A Wonderful Place

 

As I get older, I have grown to appreciate my home so much. I have strived to make it an oasis of calm when the world is anything but.

There is much enjoyment in just staying home and relaxing when needed and eating some comfort food and making tea as desired.

It has taken me years to streamline my home making to accommodate my need for pacing due to my many illnesses, especially fibromyalgia.

I have needed to curtail my perfectionism for illness has put an end to that. And with that, peace has come.

To be able to stay at home and just do what is strictly necessary on a spoonless day is very freeing, as is slipping in to bed when I need it.

Knowing I have no need to face a busy world unless I want to is comforting as well. Sometimes leaving home is a struggle. By the time I have showered and dressed, I am totally exhausted.

By accepting myself, which includes my ailments, I have put to bed false guilt and have come to a place of peace. 

Along with my home, it is a wonderful place to be in...

We have to live through the bad times

Every day is precious no matter how much you ache or hurt. Life has to be lived rather than endured.

Realising how short life really is should encourage us to live it with courage, taking hard times as

a challenge. And living with fibromyalgia is a big challenge.

Not every day will be sunshine and roses, but those days will help us appreciate the days that are.

Remember too, we have to live through the bad times to get to the good.

 

 

Made with Love

 

I have been watching You Tubes and Face Book reels of people cooking and it sometimes makes me feel inferior as a cook.

All my life, I have a love/hate relationship with cooking and honestly I can say I am no chef!

Because I believe that eating nutritious food is important, and that meals cooked at home often create good memories, I have always tried to prepare tasty meals for my family.

Even with my chronic illness and aging, I still cook for my family and it is always some protein with vegetables.

With fibromyalgia flares and episodes of chronic pain, I often feel like offering something straight out of can or not so tasty, but I remember what my mother used to tell me: it takes just as long to prepare something nice as it does to not bother. 

Accordingly, I always take effort in making something that my family like. I feel better about myself and they know that their meal is made with love.

Stopping perfectionism in its tracks.

 

In my early days, I used to be a perfectionist in my homemaking. I dusted and vacuumed the house every day. Clothes were washed, dried, folded and ironed the same day.

With the advent of spinal problems, kidney stone surgeries, and later heart surgeries, the perfectionism wained.

After my children were grown there wasn't so much work to do. With the advent of fibromyalgia and now lymphedema, I am lucky to be able to stand long enough to cook a meal- let alone iron stuff that nobody sees much now that I am a full- time couch potato! 

In spite of everything and with help from my Home Support Package, my home is still clean and by constant chipping away at tasks, it looks reasonably clean and organised.

I still have pride in a job well done, but the push to produce and the motivation is almost gone.

Illness has a way of stopping perfectionism in its tracks. 

A boring home life

It's Saturday morning here. I have just finished putting the groceries I got online away. It's so convenient for Chris and I seeing as we both are unwell

I have done a  load of washing and am thinking about doing some lunch. Toasted cheese and tomato sangers sounds good and easy.  

My kitchen needs to be cleaned but I am out of spoons as I didn't sleep well last night. The weather is changing as it's autumn here and we can experience all seasons in one day. It plays havoc with my fibromyalgia. It's making me feel miserable.

I am thinking of taking a nana nap before I do the kitchen. But before that I will take some Panadol Osteo   to help relieve my fibro pain. Pacing and resting are not an option with fibromyalgia: it's a necessity. 

After I clean the kitchen I will cook chow mein and rice for dinner and if I have enough spoons I will fold the day's clean clothes and put them away.

It's a boring day here and I am glad. When you think of what's happening in the world, I can truly gratefully say that God has blessed me with a boring home life! 

Habits For a Peaceful Home

I came across this video today and it really spoke to me. With such uncertain times, it's fitting to remember that we as the homemaker, set the temper for the atmosphere of the home. It is up to us to make sure that those we love and care for have a haven that is permeated with love.

I hope you enjoy this video and pray it gives you peace as you implement it.

I am posting this here and in my other blog as I believe it will speak to a lot of us.

Also, here is another post on this...

 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “ In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15  

Because of motherly love

 

Life has been tough lately. Fibromyalgia has come with a vengeance as the weather here in Australia is so changeable. It is our autumn or fall.

A Fibromite will tell you that weather effects your pain. Coupled with some family circumstances wherein we now have another person living with us, there's not only more stress but more work.

To make matters worse, my Polymyalgia Rhuematica has returned and my knees go out of joint frequently. Pain is my constant companion.

In spite of this, I try to keep everything up to date, especially the dishes and washing.

