Xena's still upset with me!

For those of you who follow my sister blog, Morning Cuppas With Glenys, you may recall that recently I had to rescue a sparrow from our little white cat, Xena's mouth.

Although it's been 2 weeks since that rescue, my relationship with her has gone south! She ignores me. When she lays on the floor in front of me, she keeps her back to me and if she walks past me on my computer desk, she presents her bottom to me as she passes me to drink from her drinking fountain on my desk.

I can't work out why she's so upset and why her grudge has continued for so long. She is well fed so the bird affair must have been for sheer pleasure of the hunt. And although the hunt was successful, she didn't get to enjoy the fruit of it...

Maybe she was trying  to please me by bringing this poor bird home like the time she brought home a dead mouse and laid it on my back doorstep.. perhaps my rejection has hurt her feline feelings...

With a very nasty fibromyalgia flare and extreme fatigue, I have been having frequent nana naps and she does still come into bed with me...

But the feeling of companionship is lacking now and I want it back. But how does one say sorry to a cat?

I fear that our relationship is permanently damaged and I am fully expecting her to put out her tongue at me to air her feelings..

I am checking her little claws as she sometimes accidentally scratches me in the night when she's curled up beside me. 

Come to think of it, maybe it's not accidental- maybe she's still fuming... I will never know. What I do know though, is that Xena's still upset with me! 

I am looking up!

So the trip last Wednesday to pick out a bed and walker and then to finish some errands that were necessary saw me with a major fibromyalgia flare.

I had to go in person to chose the adjustable bed that will hopefully help me sleep better and bring down the swelling in my legs and feet. It was necessary to try out the various mattresses and models to make a good choice.

In the end, I chose a non divided queen size medium mattress with a padded bamboo topper. This should help with the fibro muscle pain and still support my sore back. 

After that I had to try out various walkers and walk around with it. It was exhausting.

This pulmonary hypertension is literally sucking the life out of me.  It is harder than ever to walk as my breathing is effected. That, plus the hole in my heart is leaching the oxygen out of my blood cells..It makes me suffer from dizzy spells and I have to grab onto something to stop falling over ..

So today and yesterday I have been sitting down a lot. Normally I sit in front of our kitchen window which is very sunny and has a good outlook. I love watching the white cabbage moths and the birds in our back yard. It sooths me as it's very relaxing. 

It's easy to be depressed. But I don't want to stay there. While there's life, there's hope. And speaking of hope, I have been praying and thanking God that I am His child. The hope of Jesus coming for His Church, His Bride in the Rapture is a real hope to cling to.  

His love and His promise to keep me and bring me to Himself keeps me going. And as I sit here in the window sunlight, you can be sure I am looking up.

I'm in love with my new maidservant

As you probably know, I cannot bend anymore. Thanks to back issues and torn knee ligaments, bending is a thing of the past.

I had a front loader and it was so difficult bending to load and unload it that I opted to sell it and buy a top loader.

As I am 4' 10", I have problems getting garments out of large machines, but I need one large enough to wash my doona and pillow in.

I ordered a 8kgs Haier machine and I am so pleased with it. It is large enough to wash bedding and yet small enough that I don't need a step ladder to reach inside it.

Muscle pain from fibromyalgia and polymyalgia rheumatica is lessened with washing with this new machine as I am not bending as with the older one or stretching to fetch a left over sock in the tub...

It probably is silly to some people that I post about my new maidservant, but it has saved me quite a lot of pain and expense. To wash bedding, I used to have to go to the laundrymat, which is very pricey these days.

It actually is a thrill to be able to add the leftover facewasher or something into the already started load and I love watching the clothes move smoothly around the tub. Unlike the front loader which just made me ill if I watched it too long...

I didn't realise how much I missed the simple pleasures of watching the clothes come clean. I guess you can say I'm in love with my new maidservant!

Helping ourselves

 

I need pain relief. My doctor's on holiday until Feb 9 so I had a phone consult with his doctor wife. I told her my pain is currently off the charts with fibromyalgia, polymyalgia and both knees paining me badly. I asked for a prescription for Tramadol but she said for me to wait until he comes back!

Too long to wait when you are blown away with pain. So I am going to take some Prednisolone for a few days. I have some in the house.

How is it that people with genuine pain issues who rarely ask for help, are regarded with suspicion and treated like a druggie? it's not fair... 

Sometimes you have to go against the medicos and do whatever gives you relief.. (as in taking Prednisolone for some relief) People who are chronically ill and in pain have been known to commit suicide... I can understand why- not that I am going to... just sayin'

We are judged so harshly because of those who rort the system and abuse the drugs.. We have to be our own doctor and help ourselves.

Do you find that too?

We are in need of haircuts but it is such an ordeal getting out that I placed a query online in our local group on FB and a hairdresser who comes to the house pm'd me. 

It will be nice to have my hair styled short. Not sure what to ask for- I can't have a fringe or hair on my nape because with fibro, I itch too much and scratch my skin...

Fellow fibromites,  do you find that too? 

It's all too much

 

So recently I have had chest pain in angina and breathing problems coupled with what I thought was fatigue from an ongoing fibromyalgia flare.

My blood pressure sky rocketed, requiring a visit to a cardiologist who ordered an echocardiogram. My general practitioner told me if the results were bad, he would contact me. And he did.

I got the call last Friday telling me to make an appointment for a phone consult so I ended up speaking to the doctor on Monday. He told me I have heart failure due to Pulmonary Hypertension.

There is no cure for it but there are some treatments. I am already on blood thinners which I will stay on as PH can cause blood clots in the lungs. I already take 7 blood pressure tablets a day.

