Ya gotta laugh

                                             

I got some of things I wanted to do done, but alas, it came with a cost. I have another flare of fibromyalgia.

I can hardly move and hurt everywhere. It doesn't help that we have thunderstorms on the horizon  either. So today I have only washed my dishes and I will cook dinner. It's all I can manage.

All our bedding is washed and dried and when our cleaner comes Monday, she will put more clean sheets on. I just did the minkie blankets and our doonas.

I must say that drying the minkie blankets in the dryer has given them a slightly grey tinge, but they are still soft and smell great. Most importantly, they are clean.

My plan for the remainder of the day is to cook bangers and mash for dinner. I will take some Tramadol because my knees are hurting as well as the usual fibro pain.

Xena was outside for a bit and was attacked by a horrible Siamese cat who stalks her. I ran to help her and damaged both my sore knees. I am in too much pain to get down the steps and walk to the back garden to pick up my slipper that I threw at it. 

That Siamese cat didn't want to budge and would not leave the back garden. He's stubborn and has worn out his welcome. Much like my meniscus pain in my worn out knees: joking.  Ya gotta laugh. 

Not as I appear

We chronically ill women try so hard to do "normal" things. Like look well. Be cheerful. Be patient. Kind. Hospitable.

Our family and marriage are our first priority after God. We try so hard to spin our wheel not fast- but at a "normal" pace. By "normal", we compare ourselves to those who do not suffer from chronic illness and pain. Or are disabled.

We are very careful to keep serving our family but sometimes with the illness that afflicts us: we fail. This often gets to us and causes us to sink into depression.

Being unable to process that we simply can't act as "normals", we often berate ourselves and sink into the Pit of Despair. 

We are often judged by "normal" standards, as we simply cannot attend certain social functions like before. If we do, the pain and effort can make us tense and we can make us appear moody unsociable grumps aka the death head at the feast. 

If only "normals" would realise that we are pushing ourselves every day to live a life that not even closely is "normal" like in the days before our health failed. We get so adept at doing this, that we have become quite good at wearing masks to cover the Mask Of Pain. Hence the appearance of being in a mood. 

My fibromyalgia and other health issues have now made it impossible for me to disguise, and I have learned to acknowledge this to people and tell them in advance that my attendance or action or whatever is totally subject to how I am on any given day.

Basically, I have had to pander to injured knees, angina, spinal problems, fibromyalgia, polymyalgia rheumatica, and submit to tyrannical spoons by being totally flexible about my appointments and so on.

People may still misjudge me but that is not my problem. I just pray that the LORD will allow them to see that I am not lazy or unsociable, but am just a chronically ill woman who finds just breathing some days enough effort.

The LORD knows I am not well, but people take a lot more convincing. I am not as I appear: I am not "normal".

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks    

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  Colossians 3:12

It is what it is!

 

So it's Christmas Eve here in Australia. I am struck down with a vicious fibromyalgia flare. 

In recovery from going out for medical tests for both myself and my daughter, I am trying to find some spoons to take a shower before bed.

As I mentioned, Chris and I are cancelling Christmas this year. In light of how I am feeling, it is just as well.

Chris is recovering from a fall last week and is not feeling the ho ho ho either.

Apart from a traditional Christmas lunch courtesy of Lite N Easy, we will be taking it easy tomorrow.

We are going to take Holy Communion online with my sister and son at lunchtime and that will be the extent of our celebrations.

As I said in the last post, it is not an ideal Christmas, but it is what it is.... fibromyalgia wins again! 

It's OK to have a simple Christmas

As you know, I have been having problems with my heart and fibromyalgia. My blood pressure is barely controlled and I am constantly tired.

We have decided to cancel Christmas this year. I haven't even put up a wreath on the front door, let alone, a Christmas tree.

We are staying home and nobody is coming. Contrary to how I would feel in years past, this year's plan gives me peace.

We plan to play games online with my sister and son. There's nothing like a game of online Scrabble with familiar people who are well matched in scores.

None of us is able to attend church these days but that doesn't stop us from worshiping God and remembering Jesus on the day we choose to celebrate as His birthday.

Next week I will be ordering my Christmas food and I will be buying a ham and organic salad vegetables for Chris's and my lunch. I will also be buying some grape juice and matzo crackers, as we plan to take Communion online with my sister and son like we did last Easter.