Last week I had to cancel our cleaner because I had an urgent appointment, so today I have my Roomba going around.

I have a dryer full of clothes that need to be removed and put away. There's another one to follow.

For dinner I am planning to cook some steak, mashed potatoes with vegetables and gravy. Then it will be another stacking of the dishwasher and a lay on the couch for a while.

Not for the first time, I am glad I don't have little ones to look after now. I don't think I would manage it. It's a young person's game.

Thoughts and prayers go out to the young mothers who have a chronic painful illness. The only concession I used to make was doing my housework in my dressing gown or bathrobe instead of being in bed.

Kudos to all of us who battle on because of  motherly love. You are the true Sacrificial Home Keepers.

Bells and whistles

 

I was deep in thought on my computer this morning when something started beeping in the house.

Chris called out to me asking what went off. I did a mental check going through the chores I was currently doing. Or I should say, that my appliances were doing for me.

My washing machine was still washing. I wasn't using my oven. My robotic vacuums were fully charged waiting to be instructed on when to start cleaning. My dryer was not in use. The air fryer was not in use....

I asked Chris if he had left the fridge door open... he hadn't. There was only one thing it could be: the dishwasher. It was! 

It was such a relief to locate the beeping sound. Doubly a relief that the dishes were washed. Now we could find a clean cup to have a cup of tea.

I have had many painful conditions attack my body at once- fibromyalgia, PMR, TMJ and knees that keep wobbling out of place and my lymphedema is so active that I can't wear my usual slippers. My feet and legs are too swollen.

Along with these painful conditions has come the need to sleep around the clock. So I have been remiss in keeping the dishes washed and ready and although I have been washing our clothes, we have been living out of the laundry basket. 

I know that's not ideal, but chronic illness and consequent no spoons has dictated my pace. When one has constant chronic pain, one's attention span is short and the beeping helps bring my attention back to the task at hand. As always, I needed a clean cup to make my tea this morning.

But I digress- back to beeping- I am glad my applicances bring me back into focus and come with bells and whistles..

I think it was well worth it

 

As you know, I love watching the birds that come in to our back yard. Naturally, they fly off as soon as they notice us sitting watching them.

We don't have a vertical blind which would make it private enough to watch them without them seeing us. So I had to come up with something that wouldn't damage the house but does the trick.

Anyway, first we tried cling window dressing that was mirrored from the outside, but clear inside. It should have worked but was not very good quality and my granddaughter gave up.

When I was looking for something clingy for the window, I came across these decals. So I got some.

Putting them on was difficult for me... Chris has vertigo and couldn't help me and I didn't want to ask my granddaughter to come all the way up here to put it up again.

Anyway, it works a treat. The birds come and go and give us much enjoyment.

It was very difficult for me to apply, especially the bottom decals... my spoons evaporated quickly and my muscles complained loudly.

The next morning, I woke up with the mother of all fibromyalgia flares. My back hurt, my bottom muscles screamed, my neck and shoulders ached abominably, and my arms and wrists felt like they were tearing and my knees were hot to the touch and refused to bend..

Because of my lymphedema, my legs were propped up on pillows while I slept. I took some Panadol Osteo to help with the pain and only cooked a light dinner. 

I can now sit at my dining table and watch the birds which relaxes me so much. 

Notwithstanding that I had a fibro flare over putting the decals up, I think it was well worth it.

It's a sacrifice!

 

Today is Good Friday and I have been reflecting on the courage Jesus had to endure the humiliation, torture and crucifixion in order to pay for sins that we committed.

But a lot can happen in a few days, and Jesus overcame sin and death by rising from the dead on the third day.

For those who believe He did this for us- taking our place and bearing the punishment for sin so that we can have right standing with God- He offers eternal life. There is joy in knowing that Sunday is coming.

I am having family here for Resurrection Sunday and I am preparing a roast lamb dinner, vanilla slices, apple roses pastries. 

With the four of us unable to actually get to church, we will be taking communion to remember and honour Christ... For us, home is church... not ideal, but our hearts are in it, and for Him.

My fibromyalgia and angina are bad, so I am resting up today and tomorrow. I will be using all my spoons on Sunday. But I am nevertheless looking forward to thanking our Saviour and rejoicing on the holiest of days for us Christians.

Preparing this lunch will be a sacrifice for me, but nothing compared to the one Christ faced to redeem us and pave the way to eternity with Him.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian, here is the link...  Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

I think I've earned it!

 

You may recall I posted about my new wheels- my motorised scooter coming.. well it came this week! 

