Tyrannical spoons

I woke up with high hopes of doing some baking this afternoon. It's been a few months now since I bought a food processor and I wanted to make Chris some sultana muffins with it.

But life had other plans and I had to handle some juggling of bills and made the necessary phone calls and then I took a shower. That's where the day spiralled out of control.

It took me forever to get showered and by that time, all my energy had been sucked off my spoons. I have barely enough to cook dinner.

My fibromyalgia seems to be always there, no longer flaring but constantly making me aware of every movement. Even my eyes seem to ache. Apart from physical torment, it now teases me with fleeting glimpses of spoons that disappear as soon as I flex a muscle. Most disappointing.

So apart from a few dishes washed and sorting out what to have for tea, nothing much as been accomplished.

She's a tyrant, Fibromyalgia. She dictates my days and even my nights and tantalises me with false promises. Ah well, it is what it is.

"The best laid plans of mice and men go awry!" comes to mind as does the scripture that says "a man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps!" 

So today is not a day for baking. Thanks to my tyrannical spoons.

One leg out, one in!

So today we signed a new lease for another year at our little country cottage. We love it here and if one has to be in lockdown like we are, there is no better place for it. 

Because we have cold winters here, we have bought an electric portable heater with realistic flames like the one we have in our living room.  So as we still have cold days in October, I am hoping the heater comes soon. The cold is the only down side of living in this little cottage. 

With my fibromyalgia, I feel the cold especially and some days I feel like I can't warm up. Sometimes I go to bed with my electric blanket just to warm up.

Anyone who suffers from fibromyalgia know that our thermostat is broken. We act like someone who has a fever: we are hot, then cold, then hot again. It's a conundrum as well as a nuisance. Like so many symptoms of fibromyalgia, there's no real explanation as to why.

I used to think it was because I am on blood-thinners for my antiphospholipid syndrome and stents. That was until I joined a really helpful online group for fibromyalgia sufferers called Fibro Blogger Directory. 

There the other members shared about this and many other fibromyalgia symptoms and I quickly learned that I was not the only one with a broken thermostat who slept with one leg out and one in the covers.

 

Sometimes you have to be your own doctor!

It's Saturday evening here. Not much accomplished today except I washed some dishes and will cook dinner soon. 

Chris's face is improving already with his Bell's Palsy and he can open his eye almost fully and his mouth is not as drooped. He is regaining his speech again and is not slurring his words as much. 

His sugars are way up because of the Prednisolone he's been taking. Consequently, he has been sleeping on the couch most of the day. The doctor wants him to discontinue the steroids so this morning was his last day. 

I was awakened by asthma early hours of this morning. The inhaler didn't help much but I still went back to bed because I was needing to sleep. Especially with my night medications. If I don't sleep for 9 hours, I can't focus properly. Plus I am having the Mother of all Flares with my fibromyalgia and can't stay awake.

We have watched all 14 seasons of Heartland and are now waiting for Season 15 next month. We miss it. There's not much on TV or Netflix that we really want to watch. But I like watching something with Chris.

We put our clocks forward an hour tonight as daylight savings ends. I hope to get a better sleep tonight and I have decided to take some of Chris's Prednisolone if the asthma comes back.-it is an average of a week to get into a doctor up here.  

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Sometimes you have to be your own doctor! 

Today was a washout.

 

We had an interesting day. On our way to the doctor and chemist, we found a roadblock because of the heavy flooding we've experienced these last few days. So we tried 3 other ways, only to find a police block on the third. The road has been washed away.

Our small township is cut off from travel at the moment, so we had to cancel. The receptionist got the doctor to ring us but it didn't do me much good as I was needing my blood pressure taken. More rain is forecast for the next 10 days. 

My orthopaedic surgeon for my damaged knee was cancelled as well. We are quite happy to stay home with 1400 new Covid cases today in Victoria including 22 from our area. I may not reschedule as I am determined not to have surgery as hospitals are best to be avoided at the moment. 

I have been shopping for extras in case of emergency, so it paid off today when we couldn't get out. I have plenty of medications in the house too. I am so glad I did some planning.

My only grumble was that we had to shower, dress and leave the house for nothing. My fibromyalgia pain is at a disabling level. I think the weather has caused a major flare. 

After dinner I will be getting back in my PJ's and taking a Tramadol and curling up with my electric blanket. At least the night won't be a washout. Today certainly was.

This is what met us trying to get out of our township.

You don't get that in the city

 

What we saw from our back door. Xena is sitting eyeing off the Kingfisher who isn't at all perturbed by her. Nor was the rosella who flew in for some seed and watermelon. Never a dull moment in our backyard.