It is not an ideal Christmas, but with all of us feeling unwell, it is making the best of a bad situation.

We all feel that as long as we remember that God sent His Son Jesus to bear the sins of the world and be our Saviour, then that is what Christmas really is.

Besides, the first Christmas was extremely unpretentious and simple. It's OK if ours is too...

God's got this!

 

So the specialist's receptionist just rang me with my appointment for Monday. It's midday. 

He wants to do a stress test on the bicycle but I can't because of my ligaments being torn in my knees. My last chemically induced exercise test saw them do a code blue for me as it gave me a heart attack. 

So I said no to that and to angiograms.. it's kind of freeing to know that I get to call the shots in my life... it's sad that I got to old age before I said no to doctors... anyway, he waived the $300 fee for video consultation yesterday. Medicare will pay him. So I am very happy and relieved about that...

Thanks to God, I can relax, God's got this! 

This is a great help

 

As you know, I have been having problems with my blood pressure. So I have had to plan my days to include a lot of rest without having my house looking like it's been burgled.

Not for the first time, I have integrated the Lists for a chronically ill home keeper into my day. I will be following these Lists from Sylvia Britton of Christian HomeKeeper for the next week or so.

I find them invaluable. Here's the link if you want to try them too.

Being your own doctor

So over the past few weeks, I have been having problems with my blood pressure. I currently am on  seven different tablets a day to lower it and my doctor has been trying to improve the results by switching around how I take them.

So along with my other blood pressure tablets, he had me taking my Physiotens .4 in the morning with my other Physiotens .2. As well as the other ones.. all at once.

This did not go over too well with my body. An hour after taking them, I became so sleepy that I fell asleep at my computer. I then had to sleep them off for about three hours in bed.

My mouth was so dry I couldn't swallow easily as food would get stuck in my throat.and my eyes were dry, making them red and sore. I was craving water like someone in the desert...

It was aweful at times as I would suddenly come over sick and nearly retch. I got normal BP readings but I was not happy with  how I felt.

So I did a Google search and Viatris who make Physiotens said that the maximum dose a day was .600 and that amount should not be taken at the same time. Further, all my symptoms were side effects of the Physiotens or Monoxidine

I had a phone consult with my doctor and told him the story and said it's true  not to take the .600 in one hit, but on occasion it had been done in cases of stubborn high BP and was effective. But at what cost? I thought.

I told him I wasn't happy with how I felt so he said to experiment myself. I felt like saying.. but I am paying you to direct me but I didn't... he usually is very good.

Anyway, last night  I woke up for the bathroom and I felt weird. I could hear my heart thumping in my ears, I felt dizzy and my legs didn't seem to want to hold me up.

I ran my wrists under the cold water in the ensuite vanity, took a couple of paracetamol tablets and went back to sleep- which hasn't been that good since I changed the tablets around- another side effect apparently!

Waking up at 8am, I felt nauseous and dizzy so I thought my BP would be low- it was high at 214/88 with 69bpm. My bpm is usually 59-60. I immediately took all my tablets, except the .2 which I plan to take tonight.

I checked my BP an hour later and it was 161/82 62bpm. I went to sleep for a few hours and retook it. It was 136/73 57bpm which was much  better.

It's not the first time that I have thought it is sometimes better to be your own doctor these days.

When the fog clears, tea's on the list.

 

Recently I have been having trouble remembering things. At 70, I worry about dementia and think that maybe I am going down that path.

But in talking with people who suffer from fibromyalgia like I do, I realise that fibro brain fog can make one forgetful. Especially during flares.

Having just moved house about 6 weeks ago, I am just starting to recover physically. I have a flare that is pretty constant with no spoons and I do forget things. And words mid sentence.

I don't think me forgetting to order tea in the online grocery order really means I  have dementia. I guess fibromyalgia flares can do that.

Looking through Marketplace the other day, someone was selling a bassinette identical to the one I had for my 4 children. It brought back memories like they were only yesterday.

But that didn't make me feel very at ease about my forgetfulness because dementia robs one of short term memory. But then so does fibromyalgia during a flare.

Considering all my previous times of brain fog during a flare, and my subsequent good memory, I surmised that it was not dementia, but brain fog from said flare. 