I have had a burl around the block and am very pleased with it. But I have had problems with health again and it's been hot, so I haven't been out a lot on it yet.

I have been waiting for it since December 11 last year. As it turns out, my case manager for my Aged Care package went on holiday and it was sitting in the warehouse waiting for her to clear it for delivery.

It's no use complaining and I am very grateful that I have it. My knees have been paining me very badly lately and my angina is causing my problems.

Adding having only one functioning lung and a hole in the heart and my swollen legs thanks to lymphedema, I guess I have earned it... lol 

I don't think I would cope!

 

Well, my fibromyalgia flare has abated, and I have been doing a lot of knitting as watching TV bores me to tears.

We are in Autumn or Fall here in Australia and the mornings and evenings are cold, so there's nothing nicer than doing some handcrafts in the warmth each evening and throughout the day.

I have been a bit depressed lately and I think it's because I have been watching too much news on world events. So I decided to turn it off and bring my attention to something positive.

I often listen to the Bible on YouTube read by David Suchet. It tends to put my mind at rest and gives me pleasure.

Most mornings I do breakfast and medications and go on the computer to check emails, answer any comments in my blogs and check out groceries specials and organise our medications and get the scripts that are due, refilled.  Then I tidy my home.

I have a lot of joy in watching the birds that come into our back garden and one of my morning chores is to feed them after I have fed Xena our little white cat... separately of course lol

As I am often low on spoons, I need to pace myself in the afternoon and often take a nana nap in order to be able to cook dinner.

We don't leave the house much at all, and to be honest I prefer it that way. But with my motorised scooter coming soon, I may find I quite like shopping again....

Life is pretty simple- almost boring, but with all that's happening in parts of the world, I am glad for the boring life. I don't think I would cope very well running for my life away from bombs!

Quietly dwelling

  

Next month I will be 72. All things pertaining to ageing are at an all time peak. Everything that can ache, does.

Every day I need a nana nap to get through to dinner time and really there's nothing I can do to change that. I am forced to go with the flow.

I used to buy Lite N Easy food as part of my Aged Care package, but Chris and I have become sick of it. I have no choice but to cook.

As dinner times are when my spoons are usually spent, I sit down at the kitchen table and prepare whatever I can beforehand. Then it's just a matter of cooking some meat and doing some gravy.

Both ageing and fibromyalgia keep me living in pain, but I try to not complain about it too much.

I know at this season of my life that I can take that nana nap when I need to or leave the clothes to be folded another day. Likewise I can go to bed as early as I want... there are no schedules to keep.

Each day brings its challenges but even so, I am glad to be here...life is still sweet!

Even in this quiet season of my life it is very comforting to know that I am just where God wants me to be-quietly dwelling in the simplicity of acceptance and peace.

 

I won't succumb to it...

 

I am currently unwell. My spoons have evaporated and everything that can ache or pain me, is. I am in a fibromyalgia flare.

We Aussies are in to our autumn or fall but the weather has been erratic with many days over 30C or 86F. With lots of rain to make it humid and steamy. It's bad weather for a Fibromite.

We have air conditioning but I have missed being able to go out into our back garden. So with temperatures forecast to be in the high 20's, I find I will be able to do that later on today.

I have managed to do some basic household chores. Our beds are made. I have tidied the kitchen and done a load of washing. 

There's a tray of sirloin steak out on the benchtop thawing. Later on in the afternoon I will peel some potatoes to mash and some pumpkin to go with it.

The birds are calling me. I am going to change the washing over and put it in the dryer then rest. Every Fibromite knows if you don't rest on bad days, a flare will last longer. 

After the next few chores, I am planning to go outside and read...and I won't succumb to false guilt.   

Don't let them dictate

I have been very ill off-and-on for several weeks now. But I needed to drag myself out of bed and "Make an Easter for the Family" as Connie Hultquist would say.   I will be okay. My husband (who is disabled) and I learn to live in pain and suffering.  He will say that he is going to suffer whether he is doing something in life, or sitting still and hurting.  He chooses to do things and live, rather than do nothing and suffer. He will suffer no matter what. But we put on a happy face and enjoy the family and our home and all the wonderful blessings we have.  Mrs White of Legacy of Home

 

As a chronically ill woman, I have seen two lots of sufferers- those who feel like Mrs White and I and those who take to their beds and surrender to it.

Just because the former types of ill people push on as much as humanly possible does not mean that their illness is all in their head and therefore subject to discipline of oneself. 

It means that they realise that they may as well try to live as normal a life as possible instead of taking to their bed like the latter half and doing nothing... 

