Spoons aren't transferable

 

So this morning I needed a shower as I have an important appointment later on in the day. With lockdown and being home most of the time, I have been fairly relaxed about it, but not today.

I did our bloods, gave Chris his insulin injection, ate breakfast and ran the shower. It was heaven on my aching muscles and I let the water run on my sore neck and back. I washed my hair and body and then started to feel weak.

Out of spoons, I sat on the side of the bath trying to catch my breath and get my second wind. It didn't come. 

By the time I had finally got dried and dressed, I was literally shaking and sick with fatigue.

Looking at the clock, I realised that in a few hours I will be leaving the house and walking around. Which normals think as normal, but us sufferers of fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses know, we have to balance everything in the spoon equation. Once spent, they're gone! 

Sitting down to rest and trying to garner some spoons of energy, I realised once again that I simply cannot shower on days I have to go out to an appointment that simply cannot be postponed. 

You would think after 20 years of fibro that I would have learned that spoons aren't transferable.

The only perk of growing old.

 

Last Tuesday there was a knock at the door. We weren't expecing anyone, but were delighted to see a lady employed by the aged care. She was reporting for duty.

Seeing that I hadn't heard anything about a new cleaner since I dismissed the last cleaner, it was a very welcome surprise. 

She stayed for two hours and did a really good job.

Having a clean house lifted my spirits considerably. She will be coming weekly until December, then fortnightly.

I am so grateful for her help and my Aged Care Package entitlement is the only perk of growing old.

I haven't bothered to do it.

 

These last few days since my last post have been difficult to say the least. With Spring here in Australia, the weather has been at its' most changeable. 

In Melbourne where we live, it is possible to experience all seasons in one day and the joke of the day is to wear a bikini under your raincoat. It plays havoc with Fibromites.

We Fibromites know that inclement or changing weather patterns causes a fibromyalgia flare and for me it has run true to form.

I have been unable to think clearly let alone blog, and the depression that has enveloped me in its' dreariness has made it impossible to rise above the constant background of muscle pain.

By the time I have made our bed and tidied our home in preparation for the nurse from Hospital in the Home to come to change Chris's post op dressing, I am in so much pain that I just want to crawl back into that newly made bed. Sometimes I do.

Still on lockdown with Covid 19, we only go to the chemist or face to face doctors appointments when a phone consultation isn't suitable. And the way I have been feeling, it is more than enough.

It is not uncommon for us to prepare ourselves for a few hours out of the home as if we were planning a vacation. When I say "prepare ourselves" I mean emotionally.

We have to give ourselves a pep talk and conjure up motivation and spoons to leave home. Physically, there's not much to do.

We may or may not shower, depending on how recently we have had one. We get dressed and we rest. Avid clock watchers, we usually leave our departure until the absolute last minute, so loathe are we to venture outside these days. By the time we are no longer in lockdown, I think I will be preferring to stay home.

Close to the hour to depart, I will usually check my hair has been combed and on a really, really good day, I will pull all stops out and put on some lipstick. With mandatory masks, no one is even going to see that these days, so lately I haven't bothered to do it.

Buying it by the bucket

I have a very red, itchy face because I suffer with psoriasis. My face flakes like dandruff and is very dry.

This Australian company manufactures organic, totally natural skin care products and I bought a trial pack.

I have applied it twice and it felt really soothing and nice. This morning I have no scabs where I would scratch my face overnight in my sleep.  

With Chris being in hospital and now home, and needing  me to drive him around for daily packing of his wound, I am totally out of spoons.

By the time we get ready, get seen to and drive home, my muscles are begging for mercy and I can't stay awake.

Until Chris is finished with daily dressings, I don't think this fibromyalgia flare will abate.

With fibro, one usually tries to rest to overcome a flare, but for the moment, I just have to push on.

At least with this calming face cream, an itchy face is one less problem I have to deal with. I am not being paid to advertise, but when one finds a great product, it is only fair that one shares it with one's friends.

I will be ordering the large size container soon- and if they make it in bucket size, I will buy a bucket of it and apply it with a paint roller! 

Endone envy!

These last few days and the next few have been extremely busy. Chris has been unwell and is awaiting surgery for a hernia/abcess as we speak. Also, my twin sister is also in hospital with heart problems again.

I don't usually drive, but these last few days I have had to. Driving sure has exacerbated my fibromyalgia pain. But it simply had to be done.

Yesterday, I drove Chris to the ER and then I drove myself home. This morning when I woke I could hardly raise my arms. 

Needing to go the hospital again this afternoon, I had to take a nap because I knew I wouldn't have sufficient spoons to make it there and back if I didn't.

It has been a hot day today. The first majorly hot day in our spring weather. There's more of the same. By the time I got my walker out of the car, then walked the miles of corridors to Chris's room, I was exhausted.

When I got home, I had a cuppa and some paracetamol. I will be having an early night tonight as tomorrow I will be visiting Chris again. 

I think stress exacerbates fibromyalgia symptoms as well. I feel torn about not visiting my twin and staying by Chris's side. Obviously, I can't physically be two places at once, but in my thoughts and heart, I am. 

I wasn't allowed to stay long with Chris due to Covid 19 restrictions, but the only thing that saved my emotions today was seeing the Endone had made him sleep. Seeing him without pain made it easier to leave him.

The kettle is on and my evening meds have been taken. I will ring both the hospitals and check on the patients before I go to bed. 

Fibromyalgia is consuming most of my thoughts right now, and for the first time in my life, I am actually envious of the wonderous soothing effects of Chris's Endone.