I believe when the flare abates, and the fog clears,  I will remember the tea in next week's shopping list. 

"We give You thanks"

                                          

"We Give You Thanks"

Lord, as we gather at this table
May we be truly grateful
For the bounty You have given us.
We thank you for the earth and rain,
The good harvest and the wholesome grain
That went into our daily bread
And kept the stock that kept us fed.
Thank you for the hands that cooked and baked,
And for the water that our thirst slaked.
Please accept our thanks as we honour You
For Your goodness in giving us this food.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of [our] lips giving thanks to his name. Hebrews 13:15

We're going for a run

As you know, I have had to resort to using a wheelchair when I go out.  It is not something I am happy about, but it is a necessary part of adapting to my new normal.

Along with walking, there are a few other things I have had to adapt to as well. 

I sit on my shower seat. When I get out, I sit down again and dry off. That's about all the time I can stand.

Most times, Chris stacks and unstacks the dishwasher and this has stopped me having to stand and bend.

I always use the dryer even in good weather. I miss the smell of sun-dried clothes, but it is what it is.

I do make my bed for company, but even so it is just pulled up quickly, nothing fancy. I can't stand to tuck it in and I can't bend either...

With the ageing Australian Government Package, I have a support worker come every two weeks. She changes our beds.

Also within this Home Care Package, I can order ready cooked frozen dinners from Lite N Easy. The meals are designed by a dietitian and cooked by a chef. They are quite delicious and save me from having to stand to cook and I know we are eating well.

I am grateful for all this as it allows me to still be mistress of my home in spite of illness, pain and disability. But even so, I find myself longing for the soon rapture of the Church.

It will be so glorious to not only see my Saviour, but to be able to breathe easily, feel joy and go for a run...

Not falling off the vine

 

Since turning 70 last May, I have noticed a rapid decline in our health. Heart issues are worsening, pains are hurting, fibromyalgia is making spoons are scarce and my mood is darkening.

We both are enjoying the peace in our home that has been jealously guarded and nurtured. Quite simply, we cannot cope with other's dramas.So much so that we have become reclusive.

The days when we don't have to leave our home are cherished days. And even though we make a point to get dressed each morning, we are not adverse to having a couple of Pajama Days occasionally.

In short, we are wearing out. Physically, mentally and emotionally, we are spent. I can say that we aren't spiritually spent because we pray and worship a lot. It does help.

I have been posting a little spasmodically because of excessive fatigue, and I have decided that from tomorrow onward, I will post in a diary form recording bloods, blood pressure and so on. Plus anything else the LORD puts on my heart.

Today is Sunday and I have just done the least I can do to keep our home manageable. With the fatigue being bad and no spoons, I took a nana nap and it turned into a grandma nap. Three hours.

But I woke up and felt a bit better and managed to fold some clothes that had spent their new clean life in the laundry basket...

Anyway, I had a comforting thought which I will share: there's an old saying that the aged say... "I am so ripe that I am falling off the vine!" Not very comforting. 

But the next thought was comforting- physically, yes I am- but spiritually, not so. Instead I am grafted into the Vine- Jesus and He sustains me and gets me through this painful path called life...

So, with His help, I am definitely not falling off the vine! 

Hear me roar

So I have a bad habit of leaving my dishes until I feel like doing them. This is a big mistake because we all know that they multiply overnight and in the morning you cannot find the spoons to do them. So you don't.

Eventually you run out of dishes and knives and forks and of course, pots and pans. You work harder by having to scrub really dried on food. It's a drag.

So the other day I woke up and decided that this would be the day I washed all those dishes and cleaned my kitchen. With both my knees with meniscus tears, I doubted I would be able to accomplish this.

Anyway, in stints of about 15 minutes each, I managed to knock over the dishes and clean the kitchen. It was a novelty to see the benchtops clear of dishes and I pinched myself to make sure I was seeing the empty draining board and not imagining it.

Life has been tough lately with torn knees, sciatica and fibromyalgia flaring. I haven't been able to stand much and my muscle pain has been horrible. But I did it! 

To 'normals' reading this, you probably will be thinking it's no big deal- it's doing the dishes. But to me it's like climbing a mountain or going on a 30 mile hike. That's how my body reacts.