We all have days where illness or disability makes it impossible to do anything,  ensuring we have to rest, but those who never try to live won't even try to have a life even on better days.

Last week I had a fibromyalgia flare and it was truly torture to try to do those jobs I need to do.. I had no other choice than to rest. But today is the first day I felt a bit better, and so resumed my "normal" routine and feel better emotionally for it.

Others would prolong the flare and continue to stay in bed as they often fear bringing on another flare. Instead, they often succumb to depression because they have mentally  put themselves in the invalid role and therefore often endure the loneliness and joylessness of the invalid.

Over the past 24 years of fibromyalgia and other illnesses, I have decided to push myself a little in order to enjoy more of my life. But there's always a balance- if I feel particularly down, I will take a nana nap or actually go to bed.

The trick is learning to co exist with these illnesses and try not to allow those dictators called "Spoons" to literally dictate how we will live each day and how much enjoyment we will derive from each of those days.

As I have been up for quite a few hours already and done some housework, my muscles are cramping and I need to rest. But at least I have some job satisfaction and can cross some tasks off my daily to do list...

Until next time, may you find some spoons to energise you and some motivation so as to enjoy the most of your life that you can today...

Don't let the spoons dictate your life every moment..

 

Some more to add to the mix

 

I have another couple of issues to add to the mix. Lymphedema with skin changes similar to this picture above.

I also have sugars over 17 fasting and it's making me feel dreadful.

I have just changed doctors since the move and she has gone on vacation for two weeks. I need to go on insulin.. 

I have been putting castor oil on my legs and it seems to be stopping the scaling which hopefully will stop the legs getting infected. My right arm is also affected...

To add the final nail in my health, I have been suffering from costochondritis which is very sore.

With a fibromyalgia flare happening as well, I am truly feeling dreadful. Prayers would be very much appreciated.

Maybe I should have rephrased it

As you may know, I have a cleaner come for a couple of hours each Thursday, thanks to my Aged Care Home Package.

She does a really good job and after she leaves, I feel really happy. 

Everything is in order and looks great and the effect it has on my spirits is wonderful. As I have said before, housework is spiritual.

After she is gone I do a few small tasks that make me happy. I change our tablecloth, organise my benchtops in the kitchen and add a new cleaning product/deodorant block to the toilets.

If I have enough spoons on the day, I will sweep down the front porch, but if not, it waits until the next day.

It's so nice to walk around my house on Thursdays and it spurs me on to cook something special. It's always nice to cook when the kitchen looks inviting...

And something funny that happened yesterday.. which was when my cleaner came... as she was leaving I said to her, "After you go, I am always very happy!" She laughed and replied, "Oh, so you are glad when I finally go?" lol... I was embarrassed..

But it was all good, she thanked me for appreciating her efforts and we laughed again and she took her leave. 

Fortunately, she has been told I like her work before and was feigning offence, but thinking about it, maybe I should have rephrased it!

I am my own doctor

 

So we have recieved more bad news from our doctor with a change of medications which, as it turns out, hosts a long list of dangerous side effects.

Our 3 monthly blood tests for diabetes and cholesterol etc came back showing a rapid rise in our sugars and cholesterol.

Our doctor is not pleased that we have stopped taking our statins, agreeing that the brain needs the cholesterol but saying with our chronic heart disease and failure that we should take them as the benefits far out the risks... and she wasn't swayed that both of our mothers died of alzheimers.

So I am sitting here praying and reflecting on what to do and we have decided to resume taking our previous medications that came with less side effects.

I am not happy that she changed our medications without informing us that they come with a host of possible dangers... as I said a few years ago, sometimes you have to be your own doctor.

Setting things to rights

So today is Monday and unlike some people who hate Mondays, I quite like them. I see Monday as the first day of the week and it is a day to put things to rights.

Sundays are our sabbath and we only do those things that are truly necessary. After all, it's supposed to be a day of rest.

We chill out and watch online services and listen to worship music and nap. But with Monday comes the need to plan to incorporate those tasks that went undone yesterday. 

I usually have washing to do and at least one load of clean clothes to fold. I try to get caught up with that plus any dishes that need washing get put into the dishwasher.

For me the tasks that take the most time and are frequent flyers are washing folding and dishes.

Provided I am not in a fibromyalgia flare and have enough spoons, (and this is always unknown and erratic), I will tackle these today.

As I said, I follow Sylvia's Lists and I will loosely follow this for Monday..  

There's always a feeling of satisfaction when/if I can do these tasks on Monday's... but still, come to think of it... I always feel happy any day when I am setting things to rights..

