I am not sure if I have enough energy left to cook.
I am still in my PJ's. I just might need to take a nana nap or rest at "the beach" so I can recharge. We will see...
The weather has been nice today and I left the back door open and listened to the birds and the stream running. The sun was shining on the water and the birds were calling and coming down to eat the seed and watermelon I left on the back porch for them.
It's important to try to find something lovely in every day, no matter how bad our fibromyalgia is to bring a balance of goodness and beauty in an otherwise horrid day.