Fading fast...

 

Lately it seems that my life consists of pain, fatigue, breathlessness and pacing. pacing. pacing.

Life demands certain things of us and for me it's looking after a sickly husband, a house that is in need of a good clean and now a convalescent sister who is here to recover from a nasty fall after hospitalisation for lupus.

On top of that, we are trying to find rental homes for her and one for my son who was her carer. 

My fibromyalgia is flaring  because I am stressed and all I seem to do is pace myself to ensure I keep the few spoons I wake up with.

I am back to sharing a bed with my husband as my sister is occupying my adjustable one to alleviate some of the pain in her injured back and legs.  Neither Chris or I are sleeping well at night.

So I follow a plan for a rest between tasks and by the afternoon I am so overcome with tiredness that I have to take a nana nap in order to have enough spoons left to cook dinner.

And as I sit resting, I realise that most of the day for me is now resting and pacing in order to just get through. even with minimal tasks planned.

And as the spoons diminish, I realise too that my strength is fading fast with fibromyalgia and old age. It is what it is.

I am fading fast.. the only thing about me that is fast!