To my Sacrificial Home Keeping Sisters, you will be rejoicing with me because you know how even a seemingly small task can feel like a marathon.

It was a marathon and I won! you can't believe how extremely proud of myself I am feeling right now. And relieved. It's nice to prepare a meal in a well organised and clean kitchen. 

I am savouring the moment and don't care if you are laughing at me! I can do anything! 

I am woman-hear me roar! 

We need to share the load

Sometimes I feel guilty for letting off steam at times but I really believe I could have a bit more support than what I am getting. 

We sometimes have words during my fibromyalgia flares and when I have polymyalgia rheumatica at the same time, it can make me scream in desperation. I just want a hand. It helps me emotionally as well as physically and I feel nurtured.

I know my husband is unwell and he has my understanding and utmost sympathy. But sometimes, the pain gets so bad and I have so little spoons that I will yell at him to come and make his own cup of tea or whatever.

After words,  I often cry because I aren't usually like that.  Pain changes people.  Especially unrelenting pain. And unrestorative sleep. Especially that.

Yet, to those who don't know the desperation that pain drives you to, they would just think I was being unreasonable and using my fibro to elicit a response from Chris. 

It's not that at all. Our health issues mean that there are times when we have to help one another. And lately when Chris is not well, I find I am left to push myself beyond my own comfort level while he sleeps on the couch.

His pain is not at the same high level mine is. His health issues relate to other issues regarding heart problems. But his issues are difficult for him to bear. I know that. 

Chronic illness in both people in a marriage presents its own problems. Each one having pain that makes the eyeballs bulge, causes arguments of who's pain or condition is worse than the other's. A form of validation if you will.

But here's the scoop about chronic illness. It's not a contest. Just another thing about chronic illness that most don't understand. We need to share the load.

Loving Australian Damper

The other day, we ran out of bread and Chris and I didn't feel like driving to the shops. 

Now I cannot make a decent loaf of bread so my  friend suggested trying damper. It is a bread that has no yeast and has been baked since the dawn of settlement in Australia. So I tried my hand at making Australian Damper.

In the past I have used bread makers and have tried endless recipes for no knead bread without success. Oh, it tastes great straight out of the oven with lashings of butter, but as soon as it cools off, it is as heavy as lead. It even breaks the birds' beaks when I throw it out for them! haha

But this method for damper was so easy and we both enjoyed it so much. Why not give it a try?

Are you a senior Aussie?

 

These days groceries have gone through the ceiling and it is very hard to be able to afford meat and fresh fruits and vegetables.

When you are chronically ill and disabled, cooking becomes a real chore and meals can become less tasty and nutritious.

I was feeling  all this when my Aged Home Care Package was reactivated and it was with sincere gratitude that I was able to access Lite N Easy Meals. 

They are created by dietitians and cooked by chefs and are very tasty. My Aged Care Package pays 70% of the cost and I can order 28 meals every two weeks- or more often if desired.

If you are a senior in Australia, check out your eligibility for you Aged Care Package. You will be glad you did.

Ordinary is good!

It's Tuesday morning here. I have just finished putting the groceries I got online away. It's so convenient for Chris and I seeing as we both are unwell

I have done a couple of loads of washing and am thinking about doing some lunch. Toasted cheese and tomato sangers sounds good and easy.  

My kitchen needs to be cleaned but I am out of spoons as I didn't sleep well last night. The weather is changing as it's autumn here and we can experience all seasons in one day. It plays havoc with my fibromyalgia. It's making me feel miserable.

I am thinking of taking a nana nap before I do the kitchen. But before that I will take some Panadol Osteo   to help relieve my fibro pain. Pacing and resting are not an option with fibromyalgia: it's a necessity. 

After I clean the kitchen I will cook chow mein and rice for dinner and if I have enough spoons I will fold the day's clean clothes and put them away.

It's an ordinary day here and I am glad. When you think of what's happening in the world, I can truly gratefully say that God has blessed me with a day that's ordinary and good! 

We have to live through the bad times

Every day is precious no matter how much you ache or hurt. Life has to be lived rather than endured.

Realising how short life really is should encourage us to live it with courage, taking hard times as

a challenge.

Not every day will be sunshine and roses, but those days will help us appreciate the days that are.