I'm bringing FlyLady with me!

 

As I have mentioned before, I loosely follow FlyLady and Sylvia's Lists to keep my home in order between weekly visits of a cleaner through my Aged Care Home Package.

So for two hours on a Thursday, the cleaner changes our beds, cleans our stove top and benchtops, cleans our bathrooms and toilets and vacuums and mops the floors. She dusts when necessary.

Each day after that I follow Sylvia's Lists and then when the cleaner comes, I get her to do one task in the zone FlyLady is in at that time. Eventually those detailed lists get done too.

I have been following these cleaning schedules for years and our home can be company in 30 minutes.. and with our first house inspection being a resounding success last week, we can see it's working.

As I said, it's a successful plan and I am definitely bringing FlyLady with me! 

I love being a Sacrificial Home Body!

 

I am nearly 72 and I find that there is true contentment in staying home.

Keeping the home clean and attractive is time and energy well spent and I find that it gives me a great sense of peace.

Housework is spiritual and for me keeping my home in order is good for my sense of accomplishment and peace. A messy or dirty home depresses me no end.

I have been blessed to be able to stay home for twenty years as my many illnesses saw me needing rest. But for me it has been no hardship.

After my first marriage ended, I felt lost. I missed being a wife who could stay at home but life dictated that I provide for myself and so I went to work until I met and married Chris 27 years ago.

He was happy to look after me and as illness came to stay encouraged me to stay home. He also was happy to come home to a nice meal after the work day ended.

I believe that chosing to be a stay at home wife is God ordained and is still a goal that can be achieved with careful planning and management.

This is one definition of what a housewife is:

Housewife:

A married woman who stays home.

This is a lifelong vocation.
It is an old-fashioned term,
and something to be proud of.

Not a "domestic engineer."
Not a "home manager."

An old fashioned housewife,
who keeps the home,
and abides there.

- Mrs. White of Legacy of Home.

I don't know how I managed to work with all my illnesses and I daily praise God for making it possible for me to stay home.

May He do so for you too if that is what you seek... as for me, I love being a Sacrificial Home Body! 

We rarely get any validation

 

Those of us who suffer from fibromyalgia often have little sympathy or even care from a lot of people.

Most people haven't even heard of it and most who even have, often believe it is not a serious syndrome to suffer from.

They don't realise that fibro is in fact all encompassing to the afflicted person and has the potential to dictate how we live.

Not only does fibromyalgia dictate our physical life, but our social, mental and even spiritual life. The person who states that it does not have a great impact on their life has not experienced a full blown fibromyalgia flare.

It is a sad syndrome as it has very few visible symptoms and people imply that we are faking it.

The only thing we fake is feeling better than what we do. We rarely get any validation.

It is what it is

 

So while I was still asleep, just after sunrise, Chris took some photos of our back garden.

He told me there were about 40 corellas eating the birdseed and meat scraps from dinner that I threw out after dinner.

Later on some rosellas joined them and after they left, the sparrows came down. Our place is like an airport.

Later on our cleaner from the Aged Care Provider is coming for a couple of hours and I will be straightening up the kitchen and loading the dishwasher as soon as I finish talking to you.

The washer's already going as I am washing some bedding for her to change the beds today. Of course, I will be using my dryer.

With fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica, I always use it. I have tried using my clothesline but the pain is really debilitating and I can't bear it. Like I always say, it is what it is.

There's plenty that I do.

As you may recall, I have help in housekeeping via the Australian Aged Care Home Package. 

My home cleaning schedule ensures most things are cleaned and you would think that I have it made. But there's always more things to do to run our house.

Not included is 

• Maintenance in between weekly cleans
• Pet care and feeding our cat Xena
• Washing and folding and occasional ironing
• Menu planning
• Grocery shopping online
• Cooking
• Kitchen cleaning and dishes
• Gathering rubbish for bin collection
• Budgeting and bill paying
• Scheduling doctors visits
• Updating prescriptions and filling pill containers for the week
• Organising social events occasionally

I am very grateful for the help I get but used to feel guilty that I needed it. This is false guilt and I have since gotten over it. 

Likewise, I have gotten over the feeling that I was lazy, but of course, when I consider how much I actually do, I realise I am far from it.  As well as my hobbies and blogging, there's plenty that I do . 

 

Have a cuppa with me!

 

As you know, we have recently moved. I love this house more than all the others we have lived in.

We only have one room now that is a work in progress, but the main move is done and dusted. We couldn't be happier..

I would love to show you our new home, so come in- the kettle's on- let me show you through and then have a cuppa with me!