Tuesday, 27 June 2023
Friday, 23 June 2023
I need him awake and aware
Sunday, 18 June 2023
The only positive thing for spoonies
Thursday, 8 June 2023
You better go check yours out!
So as you know I have been having problems staying awake. Even after 8 hours of sleep, I battle keeping my eyes open during the day.
This has had me perplexed and I have blamed my fibromyalgia, which still may be a part of what I have been struggling with, but certainly not all.
Going through my refrigerator last week, I sorted through the side top shelf on the door where I keep Chris's insulin injections and my thyroxin. Checking the dates, I was shocked to see that my thyroxin was out of date by two months!
I quickly discarded them and put a new week of indate tablets in my pill container for the week. No wonder I have had peeling skin off my face, hair loss and fatigue...
It's been 6 days so far with little change, but I would expect the synthetic thyroid hormone to build up in my system soon... I am hoping I don't have to wait long.
I am so switched on with medications and foods and so on that have a limited shelf life, but this time, it fell through the cracks...
Considering I have been battling a long term fibromyalgia flare for about 10 months... yes nearly 11 months since moving here, I guess I have to cut myself some slack. Nevertheless, when I discovered the out of date meds, I did tell myself that I am an old sausage! And I am! You better go check yours out!
Thursday, 1 June 2023
It starts with you
Lately, I have realised that one of the reasons for my high blood pressure is probably in the way I stress about not being able to do what I want due to fibromyalgia.
Although I know that I am not to blame for being ill, I sometimes find myself berating myself and feeling cross that I am a lame duck. It really gets to me at times.
Often I succumb to false guilt, the guilt that comes from matters that are not in my control, and it is easy to go to the Pit of Despair. You do not want to go there.
On rare occasions, I burst into tears and it is then that Chris usually comes to my rescue, pointing out that it's not my fault, that whatever needs to be done can wait or he promises that he will do it...
It made me think that sometimes I am my own worst enemy. By self-condemnation, I am making a sad situation worse for myself.
When I realised that it was my thinking that makes me get so down sometimes, I smiled at the irony: usually I am trying to validate my tiredness and pain to "normals"- those who do not live with chronic pain and no spoons. Now the "normals" are validating me.
So today, after cleaning my kitchen and making lunch, I am going to "the beach" again. I am going to relax and only get up again when it is time to cook tea.
I am going to start to speak to myself as I would speak to someone else who was ill and blaming themselves: lovingly and kindly. Which just doesn't come naturally to me. I have patience with everyone except myself.