Remember too, we have to live through the bad times to get to the good.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks 

 “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the   days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians   5:15-17

Closer than close

 

With current world events, it's easy to get impatient waiting for Christ to come for His Bride. However lots of things are happening behind the scenes. 

God is not forgetting about us who long for His appearing. In fact with prophecy being fulfilled on a daily basis, we can be sure that things aren't falling apart, but coming together. 

Jesus is coming soon. And just like the picture portrays here, He may be closer than we think. 

What is the rapture?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks  

and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for, from the day that the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. 2 Peter 3:4

When the spoons are gone forever

 

The Australian government allocates $53,000 pa in a care plan to try to keep aging people in  their own home if possible. It works out cheaper than putting them into a nursing home. I am so grateful to live here where there's help because aging is no fun!

A lot of oldies here have to sell their home to get into a nursing home and/or have their aged pensions garnished. Chris and I have absolutely no assets to garnish and the Aged Care Package here is means tested.  

We rely on the Aged pension and that is all we have... so we qualified. 

We have worked hard in our lifetime, managed our homes, worked outside the home, brought up our children and possibly, even grandchildren. Now we find either that our spouse has passed away or is also suffering the effects of old age and cannot help up either.

There's no shame in asking for help. Even Sacrificial Home Keepers eventually run out of spoons and they are gone forever.

Making memories.

 

It's school holidays her in Australia and I am waiting for my granddaughter to bring my great-granddaughter to lunch today.

Of course my fibromyalgia has decided to flare up and I have had to really push myself to get up and do my morning chores.

Years ago, I realised that sometimes we have to push ourselves to actually live. I could put off the visit until I feel better, but memories must be made.

It's a bit unnerving

So half an hour ago Chris and I were discussing getting a new phone.

Chris asked how many points do I have from loyalty to Telstra and I said I would check on it.

Ten minutes later, this message came answering my points question.

I hadnt even checked it out at the time.

Tell me that AI Siri isnt listening in on our conversations. Its a bit unnerving...

 

The trust is gone!

Just something funny but serious happened here this week. We both have had stomach cramps and the runs and we were questioning what foods could have been responsible. Nothing out of the ordinary was eaten... well, I started using new dishwasher stuff and Chris has been helping me load it. 

Today we were doing it together and I said that it needed more drying aid in the dispenser. So Chris hands me the drying aid...only it wasn't it. It was the dishwasher cleaner... I said is this what you have been using? he said it was... I told him it was the wrong product... his response was but it is blue!.... 

No wonder we were having bad cramps... He needs to get his eyes checked. Seriously! the trust is gone... I will be loading the dishwasher myself from now on.... perhaps that was his plan?! lol

You must make a choice

In life, we don't have a say how we were born, or who our parents are, but in death, we do have a say. Either we will be in Heaven or hell. Either our Father will be God or the devil.

Based on how we want to live forever, and the decision we make to that end, we have a say- a very important choice of whom we will serve. We have to make that choice- either we serve God and live with Him or we choose Satan and suffer with Him forever.

Make the choice to love God and live for Him. And remember, your indecision and silence means you remain in your sin, a child of the devil. You cant be half-Christian... you are saved or not.

Make the choice to be a Christian today. The end of your life here demands a choice. Get saved today. You must make a choice.

Making hygiene fibro friendly

                                         

I have been ill with fibromyalgia for about twenty years now. In that time, lots of things have changed, and one of them is my personal hygiene routine.

One would think that taking a bath or a shower would be an easy thing to accomplish, but if you suffer from chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, back problems or angina problems like I do, you would realise that it consumes a lot of your spoons. So I had to do a bit of rethinking of my daily routines. I've discovered that one of the places that takes a lot of my spoons is the bathroom.

Because bathing and drying and dressing exhaust me, I varied my time in taking a bath depending on how well I feel. If I have enough energy, I would bathe in the morning, if not I would take a shower before bed as Chris is home and he helps me get dried and into my nightie. (When you are chronically ill, you quickly get over being humbled by needing assistance- you are grateful for any help available.)

I have found that if I take a bath or shower in the morning I am left with no energy for the rest of the day. If I take my shower at night, I have just enough energy afterwards to get myself to bed, which works out much better.

