Living on a wing and a prayer

Before I injured my knee, I bought a food processor and I promised to make Chris some sultana muffins. It arrived Friday and I just unpacked it this morning.

I can't stand on my leg for long, but I think I can manage to reach the processor if I sit on my high barstool which graces our breakfast bar.

Whilst hoping to make muffins for afternoon tea today, I am hoping to make a sweet beef curry in the slow cooker for dinner. It feels good to actually have enough spoons to cook. My fibromyalgia flare seems to have gone.

Later on after dinner, I am going to take a shower as my new shower chair has arrived as well. I should be able to manage if I can sit down. I will time it so that Chris can be nearby in case I run into difficulties.

It was bad enough with a meniscus tear in the left leg without another one in the right now, however life goes on and it is possible to run the house seated. You learn to adapt.

My cleaning lady came today and the house looks nice. I had it tidy before she came so that all she has to do is clean and not tidy everything just so she can start.

I am hoping my knee doesn't require the Tramadol today as it makes me so tired that I won't achieve my goals in the kitchen.

I am mindful of every step I need to take so if I am careful, I should get away with just Panadol or Tylenol.  One thing I can't get away with is a quick prayer as I am literally living on a wing and a prayer.

Wheelchair bound

So, the MRI results are in. I have a meniscus tear, fabella, torn posterior crucius ligament, bursitis and osteo arthritis behind the patella. It needs surgery as it does not repair itself.

I am to see an orthopaedic surgeon and meanwhile I must rest the knee and use pain killers. 

We have bought a shower chair and a wheelchair. I have had Chris push me on the seat of my walker, but it is a big strain on his heart and I worry about him. 

It is difficult to focus enough to write at the moment and I spend a lot of time on the couch aka the beach, or in bed with my electric blanket.

I am just able to stand enough to wash some dishes, cook a meal and stack the washer and dryer. Chris helps sometimes and has been my legs.

I am making use of the slow cooker a lot, cooking the meals as I am able to stand.

As with all new health issues, I am trying to come to terms with this "new normal" and the constant struggles with fibromyalgia are now "normal" and this new challenge is calling for all my ability to accept my new lot in chronic illness.

I am disheartened that both my knees have now given way (I have a torn meniscus in my other knee), and am trying to feel grateful that I could afford a wheelchair. Thank goodness for afterpay.

However romantic a picture I can find really doesn't cut it for me as I struggle to accept that I am now wheelchair bound.

Walking like Tin Man!

So my right knee has been hurting for six weeks since I drove for five hours a day when Chris wasn't feeling well enough to do it. I was hopeful that it would come better, but unfortunately it hasn't and it came to a crescendo two days ago.

Making a pivoting step to turn round and grab something out of my fridge, I felt a searing pain that nearly made me pass out and I thought I had torn the meniscus in the right knee as well as the left one injured three years ago.

With pain still from my jaw following a dental extraction that saw my jaw planed which then brought on a bad fibromyalgia flare, the pain in my knee saw me getting wheeled into my doctor's office 2 days. I cannot put any weight on it at all and it feels unstable.

Two days later and Xrays under arm, we returned to the doctor who told me my ACL ligament had snapped and sheared off some of the tibia with it. He rang an orthopaedic specialist for a look at the films and a second opinion.

Turns out the tibia is intact, but I have a bony stone behind the knee called a fabella. I am having a MRI tomorrow which will tell us more and indicate what treatment is available for the ligament damage as well as the fabella.

I am unable to put any weight on it and have been told to rest the leg. I have been given Tramadol to cope with the pain.

So I am looking at getting a shower chair and possibly hiring a wheelchair. We find that easier for Chris to use as I am concerned about him pushing me especially with his heart problems.

For the next few days at least, it's rest, pain relief and trying to remain positive as I walk like Tin man in the Wizard of Oz! 

Tomorrow may be better

 

So Friday night I developed a raging toothache. By Sunday I was so desperate for relief that I was seriously considering going to the ER at our local hospital.

I only had Panadol or Tylenol here and it wasn't helping at all. Waking up Monday morning, I rang the emergency department in our local dental hospital and they made an appointment for me that afternoon.

My tooth was cracked, exposing the nerve, so it had to be extracted. It was a difficult extraction and my jaw had to be planed down as it had jagged edges after the tooth was removed.