It was such a lovely day. We sat on our couch and just listened to the stream and the birds were calling and coming down to eat and drink and bathe in our birdbath. It was relaxing like a day at the beach, which is what we call our couch, "The Beach"

Later the Kingfisher was joined by his mate and two others who dine at our place frequently. They came to an inch of Xena and she just sat in the sun watching them. They've got her pegged: she's a scaredy cat!

Chris's face was paining him from his Bell's Palsy and my fibromyalgia was making me feel as if I had been run over by a bus, but the peace and the sunshine made us glad to be alive.

Some corellas just joined the chorus and a kookaburra started laughing nearby. Not for the first time, we commented how much we love our little country cottage and its wildlife. You don't get that in the city.

Of fresh air and cats

I am a fresh air person. I can't wait for the opportunity to open all the windows and doors. The air, the smell of the new mown grass and listening to the birds and cows lowing make me glad to be alive! And like most of God's blessings to us: it's free! 

So today is freezing at the moment. (It's Sunday morning just before nine) Chris didn't sleep well, so I am keeping the house quiet. I am putting the oven on high and leaving the oven door down to warm the kitchen.

Soon I will take a cup of tea in to him and when he gets up I will cook an English breakfast for him. Bacon, eggs, tomatoes and baked beans with some toast. 

I managed to plow through those dishes yesterday but I didn't get around to putting away the washing. It sits on the empty side of my bed calling my name. I hope to get it today as we aren't going out. The chemist can wait until tomorrow. I have enough meds for today and the morning. 

Xena our cat hasn't made an appearance yet. She's sleeping in my side of the bed that's got the electric blanket on warm. Funny how cats always know how to look after themselves. But to be honest, she's helped me learn how to relax over the years. I love cats! 

Life is still good!

It's a busy today. I have lots of dishes to wash, washing to fold and put away and a few meals to cook. 

It is a public holiday today as it's the Grand Final of Aussie rules football. We don't follow football and I only found out as our chemist is closed today. Footy is like a religion over here, and if you don't have a footy team to barrack for, you are virtually ostracised! I don't even know who's playing! 

We are in Spring here and today is a bit warmer so I may sit on the deck and get some sun and watch the birds. The sun hopefully will ease my aching neck and shoulders. My fibromyalgia is kicking me majorly.

Life is hitting us both hard health wise, but even so, life is still good! 

Starting the day off with a bang

I was feeding the birds at the back door when I heard a rumbling and then the house started swaying violently. It lasted about a minute but seemed longer. 

A bottle of perfume rolled off my dresser and some pictures on the walls moved position, but apart from my nervous system, we had no real damage. 

It registered 6 on the Richter scale with the epicentre near us and only 40 feet underground. Our house is still shaking a bit now and then from aftershocks...

Nothing like an earthquake to start the day off with a bang! 

Finding beauty in a horrid day

I had trouble waking up this morning. My fibromyalgia has made me feel like I have been run over by a truck. However the day has not been a total loss.

I did a load of washing and now have to put it all away. I am not sure if I have enough spoons left for that because I also washed a whole stack of dishes and I am not sure if I have enough energy left to cook. 

I am still in my PJ's. I just might need to take a nana nap or rest at "the beach" so I can recharge. We will see...

The weather has been nice today and I left the back door open and listened to the birds and the stream running. The sun was shining on the water and the birds were calling and coming down to eat the seed and watermelon I left on the back porch for them.

It's important to try to find something lovely in every day, no matter how bad our fibromyalgia is to bring a balance of goodness and beauty in an otherwise horrid day.

Of birds and sunshine

 

It's Wednesday morning here. I have gotten up early because I have to repack a smart TV that was delivered and it wasn't what we ordered. Chris will then take it to the Post Office and send it back. Then we will get a refund.

After that we have to go to the chemist and get some scripts made up. It's pretty ordinary stuff, but it's a half hour drive and with lockdown still enforced here, it's an outing. We are going stir crazy! Getting supplies and medication is legal, so we don't have to worry about being fined $5000 AUD. The fines have been increased because there are many people going about and ignoring lockdown. I guess they are over it too, but it is what it is.

I have last night's dinner dishes to do before we go anywhere. Due to having no spoons, (energy) I will take my shower before bed. The weather's supposed to be nice today and I am looking forward not only to the drive, but sitting in my walker on the back porch and watching the birds. The sun might help me with my fibromyalgia pain in the neck and shoulders. Along with the pain killers I will pick up from the chemist today.

There's nothing like sunshine and bird watching to chase the blues away.