I often have felt dizzy and this is another symptom of PH and I feel like I can't get enough air in at times. The time will come when I will probably need oxygen at home.

Forget about exercise- I nearly collapse with exhaustion after walking up our long passage to answer the door.

I will know more tomorrow when I see the doctor in person. This is needful because he wants to check out the swelling in my feet, ankles and legs. I suspect I have fluid in my abdomen too. It hurts and is tight like a drum.

I had a blood test yesterday to check on my kidney function and this will be a regular thing.

Lately it's been one thing after another and I am a tad depressed. Prayers would be much appreciated. It's all too much! 

When an aspirin won't fix it

                                 

When it comes to Fibromyalgia many people – men and women – have reported a reduction in their libido due to the sometimes chronic nature of the condition. Sometimes Fibromyalgia sufferers can feel perfectly well and are willing to make love but a ‘flare-up’ can put paid to such willingness.

The sheer unpredictability of the condition is such that it can leave one or both partners feeling as though they are not wanted and that perhaps the other partner is making excuses; this is simply not the case.

Sufferers of Fibromyalgia, especially in its chronic form, find it difficult to make love because of the levels of pain they have to endure. Making love requires a considerable amount of bodily movement and if the trigger points flare up then this movement can be painful or at the very least uncomfortable.

Another problem with Fibromyalgia is the way in which an individual’s body weight can fluctuate; this too has consequences on the libido, making the sufferer feel as though they are unable to perform and instilling in them a lack of self-confidence which manifests itself as a lack of libido.

It is important to emphasise that a lack of libido can be turned around either by reducing stress and anxiety or by changing one’s daily routine. Your doctor will not necessarily prescribe any medication to help combat this problem as there is not really much that can be done physically about the condition.

I think it is very important to reassure your husband that you still love him even though you are hurting too much for intimacy. In areas of chronic pain and illness, communication must be open so that there are no silent doubts about whether you as a wife, still love your husband.

So important is this area of intimacy in marriage, that I would suggest that you be willing to try to accommodate your husband at any reasonable time, instead of just at night when you are understandably tired out. If lovemaking is simply impossible, remember to caress and cuddle your husband. author unknown

Remember to be demonstrative and vocal with letting your husband know you love him. He will most likely be feeling anxious that he can't help you in your suffering. Fibromyalgia flares can't be fixed by taking a few aspirins.

 

My beloved is white and ruddy, chief among ten thousand. Song of Songs 5:10

She is not afraid of the snow

 

Recently Chris and I have been stocking up our fridge, freezer and pantry. The world is a very sad place and nothing is sure...

We aren't living in fear- we just think with the price of diesel, strikes, problems in distribution and so on, that it would be prudent to have some back up food in the house.

So far we have enough groceries to last us about six weeks on a planned menu that doesn't use all our reserves at once, yet nourishes us. I have a few extra packs and tins of cat food for Xena.

In line with this, I have been getting prescriptions filled promptly and buying extra diabetic supplies. Again, enough to last us about six weeks. And that includes pain killers for my fibromyalgia.

Already we have had distribution problems with shipping containers banked up on wharves and no workers willing to unload them. With all our various health issues that require many tablets a day to control plus insulin injections, we are aware that having a few weeks in advance if possible is also prudent.

My antidepressants weren't available for months and if I hadn't been wise, I would have had a meltdown. Fortunately I had a couple of boxes of them in obeyance. 

Whilst I don't advocate stocking up because of fear, it is not wrong to anticipate difficulties in obtaining basic supplies and acting accordingly.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks   

 

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet-Proverbs 31:21

More than a place to sleep

 

Recently someone asked why do we make our bed? I gave it some thought as I have recently been making my own bed daily, in spite of regularly going back into it for a nana nap. Here's a few thoughts on why I use my precious spoons to make my bed.

Physically its more comfortable to sleep in. 

Psychologically its more inviting.

It makes the room visually more esthetically pleasing.

The bed's the centrepiece of the room like in a painting. 

It gives the illusion of order and calm.

It uplifts my spirits when I come into my bedroom.

With fibromyalgia, angina and back problems, I make mine but often get back in it. So I remake it.

When I make it, I don't get on my knees as they are broken and I do not do hospital bed mitred corners. I pull up my top sheet, then turn back the minky blankets. With arthritic hands, the only tucks I do are at the bottom of the bed to secure the bedding...

But, being honest, I sometimes let it go when I have a fibro flare- being satified that the sheets and bedding is clean. But the majority of times, my beds are made. 

Beds are more comfortable made up or at least straightened and are more than a place to sleep.

Ya gotta laugh

                                             

I got some of things I wanted to do done, but alas, it came with a cost. I have another flare of fibromyalgia.

I can hardly move and hurt everywhere. It doesn't help that we have thunderstorms on the horizon  either. So today I have only washed my dishes and I will cook dinner. It's all I can manage.

All our bedding is washed and dried and when our cleaner comes Monday, she will put more clean sheets on. I just did the minkie blankets and our doonas.

I must say that drying the minkie blankets in the dryer has given them a slightly grey tinge, but they are still soft and smell great. Most importantly, they are clean.

My plan for the remainder of the day is to cook bangers and mash for dinner. I will take some Tramadol because my knees are hurting as well as the usual fibro pain.

Xena was outside for a bit and was attacked by a horrible Siamese cat who stalks her. I ran to help her and damaged both my sore knees. I am in too much pain to get down the steps and walk to the back garden to pick up my slipper that I threw at it. 

That Siamese cat didn't want to budge and would not leave the back garden. He's stubborn and has worn out his welcome. Much like my meniscus pain in my worn out knees: joking.  Ya gotta laugh.