Hot baths or showers leave me too exhausted and give me angina pain, so I take showers with only warm or tepid water. While I would prefer to shower every day, showering is best done every other day for me to avoid flare-ups of pain, fatigue and soreness. I have decided on some new course of action to make time in my bathroom more fibro-friendly.

One of the first things I changed was how I take a shower, or rather, the position in which I shower: sitting. Here I find those telephone type showers are useful. When I get out of the shower, I sit down to dry off.

I can no longer blow dry my hair so by necessity my hairstyle has been wash and air dry for years now. Time in front of the sink brushing my teeth or washing my face has been modified by resting one foot on a stool while standing. Because of spinal problems and being a short person, I have a glass in my bathroom which I fill with water and use for rinsing and cleaning my toothbrush without straining to reach the tap.

I no longer wear makeup, the standing in front of the mirror and the use of my hands in holding the various tools of the task, is now limited to special occasions only; it is too painful a task to do on a daily basis. Also, my face is so sensitive that it breaks out in red welts at the slightest pressure... which includes smearing on foundation. This is called dermagraphia.

The bottom line is taking a shower is a real workout now. In addition to modifying how I take a shower, I am going to follow these 3 rules: I will only take a shower at night, I will only take warm water showers and I will only take a shower every other day. With the employment of a good deodorant after each shower and a fresh change of underwear each night and morning, I have found that I don't offend anyone and remain feminine and dainty.

Life with chronic illness is complicated, but at least I manage to stay clean while living it!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Help until He comes

Today was a busy day in that I was organising aged care help for Chris and I ... we arent coping all that well... lots of phone calls that had me on hold for at least an hour each 

After nearly a whole day on the phone, I am happy to report that we were approved for help. Our aged care home package will start in 3-4 weeks. It includes transport, home maintenance, podiatry, and grass cutting. Later on as we get older it will include meals on wheels... but as long as I can cook, we would prefer our own cuisine. 

I am hoping that God takes us Home soon. That is the best thing to dwell on. But meanwhile, while we wait, my house could do with a deep clean, our toenails are feral and we need them properly done. We cant take a bath and we help each other shower but a grip bar and telephone type shower have been promised to us under home maintenance, and that would stop the suffocation feeling of water pouring over our head when we can't breathe at the best of times.. 

We cant drive most times and we will need transport for a personal consultation with our doctor and the help they offer is needed now.  Nothing to do with lack of faith or not watching- but we have to be practical. 

Heart failure is a beast that stalks us both and is a progressive disease. Peripheral neuropathy in our feet and legs is a constant pain that stops sleep.  A physiotherapist may be able to help or offer exercises to alleviate it.. all things that need attention now. 

Including last but not least, changed bed linen that can be done without banging gnarled fingers and hands... and while we look with anticipation and longing to be Home, the daily necessities of life are calling. 

We rely on God to help us and are grateful that He has blessed us with the help we need...until He comes. Our life style is always if the LORD wills.... we consider ourselves blessed that we are eligible for the help that's come our way, until He comes! God willing, it will be soon. But if not, we will be accepting help to keep going until He comes.

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

" So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Time on the phone paid off

After nearly a whole day on the phone, I am happy to report that we were approved for help. 

Our aged care home package will start in 3-4 weeks. It includes transport, home maintenance, podiatry, and grass cutting. 

Later on as we get older it will include meals on wheels... but as long as I can cook, we would prefer our own cuisine. 

Once a year someone will come and wash our windows for us. The is all part of the Australian Government's plan to keep seniors in their own home instead of a nursing home.

I had to access three different goverment bodies today via phone with a waiting time of an hour or more, but with the ability to be approved so quickly and for the blessing it will be, the time on  the phone paid off.

 

I can't believe it!

 

The last five days have been a dream come true! I have been sleeping better and I have woken up with spoons!

I have been very careful to keep pacing myself as I don't want to get a rebound flare due to burnout. So far, so good!

It's been about 22 years since I have felt this well. I am very grateful for the respite from pain.

So unusual is this new found energy that sees me operating as a "normal" person, that it feels "abnormal"

But today, I will enjoy this new energy and thank God for it. If it wasn't me I would want to know my secret- no secret.. but in any case, I can't believe it!