The dentist would not prescribe opiates for pain relief and told me to see my doctor. Fortunately for me, he did a phone consult and left a script for Tramadol for us to pick up. Chris got it dispensed for me and it was a life saver.

With my knees both paining me and a fibromyalgia flare brought on by the extraction, I felt like I was drowning in pain. So yesterday I spent most of the day in bed.

Today, I have a lot of dishes to wash and owing to how I feel, it will be the only job I make myself do.

I will make some Jewish Penicillin for dinner tonight and we will have a salad sandwich for lunch.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

So what's on your plate?

I am trying to balance a plant based diet with red meat. I have a diet full of salmon and other fish, chicken and red meat, with about 50% per meal of plant based food. 

As I am a chronic kidney stone maker and have too much uric acid in my blood, I can't eat too much calcium oxalate. So I can't go on a totally plant based diet. 

When I had the Nutri Bullet/Ninja I drank vegetable based smoothies daily and I had 5 stones in 6 months. The uric acid mixes with the oxalate forming uric acid crystals. So I have to take allopurinol daily. 

It's a delicate blend- the vegetables and the red meats. It's a fine line I walk daily, trying to eat right. I have 120lbs to lose, by the way. Not easy. 

Today I am going to the doctors and I am going to ask him if he can allow me to start my Prednisolone again for my fibromyalgia pain. Also for my arthritis in both knees.

There's only so much you can bear and I need some respite from the pain. Coupled with dietary and weight issues, it's not fun.

Today I am asking how you are doing with your chronic illness and weight. So what's on your plate? 

Drowning in fear?

 

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16   Click here to become a Christian 

Don't lose hope!

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.  Psalms 42:5

Do you feel hopeless? Well you may because this world isn't going back to normal. This world is over But theres hope! Its in a Saviour #Jesus who gave His life for us. Believe in Him & you will live forever. Accept Him & live! He's our #Hope. our joy. our future.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16   Click here to become a Christian

More than enough to do

We are on a snap lockdown.  I need to get some prescriptions filled.  Also I have some mail to pick up at the post office.

Apart from essential services such as post and chemist, everything else is closed or people are working from home. 

This is our fourth lockdown  this  year and  is mainly because  people  are not following protocols when they have been interstate. Oh well, as the young ones say, it is what it is. 

I  have dishes to do,  a  load of washing  to fold  from the dryer  and cook dinner.  After the chemist and post office. 

The way I feel today with my fibromylgia flaring and back pain,  it will be more than enough to do...

Like, sure that will work!

As you know, I really love watching the many birds that come into our back garden, and I feed them all the time.

Xena our cat also watches them, but I am not sure what her motives are! Anyway, they have gotten used to her sitting watching them and they eat freely in front of her.

Of all the birds, my favourite are the kingfishers and I always leave a treat for them on the actual porch. The others eat further down near the bird feeder, but the kingfishers always come up checking for treats.

It started out with one brown kingfisher, but now there are about four brown ones and two black and white.

No matter where they are, I have my "love glances" from the LORD. He always causes me to turn round or look up just as they appear. He is so loving and good! 

It is winter here and we have rain which exacerbates my fibromyalgia. So today I am planning on just doing my dishes and cooking. Pork chops with mashed potato and salad are on the menu for tonight.

My knee is still so sore and I feel like my polymyalgia rheumatica is coming back. I am toying with the idea of putting myself back on my Prednisolone. We will see.

With opioids being so restricted and my paracetamol aka Tylenol being practically useless, I am going to try to distract myself watching the birds and taking my mind off it. Like, sure that will work! 

I'm my own worst enemy!

When I have no spoons or motivation to do housework, I often watch Youtube videos of people cleaning their home. Sometimes it works and I feel that I can get something done.

This can sometimes go against me because often the videos are of women half my age, with no disabilities and therefore no need to worry about spoons or flares or having to take a nana nap.

They seem to be cleaning houses that are already immaculate and they make it look so easy. Their homes outshine mine in every way, and so does their appearance. It can make me more depressed if I am in a flare of fibromyalgia, trying to get motivated to clean and teetering at the edge of the Pit of Despair. 

So I have to take Chris's advice and remember that I am an older woman with chronic health issues and try not to compare myself with them. But the desire to kindle a spark of motivation is strong and I find myself gravitating to those videos like a moth to a flame. And often it only makes me feel worse!

Sometimes, I think I'm my own worst enemy!